Married women and their money

[missmuffet]

Some men control with their money.

[missmuffet]

2 minutes ago, Gary Lee said:

When my wife and I started having children, we were young believers, both working. We decided that our children would be raised by their parents. We accepted the fact that as a one income family, our lifestyles would be changed, but, taken care of by our new found dependence upon God. We used the cookie jar principal. All money went in the cookie jar. When no money was in the jar, we did without. We upgraded to the envelope system. It was simple, as my wife was good at managing the envelops and I was better at filling them. There was never any discussion about who did what, as we both eased into our roles. As a married woman, my wife (and I ) always considered the money as God's, and we were His stewards.  Yes, it took some time to realize and implement this, but when the times were lean, we learned to come close to God. Those were the lean years, but the best years for growth.

Gary Lee

In Him Who is

Semper Fidelis

Sounds like a very good system.

[Heavenunlimited]

I think its important to let both have a realistic sum to do with whatever they like, and not to make it too tight as no fun anymore. After what one can afford. But i cant see anything wrong with having it all together, each access to each, but still have your own. Its not any difference.  Also, after what one can afford there should be the freedom to be spontaneous, if you see something or need something to be able to get it if you can afford it not have your freedom taken away.  As long things get paid, food everything should be freedom. For both.  I wouldnt be bothered, food is there, money is there, savings there, and he say i got this bike it cost me... I would just go hey nice bike! Im happy you found something! It could just as well been me. Now thats love.  

[Heavenunlimited]

Also one important aspect, now marriages are to last but one bever knows the future, people change or, there might be an accident or something else that require both have own account. So of that ground because everything goes by accounts you cant do anything youre very bound if you dont have your own, on that reason i mean both have own account and access to each. Just now take myself as an example. I didnt renew my passport its run out. I was encouraged by my friend not to as we needed the money. Because i didnt, i couldnt get my own bank account but had to use his. Now thats not really what you should do, but no choice. I couldnt even get a co bank account because of it. And more of the same, cant get my own phone, cant sign up for gym nothing. And now, hes changed and been cruel and alot of issues, leaving me veryy vulnerable. I cant get anything! So i first now sorting my passport and following account and phone etc. its very humiliating and i can only thank my luck i still live here so i didnt got into big trouble. Yes i have work.  So for things like this or anything that might happen, you are basically handicapped if you dont have an own account too. 

[*Deidre*]

I'm getting married this May, and we have discussed this a little. I believe that one joint account is fine, with an understanding of a budget. I don't believe anyone should be controlling the finances. 

[*Deidre*]

2 hours ago, Gary Lee said:

When my wife and I started having children, we were young believers, both working. We decided that our children would be raised by their parents. We accepted the fact that as a one income family, our lifestyles would be changed, but, taken care of by our new found dependence upon God. We used the cookie jar principal. All money went in the cookie jar. When no money was in the jar, we did without. We upgraded to the envelope system. It was simple, as my wife was good at managing the envelops and I was better at filling them. There was never any discussion about who did what, as we both eased into our roles. As a married woman, my wife (and I ) always considered the money as God's, and we were His stewards.  Yes, it took some time to realize and implement this, but when the times were lean, we learned to come close to God. Those were the lean years, but the best years for growth.

Gary Lee

In Him Who is

Semper Fidelis

This is beautiful, really well said. 

[Heavenunlimited]

Congratulations to your coming marriage may you have many happy years forever  

i have seen how not have any control at all makes it all chaos, but i have also seen how no freedom, micromanaging and such kills the joy, the relation and the spirit. Therefore i go in for letting each be free, but with responsibility. However its not the other parts job to control if they are, but you work together. Like, huge buys we talk about but as long bills and food is there lets be free. Or also plans savings etc. but out over that. Freedom foster love. 

Edited January 31, 2017 by Heavenunlimited

[Leonardo Von]

On 1/30/2017 at 9:20 PM, *Deidre* said:

I don't believe anyone should be controlling the finances. 

Dear sister Deidre,

 

Grace and mercy and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Forgive me, sister, but I disagree with you.

See what the Holy Scripture says:

 

·        “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” (1 Peter 3. 7)

·        “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” (Matthew 19.3-8).

·        “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

 

Note how the covenant of the Eternal is made with the man and the woman enters as the idoneous helper of man. Consider also what Paul says:

 

·        “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11.3).

 

In this way who controls, not only the finances, but the home is Christ using the life of the husband. The woman enters helping husband in what Jesus proposed to him.

Whether the woman likes it or not, the head of the home is her husband. What a woman can do, before marrying, is to check what there is in the mind of the future husband. If his ideas are consistent with what Christ wants for the home, surely submission will be a blessing and whatever a woman does will contribute to the glory of the Eternal's kingdom and so that all will find their true satisfaction in Christ.

In addition, the woman should pray to see if she was made for the person she is about to marry, and, if Jesus confirms this, all that remains is to accept and trust the Jesus will fulfill all His good, pleasing and perfect Will at home (Romans 12.2).

May Jesus help us not to let ourselves be guided by our way of seeing and understanding things. Instead, that we may let Jesus work within both to will and to do of his good pleasure (Philippians 2: 12-13).

[Kindle]

5 hours ago, Leonardo Von said:

  “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” (1 Pedro 3. 7)

Did you mean peter?

[Leonardo Von]

16 hours ago, worthy said:

Did you mean peter?

Right. Thank you for your help. May Jesus continue to bless you.