Matthew 18:15-17

[*Zion*]

I have a dear friend who is struggling with her marriage.  Her love has been unrequited since very soon after they wed.  That was around 6 years ago, and I myself saw the difference.  She is wondering about these verses, and wants to know if she can divorce her husband on terms of deliberate emotional neglect.  What does God say about this situation?

They have two young kids, and she feels very much isolated and alone.

Here is the portion of scripture.

 

Matthew 18:15-17:

15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’[a] 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.

[*Zion*]

She does trust Him.  She also feels trapped.  

The least you could do is offer to pray.

[enoob57]

Z if your using this to show spiritual un-equals, as believer and unbeliever, then she would still need to consider these verses ! Cor 7:10-15.
My personal council to her would be for her to set down with The Lord and commune together in this matter where God may allow her
to die to her personal needs to see a more important matter and that being the rescue of the father of her children from hell...
Love, Steven
 

[*Zion*]

He says he's a Christian, but as far as fruits go...

[*Zion*]

Jeff, you have dazzled me with your new depths of callousness.  This section is for those who are struggling.  What do you think she needs if not prayer?  If you came here only to present your opinion then please don't trouble yourself.  People are hurting, and the last thing they need is others rubbing their noses in it.

[JaiDW]

Im not married and never have been...so my opinion may not count.....but is she getting beat? is he continuously cheating on her? Bc those are the only two reasons i know of that can legitimately  even CONSIDER divorce. 

I dont know the full story but it sounds like her love tank is empty? Is it possible to consider spending more time in Gods word about He is truly the Husbandmen and even Head over her husband. Reach out to Him to fill the places where shes dry. At the end of the day her husband cant be love to her he wasnt meant to be thats Jesus's job.

She can tell God to striaghten him out.

Also is it possible for her to read the Five Love Languages of God book. SOMETIMES  we have to sow the very thing we are looking for and even into the person we aren't liking. 

Also consider the fact that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. And we love Him bc He first loved us.

Love is by decision its not a feeling. 1 Cor 13 4-8 says it best

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails.

 Look at each word and phrase they are all choices. 

Now is it possible that her husband was not Gods choice  sure....but we dont want our feelings telling us that. We want God telling us.

In my short service to the Lord I have found that by doing His Word and waiting on His response by two or more witnesses works wonders.

Like Enoob said he may come around to loving Christ more if she did her part in the Word. It happened to Smith Wigglesworth.

And there is freedom in knowing that she can put her foot down and humbly disagree with her husband if he is not putting God as head over the house hold and submit to his decision making all the while telling God to convict his heart. Kennith Hagin talks about  this.

I would actually put my God at His Word and see what He has to say about it.

I also wouldn't be talking much about it with too many people maybe one or two trusted friends who would partner with me prayer as well. To find out what God is truly saying. To many opportunities for the enemy to get  in there causing  confusion. Which God is not the author of.

Then i would purpose in my heart that no matter what I will praise Him and be a doer of His Word towards my husband.

Also i would try talking with Him about it but that may not work and ur still faced with choosing to love him anyway.

I would specifically pray against marriage destroying Spirits like pride contention miscommunication misunderstanding dishonor and other attitudes. Marriage is supposed to be a testimony of how Jesus responds to the church and how the church responds back so protect it with prayer. I would also pray for my husband more than I have been. 

I would repent for anyway that I have contributed to the issue and purpose before God that I  will be the solution and ask Him to keep me accountable. At the end of the day I said vows before God. He would be looking  at my heart and judging me based on my heart response. 

We cant change other people but we can change out responses. SOMETIMES thats how God works on our flesh and molds us to be more like His son.

 

I will pray for her

[Deborah_]

Divorce is a last resort.

It may well be that, after 6 years, all other options have been explored already, but if not, one way of putting Matthew 18:15-17 into practice would be for them to seek marriage counselling.

[JaiDW]

14 minutes ago, simplejeff said:

 

 

Don't you think someone struggling and hurting WOULD LIKE TO BE HEALED?   

You didn't ask for my opinion, or man's opinion, or mankind's opinion.

You did ask what does God say - and that's what I posted directly.

When someone is sinning, or considering sinning - what does God say ?  Simple - no.  Don't sin.

IF they are STRUGGLING , then even more-so - no, don't sin.

IF they are HURTING, and WANT ? to be healed, then also still - no, don't sin.

Then do what God says.  That's ALWAYS the case.  It is written - not guesswork, not any man's opinion.

We always should speak the truth but in love, Correction is important  but it needs the love cushion

[*Zion*]

29 minutes ago, simplejeff said:

 

 

Don't you think someone struggling and hurting WOULD LIKE TO BE HEALED?   

You didn't ask for my opinion, or man's opinion, or mankind's opinion.

You did ask what does God say - and that's what I posted directly.

When someone is sinning, or considering sinning - what does God say ?  Simple - no.  Don't sin.

IF they are STRUGGLING , then even more-so - no, don't sin.

IF they are HURTING, and WANT ? to be healed, then also still - no, don't sin.

Then do what God says.  That's ALWAYS the case.  It is written - not guesswork, not any man's opinion.

Jeff, it's not what you say, it's how.  you may be technically correct but you are not helping at all.  Sorry, but that's the truth.

[*Zion*]

24 minutes ago, JaiDW said:

Im not married and never have been...so my opinion may not count.....but is she getting beat? is he continuously cheating on her? Bc those are the only two reasons i know of that can legitimately  even CONSIDER divorce. 

I dont know the full story but it sounds like her love tank is empty? Is it possible to consider spending more time in Gods word about He is truly the Husbandmen and even Head over her husband. Reach out to Him to fill the places where shes dry. At the end of the day her husband cant be love to her he wasnt meant to be thats Jesus's job.

She can tell God to striaghten him out.

Also is it possible for her to read the Five Love Languages of God book. SOMETIMES  we have to sow the very thing we are looking for and even into the person we aren't liking. 

Also consider the fact that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. And we love Him bc He first loved us.

Love is by decision its not a feeling. 1 Cor 13 4-8 says it best

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails.

 Look at each word and phrase they are all choices. 

Now is it possible that her husband was not Gods choice  sure....but we dont want our feelings telling us that. We want God telling us.

In my short service to the Lord I have found that by doing His Word and waiting on His response by two or more witnesses works wonders.

Like Enoob said he may come around to loving Christ more if she did her part in the Word. It happened to Smith Wigglesworth.

And there is freedom in knowing that she can put her foot down and humbly disagree with her husband if he is not putting God as head over the house hold and submit to his decision making all the while telling God to convict his heart. Kennith Hagin talks about  this.

I would actually put my God at His Word and see what He has to say about it.

I also wouldn't be talking much about it with too many people maybe one or two trusted friends who would partner with me prayer as well. To find out what God is truly saying. To many opportunities for the enemy to get  in there causing  confusion. Which God is not the author of.

Then i would purpose in my heart that no matter what I will praise Him and be a doer of His Word towards my husband.

Also i would try talking with Him about it but that may not work and ur still faced with choosing to love him anyway.

I would specifically pray against marriage destroying Spirits like pride contention miscommunication misunderstanding dishonor and other attitudes. Marriage is supposed to be a testimony of how Jesus responds to the church and how the church responds back so protect it with prayer. I would also pray for my husband more than I have been. 

I would repent for anyway that I have contributed to the issue and purpose before God that I  will be the solution and ask Him to keep me accountable. At the end of the day I said vows before God. He would be looking  at my heart and judging me based on my heart response. 

We cant change other people but we can change out responses. SOMETIMES thats how God works on our flesh and molds us to be more like His son.

 

I will pray for her

Then you'd be doing exactly what she has for 6+ yrs.  But thanks for your replies and your prayers.