please advise my friends on this practicsl MARRIAGE issue

[opportunitykenny]

The church leaders are more concerned about GOD'S WILL because both claimed to have been led to eachother but the problem is with the brother because he does not admire the sister and he has no inward love for her though he claimed to have seen some similarities between how he was led in the past and the present marriage matter

[KC02]

how many times has the brother been married before? I think at a certain point you should give it up

[ajchurney]

The church leaders are more concerned about GOD'S WILL because both claimed to have been led to eachother but the problem is with the brother because he does not admire the sister and he has no inward love for her though he claimed to have seen some similarities between how he was led in the past and the present marriage matter

The other brothers have given some good advice, particularly that the man MUST be open and honest about his feelings (or lack thereof!). He needs to be kind and sensitive about how he presents it (in love), but he has to be real and not try to fake it til he makes it! The man needs to read Song of Solomon a few times, then pray and ask the Lord if he can give this woman at least some measure of passion and affections that he sees portrayed there. It is good not to stir up physical passions until after the vows, but there ought to be at least a little foretaste of that glory!! One cannot base a marriage on physical attractions, but the scripture is certainly not silent about it, so neither should the counsel that the couple receives! You ignore the full aspects of marriage at your own risk. One cannot get hyper-spiritual and act like there is absolutely nothing to romance and affections, neither make it everything. The fact that they have spiritual things in common is good, but may not indicate that they are meant to be married.

Thanks for being a good friend to them, Andy

[His_disciple3]

Did everyone overlook the part that both felt like God has brought them together. think upon, Moses refused God said he couldn't give a good speech, Jonah run from God and the people God was wanting him to minister to. Ever been in a church, that you felt like God wanted you there but at first you felt like a fish out of water, but you hung in there and everything worked out?

[BFP]

Did everyone overlook the part that both felt like God has brought them together. think upon, Moses refused God said he couldn't give a good speech, Jonah run from God and the people God was wanting him to minister to. Ever been in a church, that you felt like God wanted you there but at first you felt like a fish out of water, but you hung in there and everything worked out?

Thank you! I was trying to say this...I have a cousin who met and married a man brought to her by God twenty five years ago. I was at thier wedding...thought it was insane! Her husband actually got up and said to everyone " I am marrying ------ because God brought her to me to be my help meet, not because I love her". And there was more. I was so angry about this loveless union at the time...but wow, to see what God has brought them too now! They are so much in love with each other and God! God came first in thier marriage from the beginning and it shows! Don't ever disobey something that is lead by God ever... Blessing flows from obedience. Tell your friend that! Man knows nothing about love...but God does have a plan

[KC02]

Did everyone overlook the part that both felt like God has brought them together.

Yeah but we need to check the Word.

 

It is taboo to fall in love in Muslim countries before the wedding! And they have a lower divorce than rate than us Westerners. It does work. However, I'm a fairly liberal Christian but I wonder if they are both free to marry (again?) I believe God want's us to stay together if that is possible. We can get through anything with God's help.

 

Does "brother" love and respect other women? How many time has he been married before? Does he respect ANY woman?

 

Unless their relationship matches up with the Word, then God simply isn't talking to them. We have "fornication" (Mat. 19:9)  (however you narrowly or liberally) define it, and those they are unbelievers (1 Cor 7:15). In these cases it is o.k. to remarry.

 

Even if they have never married, I don't see how now would be the time. You shouldn't get married until you are 35. Why would she marry a guy who didn't respect her? She would do better throwing darts at an American Most Wanted Poster.

[opportunitykenny]

What a good and golden opportunity to have people of help in a life matter that pattains to a future and eternity. This assertion is hinged on the fact that marriage either makes or mars us. I pray that through marriage our lives will not be destroyed.

I quite appreciate sincerely all the people who contributed so far to this topic and discussion. God will be there to help you in time of need.

Of a truth, I am a man who thinks a lot about what will be the lot of sisters who seems not to be attractive but spiritual. And going by the word of God especially as related to Jacob, Issac, Abraham, and others they have wives they all appreciated and admired and in passionate love with.

About these two brethren we are discussing, both the sister and brother are almost over-due for marriage. None of them has ever been married before and they believe that God would give them each a life-partner they will love to live it. But now it is occuring that the sister has seen the will of God and ready to settle for it; the brother also has seen the will of God as said earlier but afraid to settle for it because he does not have love for her as he is not been attracted to her appearance and styles.

The question is this: is it safe for the brother to continue with this situation of NO love, affection and admiration for the sister? Is it all-okay for both to proceed simply because they claimed to be led to eachother? Is it right to simply say that lack of love and admiration means that it is not God's will? If it is God's will, then when is this love and admiration going to erupt? Hope this love eruption is not going to be too late after marriage. Can one just close eyes and terminate a relationship like this and start all-afresh?

Please I am still counting on your comments and contributions on this real life issue prayerfully and scripturally. Thanks

[opportunitykenny]

What a good and golden opportunity to have people of help in a life matter that pattains to a future and eternity. This assertion is hinged on the fact that marriage either makes or mars us. I pray that through marriage our lives will not be destroyed.

I quite appreciate sincerely all the people who contributed so far to this topic and discussion. God will be there to help you in time of need.

Of a truth, I am a man who thinks a lot about what will be the lot of sisters who seems not to be attractive but spiritual. And going by the word of God especially as related to Jacob, Issac, Abraham, and others they have wives they all appreciated and admired and in passionate love with.

About these two brethren we are discussing, both the sister and brother are almost over-due for marriage. None of them has ever been married before and they believe that God would give them each a life-partner they will love to live it. But now it is occuring that the sister has seen the will of God and ready to settle for it; the brother also has seen the will of God as said earlier but afraid to settle for it because he does not have love for her as he is not been attracted to her appearance and styles.

The question is this: is it safe for the brother to continue with this situation of NO love, affection and admiration for the sister? Is it all-okay for both to proceed simply because they claimed to be led to eachother? Is it right to simply say that lack of love and admiration means that it is not God's will? If it is God's will, then when is this love and admiration going to erupt? Hope this love eruption is not going to be too late after marriage. Can one just close eyes and terminate a relationship like this and start all-afresh?

Please I am still counting on your comments and contributions on this real life issue prayerfully and scripturally. Thanks

[nebula]

Did everyone overlook the part that both felt like God has brought them together. think upon, Moses refused God said he couldn't give a good speech, Jonah run from God and the people God was wanting him to minister to. Ever been in a church, that you felt like God wanted you there but at first you felt like a fish out of water, but you hung in there and everything worked out?

 

I won't contest that, but the problem here is that they "brother" is not being open and honest with "the sister" about his lack of feeling towards her.

 

If he is able to be open and honest with her that he has no affection and no adoration for her and she still wants to marry him because she believes this is God's will for them, then we have to hope and trust that they are hearing correctly.

 

But if that openness and honesty isn't there, then they are setting themselves up for a world of hurt.

[nebula]

 

Did everyone overlook the part that both felt like God has brought them together. think upon, Moses refused God said he couldn't give a good speech, Jonah run from God and the people God was wanting him to minister to. Ever been in a church, that you felt like God wanted you there but at first you felt like a fish out of water, but you hung in there and everything worked out?

Thank you! I was trying to say this...I have a cousin who met and married a man brought to her by God twenty five years ago. I was at thier wedding...thought it was insane! Her husband actually got up and said to everyone " I am marrying ------ because God brought her to me to be my help meet, not because I love her". And there was more. I was so angry about this loveless union at the time...but wow, to see what God has brought them too now! They are so much in love with each other and God! God came first in thier marriage from the beginning and it shows! Don't ever disobey something that is lead by God ever... Blessing flows from obedience. Tell your friend that! Man knows nothing about love...but God does have a plan

 

As I stated above, the difference here is that this "brother" is not being honest about his lack of love. According to the report, this "brother" does not even admire her. Would you not agree that he should tell her these things before they move forward?