Dealing with a sister who is having an affair.

[prodigal2013]

"Love her where she’s at right now not where she will be in the future or where she was at in your childhood. Those moments have either not happened yet or are in the past. Neither of which you have control over."

 

I meant to quote this before and didn't. This really spoke to me. I have been comparing who she was before with who she is now.

Thank you for the prayers.

 

 

 

Edited October 31, 2013 by prodigal2013

[prodigal2013]

 

 

Edited October 31, 2013 by prodigal2013

[prodigal2013]

 

I know my anger is something that needs to be let go of, and I have been working on that and praying about that. It's difficult because I take care of her children 3 days per week, so I feel especially involved in the situation because of the kids.

be open and honest with your sister..... 

 

I have been scared. I was babysitting the kids awhile back and found out that she was not where she said she was. It wasn't the first time, but it was the first time I knew for certain, so I confronted her. She threw me out of her house and didn't speak to me for a little while. She reached out to me later to apologize, but I have been afraid to say anything negative since then.

[other one]

 

 

I know my anger is something that needs to be let go of, and I have been working on that and praying about that. It's difficult because I take care of her children 3 days per week, so I feel especially involved in the situation because of the kids.

be open and honest with your sister..... 

 

I have been scared. I was babysitting the kids awhile back and found out that she was not where she said she was. It wasn't the first time, but it was the first time I knew for certain, so I confronted her. She threw me out of her house and didn't speak to me for a little while. She reached out to me later to apologize, but I have been afraid to say anything negative since then.

 

well you could meet them at the door and when she introduces him just tear up and cry...

 

when my sister divorced her first husband, it really messed with our families heads.  we come from a multi generational very long marriage family on both sides of the family.  personally i love my sister unconditionally......  i never asked her why......  and neither did any of my family.    

 

my son and his wife divorced and it broke my heart......   but he didn't say why and i didn't ask other than to ask him if either of them had been unfaithful....  they both told us no...the rest of it was not my business.  i love my son unconditionally......  i even kind of like his x.   I liked my brother in law also, but grew to be very fond of my sisters second husband.

 

long story short, you are simply going to have to decide if you love your sister unconditionally....   it helps to remember how much God loves us

[*Zion*]

Hi Prodigal, I'm very sorry to hear about the situation.  Pray. Then pray some more. 

 

We win more in prayer than we do in our own words.  Pray for the situation, the kids, what to do, what to say, pray.  You may not see the instant turn around.  you may not see what you expect as result of prayer.  But  apart from Jesus we can do nothing.  Let him do it, He does it best.  This is an excercise in faith. 

 

God will answer your prayers; what you have to do is follow the ensuing instructions.  Doesn't matter what they are.  That's where the faith comes in the most. 

 

Your obedience will serve as an example to your sister and she will be challenged by the lack of hers.  It will also be a comfort to the kids, to know that they can pray to God about how this is affecting them too.

 

It's not easy in the flesh.  Pray for more infilling of the Holy Spirit.  He will guide you and give you strength and courage.  He is our Helper and Comforter.

 

 

 

I pray that God turns this situation into a blessing for His glory , as He has done in so many other painful situations.  Amen.

[WillfromTexas]

Dealing with family is never easy.  I myself have a sister that I sometimes think is evil incarnate and she claims to be a Christian and goes to church too.  But she continues to do things that cause much strife.  No matter what she does my mother refuses to not be involved with her life which drags me into the situation.

 

You need to get away from your sister like I need to get away from mine.  Not easy I know.They are our sisters, and we love them in that capacity, but there needs to be a point where you leave them to their own devices, when their behavior starts to effect you deeply. 

 

Your sister sounds very manipulative and there's probably A LOT going on that you don't know.  I'd do your best to support the kids and be straight up with your sister.  Tell her she's ripped her family apart, hurting her own children and you don't want to be involved anymore.  Get away so you can at least look at the situation from a distance- you're too involved.  She needs to make a decision to repair her marriage and seek counseling- or divorce her husband and seperate.  Sounds like it has dragged out way too long for all parties involved.

 

Now I'm no doctor or psychologist- so take what I've said with a grain of salt.  Always enter every situation prayerfully.  If she ever changes and seems truly repentent then forgive her.

[ncy]

It's your job as a Christian to show her God's love.  It's also your job to confront her (gently, with love) in private.  If that doesn't work, take another Christian with you and confront her again.  By no means should you help her cover up her affair at all.  If all else fails, accept that it is God's job to change her heart, not yours.  Pray for her.