creativemechanic Posted February 13, 2015 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 7 Topic Count: 414 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 1,273 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 518 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/22/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted February 13, 2015 Where do you draw the line between being helpful and going the extra mile as jesus commands and being used? I say this because while i consider myself naturally helpful, my mindset has drastically changed because of incidents i've had with people . Basically. i help and then begin to realise that when people realise you can help will- 1) Expect you to drop what youre doing and do things for them all of the time even thought they could easily do them or ask someone else often whos closer to them. 2) Expect you to give them whatever they want whnever they want even though in doing so they would make you look stupid (women i know make this an art, as in theyll ask you to buy them things that their boyfriend could easily get them but wont bother him with that. Even worse, other women will then try to criticize you if you say no. 3) After doing things for them, instead of seeing you as a helpful person, they see you as a slave to do their bidding and show you less respect that the one who wont do them anytyhing. 4) If youre asked 99 times to do something and say yes, the 1 time you say no, you become selfish and uncaring. Much less then the ones who NEVER say yes. all these experiences have left me pretty reluctant to help such people and paranoid t helping sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enoob57 Posted February 13, 2015 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 35 Topic Count: 100 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 41,234 Content Per Day: 7.98 Reputation: 21,487 Days Won: 76 Joined: 03/13/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/27/1957 Share Posted February 13, 2015 (edited) May your heart grow to the seeing of 'ALL' things are to be done unto The Lord... Then you will find sight that you cannot be used enough by Him Mark 9:35 35 And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all. Mark 10:44-45 44 And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. 45 For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. KJV Love, Steven Edited February 13, 2015 by enoob57 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut- Posted February 13, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 39 Topic Count: 101 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,673 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 7,358 Days Won: 67 Joined: 04/22/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted February 13, 2015 If you are not doing something from the heart, then there really is no benefit in doing it. We should do things for others because we want to, not for any other reason, it really is that simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncn Posted February 13, 2015 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 6 Topic Count: 406 Topics Per Day: 0.09 Content Count: 5,248 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 1,337 Days Won: 67 Joined: 08/07/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted February 13, 2015 If you are not doing something from the heart, then there really is no benefit in doing it. We should do things for others because we want to, not for any other reason, it really is that simple. Amen ! Php 2:3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Mat 25:35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, Luk 10:27 And he answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qnts2 Posted February 13, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 20 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2,875 Content Per Day: 0.71 Reputation: 1,336 Days Won: 9 Joined: 03/13/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted February 13, 2015 I don't know if this will help but... I will tell an experience for someone else. Matthew 5:38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. In Jewish evangelism, there is a group which works very hard to keep the Jewish people from hearing the gospel. They are called 'anti-missionaries'. One technique some have used is to use the NT scriptures against those who want to share the gospel. One very sincere Christian who wanted to share the good news with the Jewish people was out on the street handing out tracts. One cold day, an anti-missionary asked the Christian for his coat to make him look foolish. The Christian handed over his coat, and the anti-missionary laughed and walked away with the coat, leaving the Christian standing there, very very cold, and having to abandon what he was doing. So, the Christian could not continue the good work he was doing because the anti-missionary was using scripture in an unscriptural way to manipulate him to keep him from doing what was right. The anti-missionary had a very nice warm coat and did not need a coat. People who have the gift of helps, I believe are the most serving and effective Christians. I knew a Christian with this gift. It was a quiet gift, barely noticed, except by those who had received much needed help. This brother in the Lord would help people who had real needs, and while helping, would discuss Jesus. He touched many lives and helped to strengthen many believers, as well as being the instrument God used to bring many to Jesus. Helps is a powerful gift and should never be abandoned. However, it is a gift which some will use. We are to be as gentle as doves, but also wise. There are a lot of needs as well as needy people. Just make sure that they do not eat your time, so that what you do help with is where God would have you helping. With a gift of helps, you are in the forefront of the fight. Don't abandon such a precious powerful gift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zemke Posted February 13, 2015 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,028 Content Per Day: 0.23 Reputation: 451 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/24/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted February 13, 2015 We all need help with something at a point so ask them to help you when you need it. That may slow down the activity. If you really don't want their help then be honest and tell them you think you're being taken advantage of and "may God forgive me if I'm being petty" but.................. As I've gotten older the person that is up front about things has become more and more likable and respected. I was mentioning, complaining, about some physical problems one day and a gentleman 25 years my senior smiled and said "getting older ain't for sissies". That was the best advice and council I've gotten about my aches and pains. Our culture is soft and way sensitive. We believers need to be up front, honest and clear. That's love. When was Jesus otherwise.when confronting situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Ask yourself "What would love require of me?" You will find your answer there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willa Posted February 13, 2015 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 68 Topic Count: 186 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 14,244 Content Per Day: 3.33 Reputation: 16,658 Days Won: 30 Joined: 08/14/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted February 13, 2015 We had a next door neighbor who was like that. We have strong winds from the south west and lived at the east bend of the road. On garbage day people would turn loose their large dogs which would knock over the garbage cans and the wind would blow stuff everywhere. We all cleaned our own yards but for our new neighbor who called us everyday for a year to clean their yard, which we did. Meanwhile the man was very abusive toward our kids and cussed them out every time he saw them. Finally after a year of this God told me that He was not being glorified in the situation.. We were being a doormat and that was not what He wanted of us. So after the neighbor threatened to beat up my astonished husband, I was suddenly filled with a holy boldness. I knocked on their door and informed the wife that being a good neighbor goes both ways. We had to put up with the filth and garbage that comes from her husbands mouth, and they will have to deal with the garbage the wind blows into their yard. At that point her husband walked into the room railing on me. I pointed my finger at him and loudly blessed him with Aaron's blessing: The Lord Bless you and keep you, The Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you; the Lord lift up His continance upon you and give you peace. He turned on his heal and retreated, still muttering, while his wife laughed at him. They moved a couple of months later and were divorsing. So I learned that God does not want us continually to be a doormat for a manipulative, abusive person, but He does want us to serve others willingly from a position of power and authority. We had gone the extra mile long enough. It was time to inform them we were not their slaves and that they were being abusive. The only other person I have encountered who exactly fit the OP discription was a woman who did not drive, who would call me to take her shopping. She lived 5 miles away, but I was to drop what I was doing and go. She would add a dozen things to the list that she needed to do, and I would end up spending the day driving her at our expense. She was also not clean and smelled really bad. We ended up in my neighborhood where she wanted to pick up a free kitten a neighbor was giving away. I was asked never to bring her back because the neighbor could not get the offensive odor out of her house. Still, I had compassion on her until the end of the day when I was exhausted and needed to get back to my family. I did this again only once--she found another person to abuse, my best friend, to whom she said something that turned her against me and destroyed our friendship. I continued to try to bless both of them but my efforts were scorned and rejected. I still don't know what was said. But I do agree with the OP. Paul warned against Alexander the Coppersmith who had done him much harm, and also said to avoid a divisive person. Some people will receive neither our love nor God's word. There comes a point when we have to say no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creativemechanic Posted February 13, 2015 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 7 Topic Count: 414 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 1,273 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 518 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/22/2014 Status: Offline Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 Just got a prime example today- a woman at work was trying to get me to buy her something for valentines day. Complicated by the fact that.... 1) shes gotta boyfriend 2)She obviously has no interest in me (a had a really foolish attraction to her which is why she thinks she can manipulate me) 3) The person selling the things she wanted was a friend of hers, who was also trying to pressure me to buy. Making it seem like nothings wrong with buying a gift for an already committed woman who has no interest in you Sigh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petula Posted February 13, 2015 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,499 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 1,665 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/17/2014 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/31/1955 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Creative,Its sad that your beautiful heart ,and your willingness to follow GODS word has been used, The wise worthy members ,who have replied, have given you the answers you need,I believe. I hope your mum,will forgive those who have used you,I'm a mum too and I have been hurt When my children have been used Will be praying for you both, GOD bless you both Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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