An open letter to pastors about Mothersday

[The_Patriot21]

weve been in churches that have mothers stand up to, I have no issue with that, and shes never had any objection either, other then a slight bit of embarrasment. she appreciates the gesture, but doesnt like being in the spotlight at the same time, shes the same with with the roses-she wont go get one because shes so shy, but if given to her its the same thing. Whether its standing up-or handing out roses, I don't think its a big deal, and I honestly think if someone is put off by that-that it shows one of two things-either that woman isnt being ministered to properly, or has other issues she needs to deal with.  just my .02 cents.

[Guest LadyC]

i'd still be interested if you'd ask your wife to weigh in on the whole subject. it's ok if you don't ask her, but like i said... sometimes how my husband thinks i feel about something isn't anything like how i really feel.

[The_Patriot21]

I can if it really makes you happy, but i have been married to her long enough to know her, and how she reacts to things. Thing is, though its missing the point. Most mothers, arn't going to be mortally offended if you dont have them stand up or hand them a rose, we don't do it because its what they want-we do it in gratitude and honor for their hard work and sacrifice. Its a way to say thankyou. And to take that away, just because it hurts someone elses feelings just because they dont have kids for whatever reason, isn't right, and its doing it for the wrong reason. Now if mothers on a whole were wholly offended, that would be a different story, but in general, from what Ive seen, thats not the issue-its the minority, that are offended by this, and most arn't even mothers. And it seems selfish, to take away the ability to honor the majority-to please the few. Like I said earlier, its like canceling veterans day parades, because some people are offended by our flag. I understand theyre hurt, but mothers day is not about them, its about mothers. If your hurting, seek help. If you just dont want to take part of it, then don't go to church that day, I don't think Gods going to send you to hell for skipping church one day, but don't take away from what should be a day totally devoted to honoring mothers.

[Guest LadyC]

but that's what i'm saying. a lot of mothers would just as soon NOT have the celebration in church. and i do understand that you've been married long enough to know how your wife thinks. my husband and i have been married 16 years, together 17... and he thinks he knows how i would think too. all i'm saying is that it would be interesting to know (to me) if she really thinks the way you think she thinks.

 

but it's not a big deal. just one of those curiosities. maybe because i want to see if i'm the only one with a husband who thinks he's got me figured out LOL.

 

i don't think it's selfish to want mothers day celebrations in church to be more appropriately handled. some churches do so. but others make a big production of it. and those are the ones, i think, that offend people.

 

i told you about my church in vegas and how they celebrated. my best friend was also (and still is) a member there. over the course of 3 years, she had four miscarriages. and i was right there in the ER holding her hand for three of them. mothers day celebrations at church were absolutely torturous for her. why she even bothered going is beyond me. i sure wouldn't have. the good news for her is that she finally was able to carry to term... and since those four miscarriages has had three beautiful little girls.

 

i think i'll ask her if her feelings on the mothers day service bothers her now the way it used to. it would me, if i were her... but i'm not her, and i don't know. and now i want to know. 

 

guess maybe it's not about me wondering if YOU know your wife's mind as much as you think you do, as it is about me wanting to know if MY thoughts of how other women think are accurate.

[Guest LadyC]

i got the poll working... thanks to george

[The_Patriot21]

but that's what i'm saying. a lot of mothers would just as soon NOT have the celebration in church. and i do understand that you've been married long enough to know how your wife thinks. my husband and i have been married 16 years, together 17... and he thinks he knows how i would think too. all i'm saying is that it would be interesting to know (to me) if she really thinks the way you think she thinks.

 

but it's not a big deal. just one of those curiosities. maybe because i want to see if i'm the only one with a husband who thinks he's got me figured out LOL.

 

i don't think it's selfish to want mothers day celebrations in church to be more appropriately handled. some churches do so. but others make a big production of it. and those are the ones, i think, that offend people.

 

i told you about my church in vegas and how they celebrated. my best friend was also (and still is) a member there. over the course of 3 years, she had four miscarriages. and i was right there in the ER holding her hand for three of them. mothers day celebrations at church were absolutely torturous for her. why she even bothered going is beyond me. i sure wouldn't have. the good news for her is that she finally was able to carry to term... and since those four miscarriages has had three beautiful little girls.

 

i think i'll ask her if her feelings on the mothers day service bothers her now the way it used to. it would me, if i were her... but i'm not her, and i don't know. and now i want to know. 

 

guess maybe it's not about me wondering if YOU know your wife's mind as much as you think you do, as it is about me wanting to know if MY thoughts of how other women think are accurate.

 

I dont know many mothers who wouldn't want it. I know most don't expect it and wouldnt be offended if it wasn't, but, at least where Im at the majority of mothers appreciate it. If the majority of mothers DIDNT like them, and were vehemently opposed to them, I suspect very few churches would do anything at all.

[missmuffet]

I honestly was unaware that honoring mothers on Mother's Day in church was a hurtful or contentious issue.  To me this almost sounds like a jealousy or unresolved issues affair.  If it's simply a 'fairness' or sensitivity issue, I don't know how that can be resolved without ignoring Mother's Day.  There is no mandate for a church to honor Mother's Day, but since it's a reverent and civilized nod toward mothers, I don't see why it's specifically inappropriate or hurtful. 

I understand that women who have not had children are sad about this but they should not deny those who have children.They should actually be happy for them.Now that takes a person who really can look at others in a positive way and be happy for them and does not focus on themself. 

[Hindsfeet]

 Mothers day can also be very hurtful/distressful for those whose Mothers have passed as well, should they also be offended? This is how we ended up with removing the Ten Commandments, because some people were offended. The need to be PC has corrupted every fiber of this nation, everyone must needs get a trophy, hogwash. JMHO

[angels4u]

I can if it really makes you happy, but i have been married to her long enough to know her, and how she reacts to things. Thing is, though its missing the point. Most mothers, arn't going to be mortally offended if you dont have them stand up or hand them a rose, we don't do it because its what they want-we do it in gratitude and honor for their hard work and sacrifice. Its a way to say thankyou. And to take that away, just because it hurts someone elses feelings just because they dont have kids for whatever reason, isn't right, and its doing it for the wrong reason. Now if mothers on a whole were wholly offended, that would be a different story, but in general, from what Ive seen, thats not the issue-its the minority, that are offended by this, and most arn't even mothers. And it seems selfish, to take away the ability to honor the majority-to please the few. Like I said earlier, its like canceling veterans day parades, because some people are offended by our flag. I understand theyre hurt, but mothers day is not about them, its about mothers. If your hurting, seek help. If you just dont want to take part of it, then don't go to church that day, I don't think Gods going to send you to hell for skipping church one day, but don't take away from what should be a day totally devoted to honoring mothers.

Can you ask her ?, I interested in her opinion too and how she feels about it~~~

 

My husband of 40 years thinks he knows me too and often thinks he knows what I think but is often wrong~~ lol

[Guest shiloh357]

Just reading through OP, this lady who wrote the letter has some issues.   There is nothing about honoring mothers at church on Mother's Day that is in any way demeaning or claiming that women who are not mothers are not real women or empty shells.   

 

She has no right to take emotional hostages and demand that churches stop singling out Mothers on Mother's Day just to appease her.   She needs some counseling about this, but this is not healthy on her part.   It really comes off as emotionally manipulative.  And in this case, at the end of the letter, she exhibits the tendencies of a controller:  "Do what I want, or I am picking up my toys and going home."