I need some strong support NOW

[Leonard]

Roro: Look in the phone book under Churches. Find the Charismatic Episcopal Church in Atlanta area. I think we have 3 around there. I know most of our clergy and can vouche for them.

I trust you will find a Pastor who can give you and your Missus some real help.

May God restore your marriage and grant you every blessing with joy.

[ray]

It may be too late to read these books but they may help if there is still time and hope.

Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Storker

(plus work book for Every Man's Battle

Every Women's Desire by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Storker

Also, I think these athours have a seris of book called boundries and one of the is called boundries in marriage.

If past time for reading you may need to seek martial counseling perferably from a christian counselor.

If its past all that you may need to call on Dr. Phil. just kidding.

Don't forget to pray pray pray and pray a little more.

[carlos123]

Hi Roro,

I have been having major marital problems too bro so first thing I would like to say is that you are not alone! You are NOT ALONE! Come back and read this when you feel that you are. It is a lie of the devil.

If you want to know more about my own problems just look at the thread titled "Fed up with my wife!" on this same forum. I started it. While my problems are not as problematic as yours seem to be my wife is deeply deceived and hurtful toward me in some similar though less blatent ways as yours has been.

Aside from the fact that you are not alone I would like to point out some other things that I have learned through my own struggles if I might.

1. There is NO guarantee that your wife will repent, turn back to God, and become the kind of wife that you think or feel that you need. So despite all that you are doing, all the prayers that you or others offer up to God on your behalf and hers, and all that you may do you might loose her still.

2. DON'T do things to try and get your wife back just to get her back. Do things out of conciousness of the Lord in your own life and to please Him. Don't be a man pleaser by trying to please your wife as if your life depended on it. Surrender the future of your marriage to the Lord and love your wife because He wants you to. Not because doing so might win her back. It may not.

3. Surrender yourself afresh to the Lord. Take up the cross of what you are suffering and instead of trying all that you can to rid yourself of the pain determine to follow Him despite your pain. You have the ability to choose obedience. Obey what you know. Pour out your heart to God and let Him strenghten you in His Presence as you behold Him.

4. Last but certainly not least apologize for any wrong doing you have done to your wife. Don't promise to do better. Just apologize and leave it that. Then aim to please God. You will do better no doubt but the aim is not to do better as a way of proving your apology to your wife. The aim is to please God. If your aim is true then your wife will see improvement. It will be up to her whether to forgive you for any wrongdoing you have done to her. She may or may not forgive you. That's her choice.

I hope the above helps roro.

Carlos

[Charisse48]

Dear roro,

My question to you would be why don't you feel you can go to those you are close to? I feel like satan is keeping you from those who love you. This is a great forum but its not like having those or at least one person you can go to.

You never know how God will work through a close friend, please reconsider your not wanting to go to at least one of your friends. My heart is breaking for you.

Your wife is in sin, its about her. It has to do with her issues and you can't fix her.

You both will be in my prayers please work through why you feel you can't talk to some one who knows you.

I am also from Atlanta, just on the north side.

Charisse

Edited December 14, 2004 by Charisse48

[roro]

greetings in the lord all,

my wife and i have been praying together nightly, hard fervent prayer. i have taken up the mantel of the spiritual leader of the house that i somehow let slip away. funny how these things happen without us knowing it. i am smiling again. the problems are not fixed but they are on their way in the right direction. once again thank you to all who have been praying. i have experienced a healing touch through your prayers and notes of compassion.

Carlos, you are in my prayers brother.

i am reading dobsons "when love must be tough" and since my wife asked me to read it months ago and i didn't, "five languages of love". both have been informative and helpful. i am trying to adopt a christ-like approach to serving my wife, not letting her use me as a doormat, but trying to meet her needs in every i way can. i will check out the other book posted (can't remember who right now but thank you) as well.

i will continue to post more later. we are taking a mini vacation later this week to spend some time alone together.

ALSO, i have a new job PRAISE THE LORD! I start on jan 3rd, excellent pay, stable company, and something i will enjoy doing. i feel great.

roro

[RustyAngeL]

roro,

I have to agree with my sister Jade. Your wife is totally out of line. You have lost your job..it happens but instead of helping you spiritually and and building up your moral she is cheating on you, I don't care if it's on the phone or otherwise. I take it your both christians, but her behavior is inexcusable. As Jade said you need to get some consoling, if she won't go the you go, but make sure it's a christian pastor or conselor. I watched my best friend have an affair with her husbands best friend. She too is a christian, but in this case the marriage was saved and I believe yours can be too, However, you cannot act as if nothing is wrong. You have to put your foot down and make her understand your not going to put with her little phone affair. It demoralizes both of you and only damages the marriage further. When there is no more trust then what do you have left? Seek help I really believe with Gods help you can pull this marriage out of the fire and make it work. I'll be praying.

Edited December 20, 2004 by Rustyangel

[his]

Praying

[carlos123]

Carlos, you are in my prayers brother.

Not sure why I am in your prayers roro but I certainly can always use more . Thats for sure. Thanks.

It's just a bit of an odd response to what I shared here. That's all.

Glad to hear things are going better.

Carlos