JesusIsLove Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 24 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 32 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2015 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 (edited) Hello, I am posting in regards to issues I have with a lonely and overly friendly, elderly female neighbor who lives across the street from me. My family and I lost our home and relocated in September 2013, and are still fairly new to the community in which we reside, and no one really made us feel welcome except her. In fact, the neighbor who lives beside us has been unreasonable with us and others, in many ways. She began by waving and speaking to us in a friendly manner. We did the same. Then, my mother advised me to give her a token of our appreciation during Christmas of 2014. She insisted on inviting me into her home and gave me a tour of each room, family photos and other personal belongings. I did not think this was necessary or appropriate, since we do not know each other that well. But, she is seemingly very lonesome. She explained how her nephew is the only family member she has in town, while the majority of her immediate family resides elsewhere. We ended up exchanging phone numbers, and since she no longer drives, I told her to call me if she needed me for anything. I also told her she would be welcome at my home. She told me the same thing. She began making it her duty to walk over to my home unannounced and uninvited, almost every other weekend. Mostly on Sunday afternoons after church. Each time, she claimed that she was just checking on me and my family to make sure we were okay. Although we exchanged phone numbers, she never opted to call first. I may be wrong, but I feel as if she had an agenda. Once, I invited her into our home because I felt obligated to do so. I have regretted this ever since. She became too friendly and clingy for my comfort level. Each time I stepped outside my door to sweep or do anything related to outdoor work, she would immediately come to her front door or come stand on her front porch and yell, "Hello, how are you doing"? It's almost like she was staring outside her window to see when I come outside. I felt stalked. She seemed to develop a disturbingly inappropriate fixation on me, more than anyone else in my family, or in the neighborhood. I tried waving to her and speaking as friendly as possible, then turning around to continue my work, letting her know I am busy. Then, she would stand and stare at me for a while, then say something else. Soon, she would walk over and stand at the front of my house or driveway, and keep talking to me anyway. It's like she was demanding that I stop what I was doing so I could accommodate her. She did this to me twice, last month. The first time, I waved and spoke friendly to her from a distance, but I was very short with her. That obviously was not good enough for her. She came and stood at the foot of my driveway, and I told her to have a nice day. She had no choice except to walk away feeling disappointed. The second time, I became so annoyed with her, that I gave her the cold shoulder because she seemingly did not want to take the hint that I was not in the mood to talk to her. Especially when she could clearly see I was busy. Not just sweeping. I never said anything disrespectful to her, but my ways and actions spoke volumes about how annoyed and harassed I felt by her. She walked away again, more disappointed than before. I did not want to hurt her feelings or be disrespectful due to her age. However, she made me very uncomfortable, and had become quite a nuisance. I allowed my anger to control me because I was at my wits end with this lady. Although she goes out of her way to say " Hello" to everyone she sees outdoors, I almost feel as if she was fixated on me personally. I did not appreciate this. I am a 37 year old single and heterosexual woman who has a family and other responsibilities. She is a widow in her mid 70's, retired and lives alone. She is not my equal and we have nothing in common. Why couldn't she understand that? Since that encounter, I can tell that her feelings are hurt. She has kept her distance from me and my family and tries not to come outside when I am present. At times, my mother has spotted her sitting on her porch, walking to her mailbox, staring directly at our house. Still she never comes over, or says anything to me when I am outdoors. For that, I am grateful to God, because now I can work outside in peace. Recently, she gave my brother the cold shoulder when he tried to greet her after he came home. Now, it seems as if she is taking her resentment out on him, to get back at me. He has done nothing to her. Since she is known as the friendliest person on our street, she has most likely tried to turn everyone against us. Since they were never friendly to begin with, they surely are not now that this has occurred. I have prayed to The Lord Jesus Christ regarding this incident and have asked him to forgive me for not handling things in a more gentle and Christain-like manner. He has also given me discernment in realizing that this woman obviously has a problem that she is unaware of, and needs prayer. How can a person whom goes to church almost every Sunday and calls themself a Christian, behave in this manner, and think it's okay? A woman her age should see the error of her ways and take responsibility for her actions and try to correct it. Loneliness is not an excuse. Am I right or wrong? (I will only accept and respond to those who present Biblical/Godly advice, not Worldly advice. Going forward, I am only trying to please my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and become a better person. Not worse. Thank you and God Bless All.) Edited April 15, 2015 by JesusIsLove Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 307 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,143 Content Per Day: 4.61 Reputation: 27,836 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 Blessings JesusIsLove...... Welcome to Worthy,.......I am eager to talk with you about this and it is a very good topic but this is only the Worthy Forum & the place where we come to meet,greet & welcome you,,,,,after you have only 5 posts you can begin a thread on any topic you choose & post it in an appropriate forum to begin a discussion ,start a conversation or ask questions,,,,,,,,,,,,you can respond to each welcome & you will very quickly have 5 posts I encourage you to move this to a forum as soon as you have 4 more posts because I am sure this will be an interesting topic for many ,perhaps you can post it in " Am I Alone "with this Struggle or something like "Need Advice"? God Bless you & I am so glad you are here,to God be the Glory With love-in Christ,Kwik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angels4u Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 55 Topic Count: 1,664 Topics Per Day: 0.20 Content Count: 19,764 Content Per Day: 2.38 Reputation: 12,164 Days Won: 28 Joined: 08/22/2001 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 Can you not have short visits with her now and then and tell her that you do have other commitments to keep but if she is so lonely ,can she not just have a cup of tea and then maybe tell her you have things you want to do and you will phone her for a visit when you have time or her? Can you do this as unto the Lord? I can tell you are a very nice and caring lady Maybe God is using you to be nice to her? Would it help if when you see her again,to think about Jesus and what He would want to do through you? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. 41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: 42 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: 43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. 44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? 45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angels4u Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 55 Topic Count: 1,664 Topics Per Day: 0.20 Content Count: 19,764 Content Per Day: 2.38 Reputation: 12,164 Days Won: 28 Joined: 08/22/2001 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 Blessings JesusIsLove...... Welcome to Worthy,.......I am eager to talk with you about this and it is a very good topic but this is only the Worthy Forum & the place where we come to meet,greet & welcome you,,,,,after you have only 5 posts you can begin a thread on any topic you choose & post it in an appropriate forum to begin a discussion ,start a conversation or ask questions,,,,,,,,,,,,you can respond to each welcome & you will very quickly have 5 posts I encourage you to move this to a forum as soon as you have 4 more posts because I am sure this will be an interesting topic for many ,perhaps you can post it in " Am I Alone "with this Struggle or something like "Need Advice"? God Bless you & I am so glad you are here,to God be the Glory With love-in Christ,Kwik Can you not have short visits with her now and then and tell her that you do have other commitments to keep but if she is so lonely ,can she not just have a cup of tea and then maybe tell her you have things you want to do and you will phone her for a visit when you have time or her? Can you do this as unto the Lord? I can tell you are a very nice and caring lady Maybe God is using you to be nice to her? Would it help if when you see her again,to think about Jesus and what He would want to do through you? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. 41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: 42 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: 43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. 44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? 45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. Oops,I forgot when I started reading Jesus is love her post,that this is the welcome section ,maybe we have more conversation after your first 5 posts? And by the way Welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JesusIsLove Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 24 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 32 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2015 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 Thank you for your warm welcome kwickphilly, I look forward to being your sister in Christ. After I have 5 posts, how do I go about moving this topic to another forum? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut- Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 39 Topic Count: 101 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,673 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 7,358 Days Won: 67 Joined: 04/22/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 Welcome to worthy I have an elderly neighbor who is very similar to yours. Every time I am outside mowing or something she will come out and start talking, forcing me to stop doing what I am doing and talk to her. I know she is just lonely, so I try to keep things short and get back to my work. I can relate, and do understand that often this is imposing. I can't speak to why you get a sense of uneasiness regarding this woman since I don't know her. I would say though, you mentioned having told her to call on you if she needs something, so really her stopping by is not uninvited as you left an open invitation. I understand that you would expect a call first, but remember she comes from a different generation that are more accustomed to a personal touch. It really shouldn't be surprising that an older person would prefer face to face discussions instead of using the phone. Just something to consider, God bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 307 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,143 Content Per Day: 4.61 Reputation: 27,836 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 Blessings JesusIsLove I would simply copy & paste it,,,,,,,,,?LOL Just go to the Forum you want(as you did this one),,,,,,click"Start new topic" & then next to your avatar is a littler square icon(silver),,,,click on that & it will allow you to copy/paste & thats it! Praise the Lord! Love,Kwik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JesusIsLove Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 24 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 32 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2015 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 @ angels4u Thank you for your advice, and I sincerely appreciate it. The scripture you gave to support your advice is helpful and it is quite possible that God may have been using me to help my neighbor overcome her loneliness by spending time with her. However, my family and I did try to be as friendly as possible to her but she began overstepping her boundaries. In Proverbs 25:17 it clearly states the following: Proverbs 25:17 Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee. Verse 17. - Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; literally, make thy foot precious, rare; Septuagint, "Bring thy foot sparingly (σπάνιον) into thy friend's house," The proverb seems to be loosely connected with the preceding, as urging moderation. Do not pay too frequent visits to your neighbors' house, or make yourself too much at home there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JesusIsLove Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 24 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 32 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2015 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 @kwickphilly Thank you, I will definitely do that ASAP. God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 307 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,143 Content Per Day: 4.61 Reputation: 27,836 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 Blessings JesusIsLove.... Well it seems everyone is very anxious to join in this topic so if you respond now you can get your 5 posts!!!!!LOL God Bless you also sweet Sister Love,Kwik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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