Struggling to be comfortable with Church settings

[L10]

Just a bit of a down time for me, but not necessarily because of the Church. Sure, my sermon joys, Christian music, subscription, Bible reading... these all keep me lifted as much as possible.

I do have to admit that I have a few significant stingers that the most recent Churches have given me. The last Church was beginning to become sorta comfortable when a few dogmatic actions sorta made me uncomfortable. There would start to be a prayer, and then the congregation would begin to all pray aloud their very own prayer. A few other things really nerved a person that was there for more important things.

So, my wife and I sought counseling there as well. Nothing ever really went well with that either, as I would attend to things, yet she would not. Well, unless she was told to divorce me.

So the bitter pill goes with the impending divorce, and the scriptures that allegedly were shared to me to have a right to marry again,,, questionable.

Before this I went to a Church that was a little overly charismatic, and the testimonies were at times stretched to a point of fabrication. I know this because the Pastor claimed a word of knowledge about my wife at the time, , claiming her to be healed. Ok, this was true, but because we had told him about this already before the sevice.

So, perhaps examples are enough already. I really need encouragement, edification, rebuke... but it is just too difficult to press for discomfort.

Yes, I sorta feel that I will already be uncomfortable going to my very next Church alone.

Life has been difficult enough recently, and working and keeping healthy have been so incremental.

Before I have a pronounced discernment that shares that this is something I can overcome easily, please do understand that I truly love the Lord, His people, and His assembly so much.

I am not made comfortable with tons and tons of singing, even though I like to sing.

I need a sermon with meat. I need more than that also.

Anyone ever felt a discomfort like any of this? Consider I am totally on my own now, and working very late hours.

I have had some amazing friends at my late night work, but they have either quit, or become busy on other shifts now.

I do not question my faith in Jesus Christ one bit right now. I do question my next step in my walk with him.

My wife is gone, friends are going thru trials, and my only family is very (hermit) isolated.

I rebuke satan from using any of my little whinings for his advantage. I strive to seek God's glory and joy. I really do.

[L10]

Maybe I need some Good Christian friends in the area. I just dunno; but it does really hurt.

Let me whine for one moment please:

My sister tells me to get rid of any of my friends that have problems, for they are not really living for God. ~ and she only has one friend !

My better friends are sorta burnt out from my difficulties with the divorce.

My female friends were seeming wonderful, when suddenly my most confided one saw a chance for me to be moving into her house~~~ the day my divorce was final. I really struggle to see the true Christian walk in her.

One of my friends is sorta new in Christ, and would rather ask me for an answer than looking in the Bible. Ok, I do not mind being looked up to for scripture, but I would like the book to be opened. Yeah, will open it up there.

My long time buddie is becoming involved in alternative lifestyles, and it is even bringing another friend into it.

So, maybe my sister is making some sense, but I do not want to abandon all my friends that are less than perfect. Her life is not perfect, but she would share that she is not sinning though.... a little odd.

I do have some decent friends, and some decent Christian friends. They are just at an alltime low.

i have way too much to give, to share, to be consoled in. I don't want to waste time, but I also won't just jump to people and use them. Help, while I have my sanity and health. Thanks <><

[nebula]

Hi, L10.

In many ways, I can empathize with your pain. My whole life has been a walk of loneliness.

And I know the disappointment of church.

As for your friends, I wouldn't abandon them unless they are truly pulling your faith down. The woman who wants you to move in with her would be an example. But in my own life, there were times the only friends I had were unsaved and/or younger in the faith than me, and I found the Lord still using them to bless me - maybe not in the way I desired, but they still did.

I don't know why the Lord makes some of us walk through such loneliness and isolation and brokenness, but yet He does. Our walk with the Lord requires time in the desert to draw nearer to Him. For there you are forced to rely on Him for survival, to learn from Him how to find water, how to find nourishment, and learn to see the beauty in the barrenness. And I know it IS painful. I am not making light of how hard this is.

As for trusting God, while there are ways He could have intervened with your marriage, He still gave your wife the gift of free choice, just as He gave the rest of us, and if her choice was too far gone to be turned, He had to let her go. I know that hurts to be so rejected - but Jesus is rejected the same way every day by those He loves passionately and deeply. He knows your pain; He lives your pain.

Just a fellow wanderer doing the best I know how to offer you a drink.

Prayers and blessings for the healing of your heart and your faith.

[Leonard]

May the Lord clear your mind of these clouds and grant clarity of thought and vision. +

[Guest]

Praying~!

[B3L13v3R]

Praying for ya L10.

At times, we can make the Word our prayers.

Psalms 119:1-20

ALEPH. Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the LORD. Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart. They also do no iniquity: they walk in his ways. Thou hast commanded us to keep thy precepts diligently. O that my ways were directed to keep thy statutes! Then shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect unto all thy commandments. I will praise thee with uprightness of heart, when I shall have learned thy righteous judgments. I will keep thy statutes: O forsake me not utterly. BETH. Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments. Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. Blessed art thou, O LORD: teach me thy statutes. With my lips have I declared all the judgments of thy mouth. I have rejoiced in the way of thy testimonies, as much as in all riches. I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways. I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word. GIMEL. Deal bountifully with thy servant, that I may live, and keep thy word. Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law. I am a stranger in the earth: hide not thy commandments from me. My soul breaketh for the longing that it hath unto thy judgments at all times.

As an example, in prayer I would ask of the Lord in the above verses:

Lord, help me to be undefiled in your way, give me strength to walk in your laws and keep your testimonies. I wish to seek you with my whole heart! Help me to keep your percepts, direct my way in Your statutes! Thank you God for in doing these things in Your strength then I shall not be ashamed, I then can praise you with an upright heart. Open my eyes, show me the Truth that I need for this day. I long to know you!

-As Christians get closer to our Lord, many times our "friends" become less and less.

I would say my biggest surprise of this came from a number of the churches in the past, some that I had been part of for some time.

I could not understand. If I loved Jesus Christ and His Truth, and was looking to love them in His strength, why did they not care to have anything to do with me? (Or for that matter any of my family?)

Until I began to understand the significance of just how much of the "world" was in much of the religious church system:

John 15:17-20

These things I command you, that ye love one another. If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

1 John 4:19-21

We love him, because he first loved us. If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.

[OldShep]

Praying~!

Me to~~~!

[L10]

Hi, L10.

In many ways, I can empathize with your pain. My whole life has been a walk of loneliness.

And I know the disappointment of church.

As for your friends, I wouldn't abandon them unless they are truly pulling your faith down. The woman who wants you to move in with her would be an example. But in my own life, there were times the only friends I had were unsaved and/or younger in the faith than me, and I found the Lord still using them to bless me - maybe not in the way I desired, but they still did.

I don't know why the Lord makes some of us walk through such loneliness and isolation and brokenness, but yet He does. Our walk with the Lord requires time in the desert to draw nearer to Him. For there you are forced to rely on Him for survival, to learn from Him how to find water, how to find nourishment, and learn to see the beauty in the barrenness. And I know it IS painful. I am not making light of how hard this is.

As for trusting God, while there are ways He could have intervened with your marriage, He still gave your wife the gift of free choice, just as He gave the rest of us, and if her choice was too far gone to be turned, He had to let her go. I know that hurts to be so rejected - but Jesus is rejected the same way every day by those He loves passionately and deeply. He knows your pain; He lives your pain.

Just a fellow wanderer doing the best I know how to offer you a drink.

Prayers and blessings for the healing of your heart and your faith.

Thanks so much, that really touched my heart. God has brought me to a point of forgiveness today, which is better than yesterday's low. So now I forgive the people that I allowed to hurt me. Again, thanks

[L10]

Praying~!

Brother, I think you have gotten to know the lowest of the low in my life now. I am so sorry !! God Bless you, always

[Guest]

Praying~!

Brother, I think you have gotten to know the lowest of the low in my life now. I am so sorry !! God Bless you, always

Thank You

Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; Ephesians 6:18

Beloved

We give thanks to God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you, Since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus, and of the love which ye have to all the saints, Colossians 1:3-4