How do you react when married people flirt with you?

[Littlelambseativy]

As Patriot has said there is a difference in flirting with one you know very well and one whose advances are serious. I flirt with someone who I have known almost my whole life ..since elementary school and know nothing would EVER come of it or his silly comments but certainly put up an icy cold shoulder to others who send red flags to my comfort zone. You need to be secure in yourself before you flirt with someone and know them well enough to anticipate their reactions.

Flirting is flirting.You can not make light of it with anyone if you are married..

According to what you say, you cannot look at another man and say, " that suit really makes him look good'. Or men, " she looks great in that outfit" you have looked at the other in an inappropriate manner.

when I say flirt, there is no sexual connotation...teasing , bantering, cajoling....nothing is inappropriate. You cannot look at another of the opposite sex because you are judging them in a sexual manner. You cannot speak to another for fear of flirting with a friend. 

I am despite what may be construed contrary to what I am referring ..there is nothing other than innocent banter/flirting with this friend. We are both secure in our positions and would NEVER cause harm to the other spouse. The spouse has no fear of the other...old friends since elementary school. Perhaps there is insecurity here for others but not me.

[Littlelambseativy]

As Patriot has said there is a difference in flirting with one you know very well and one whose advances are serious. I flirt with someone who I have known almost my whole life ..since elementary school and know nothing would EVER come of it or his silly comments but certainly put up an icy cold shoulder to others who send red flags to my comfort zone. You need to be secure in yourself before you flirt with someone and know them well enough to anticipate their reactions.

Flirting is flirting.You can not make light of it with anyone if you are married..

According to what you say, you cannot look at another man and say, " that suit really makes him look good'. Or men, " she looks great in that outfit" you have looked at the other in an inappropriate manner.

when I say flirt, there is no sexual connotation...teasing , bantering, cajoling....nothing is inappropriate. You cannot look at another of the opposite sex because you are judging them in a sexual manner. You cannot speak to another for fear of flirting with a friend. 

I am despite what may be construed contrary to what I am referring ..there is nothing other than innocent banter/flirting with this friend. We are both secure in our positions and would NEVER cause harm to the other spouse. The spouse has no fear of the other...old friends since elementary school. Perhaps there is insecurity here for others but not me.

[enoob57]

As Patriot has said there is a difference in flirting with one you know very well and one whose advances are serious. I flirt with someone who I have known almost my whole life ..since elementary school and know nothing would EVER come of it or his silly comments but certainly put up an icy cold shoulder to others who send red flags to my comfort zone. You need to be secure in yourself before you flirt with someone and know them well enough to anticipate their reactions.

Flirting is flirting.You can not make light of it with anyone if you are married..

According to what you say, you cannot look at another man and say, " that suit really makes him look good'. Or men, " she looks great in that outfit" you have looked at the other in an inappropriate manner.

when I say flirt, there is no sexual connotation...teasing , bantering, cajoling....nothing is appropriate. You cannot look at another of the opposite sex because you are judging them in a sexual manner. You cannot speak to another for fear of flirting with a friend. 

I am despite what may be construed contrary to what I am referring ..there is nothing other than innocent banter/flirting with this friend. We are both secure in our positions and would NEVER cause harm to the other spouse. The spouse has no fear of the other...old friends since elementary school. Perhaps there is insecurity here for others but not me.

It is not what you know in your own heart ... it is the appearance to others around that the offense could come.

[Littlelambseativy]

but this is done in the open ...not hidden in the heart. 

[enoob57]

We are not to be an offense to others and flirting is perceived in the outward doing by others around no matter the flirter's heart intent!
You know in your heart it is not wrong but who but God can see the heart- thus to fulfill Scripture's intent. I think this quote says it best

'Let the love of God be it's own motive in all things'

 

 

 

[missmuffet]

As Patriot has said there is a difference in flirting with one you know very well and one whose advances are serious. I flirt with someone who I have known almost my whole life ..since elementary school and know nothing would EVER come of it or his silly comments but certainly put up an icy cold shoulder to others who send red flags to my comfort zone. You need to be secure in yourself before you flirt with someone and know them well enough to anticipate their reactions.

Flirting is flirting.You can not make light of it with anyone if you are married..

According to what you say, you cannot look at another man and say, " that suit really makes him look good'. Or men, " she looks great in that outfit" you have looked at the other in an inappropriate manner.

when I say flirt, there is no sexual connotation...teasing , bantering, cajoling....nothing is inappropriate. You cannot look at another of the opposite sex because you are judging them in a sexual manner. You cannot speak to another for fear of flirting with a friend. 

I am despite what may be construed contrary to what I am referring ..there is nothing other than innocent banter/flirting with this friend. We are both secure in our positions and would NEVER cause harm to the other spouse. The spouse has no fear of the other...old friends since elementary school. Perhaps there is insecurity here for others but not me.

A person has to use good judgment.A married man and a woman can have an innocent intellectual conversation without flirting.There are boundaries.A man and woman who are not married or in a serious relationship can flirt all they want.

Edited November 7, 2015 by bopeep1909

[Dakila777]

How do you feel when someone who is married...flirts with/hits on you? (online or offline)

If a married person hits on you, how do you react? I used to think such things were harmless, but I've seen a few friends of mine lose their marriages over 'harmless' flirtations that turned into full blown affairs before long. People think that affairs start overnight, but they start with flirtations, etc. I've never been married, but thought I'd pose the question here. 

 

Been hit on by both men and women. Both married and not. Does not happen often, but it does happen. Really is uncomfortable when it is a man....

This never really had an effect on me though. Before I come to Christ, I might had entertained a thought or two, but that's all.

Never really had an effect because even then I was already looking for true love... 

[*Deidre*]

How do you feel when someone who is married...flirts with/hits on you? (online or offline)

If a married person hits on you, how do you react? I used to think such things were harmless, but I've seen a few friends of mine lose their marriages over 'harmless' flirtations that turned into full blown affairs before long. People think that affairs start overnight, but they start with flirtations, etc. I've never been married, but thought I'd pose the question here. 

 

Been hit on by both men and women. Both married and not. Does not happen often, but it does happen. Really is uncomfortable when it is a man....

This never really had an effect on me though. Before I come to Christ, I might had entertained a thought or two, but that's all.

Never really had an effect because even then I was already looking for true love... 

aw, that is a nice response.

[missmuffet]

How do you feel when someone who is married...flirts with/hits on you? (online or offline)

If a married person hits on you, how do you react? I used to think such things were harmless, but I've seen a few friends of mine lose their marriages over 'harmless' flirtations that turned into full blown affairs before long. People think that affairs start overnight, but they start with flirtations, etc. I've never been married, but thought I'd pose the question here. 

 

Been hit on by both men and women. Both married and not. Does not happen often, but it does happen. Really is uncomfortable when it is a man....

This never really had an effect on me though. Before I come to Christ, I might had entertained a thought or two, but that's all.

Never really had an effect because even then I was already looking for true love... 

Come over and visit me sometime in the derailing thread Dak 

[*Deidre*]

For the record, the word "flirt" has a definitive meaning as per the dictionary and Flirting is a specific action with a purpose & we can't pretend it doesn't. It isn't just talking.

We can't take a word and place our own meaning on it, that would be complete chaos & confusion. We can't say well when I say the word  "run" what I mean is to  "lean"  on a wall. And when I say "wall" I don't mean wall, as , in "buildings".... I really mean " train" and when I say "train" what I actually mean "elbows " ....

The Dictionary Definition of the word Flirt -  says:  "to act amorously, to play at love, coquet "  Coquet means: to attract the attention of the opposite sex for the purpose of self-gratification; flirt.

Kidding or joking is one thing but a married person paying more attention to someone of the opposite sex is again questionable. If it has a sexual content, connotation, innuendo or under current it is inappropriate imho. Men and women "flirt" to attract the opposite sex and to show their interest, availability, paying flattering attention to the opposite gender.  Usually we can ask ourselves ....would we conduct our self literally the exact same way with someone of the same gender? or a youth? or in front of this person's wife or husband? It's about respect, boundaries and having a higher standard. The Bible says that it does matter how it looks to others also.

 

yes, good points davida. I think that our culture tends to try to convey the message that one should always be looking out for number one, always be looking out for one's happiness...and if you're happy flirting with someone, who cares if it hurts someone else. They just get over it. That tends to be the normal cultural narrative, sadly. 

I'm not a prude, but if a guy I'm dating is flirting with women, when I'm not around, or even in front of me...I won't stand in his way. He can go spend all of his time with them. I'm not one to get upset, I just say bye. lol I realize it's harder for married couples, but a lot of that bad behavior shows up before you marry someone. Idk...