Married women and their money

[missmuffet]

4 hours ago, Neighbor said:

Hmm, don't know  what is good, bad,  nor what works for others- as for me I was tarzan. I went out and killed meat,  and brought it back to the cave. Spouse prepared it and we ate. She did all the books of our marriage and that was fine with me. For 48 years I never had to look at my paycheck nor income sources at all.

When she became so ill she tried to encourage me to get involved. I didn't. She said I was going to be a mess.  I was. For five years it was a struggle each month to handle my finances. And I really didn't much care.

Now I have a new Bride. We are older though she is  over a decade younger than me. And we have had to organize like I never had to before. Yes antenuptial agreement and all that-  for both our sakes!

 I have my accounts, she has hers. I have my reserves, she has hers. BUT, there is one additional thing- She is my bride my reasonability and so all that is needed, desired , in our marriage  or for either of us is from my earnings, hers is not to be touched, for I want that security  for my bride. We both do the books together. A new experience for both of us.

I suspect the time of life for each couple makes for very different solutions to financial systems and problem solving.

Interesting arrangement you have.

[Heavenunlimited]

Isnt that to love the other like yourself?

[Constian]

On ‎9‎/‎3‎/‎2016 at 5:46 PM, Ezra said:

That's it.  Anything else means it is not a marriage.

I agree with you. There is no "yours" and "mine" in a good marriage IMO. That can foster nothing but resentment.

[Heavenunlimited]

How can a own bank account with own money be separation when both got access to each and still uses it as one?  In these times you cannot do anything barely buy a bus ticket without your own account, in your name as everything else is considered fraud. You cant buy something and for whatever reason return it if you have no bank card in your name, thats considered fraud.  You cant shop online, you cant pay with a card not yours heaven forbid they discover it. You cant have menberships that demand standing orders. You cant make agreements. You cant even rent.  Practically you cant do anything.  You cant even build  your credit so in case of emergencies or even divorce you have nothing.  You cant even insure your pet as they demand standing orders or, card in your name.  When and not if enwrgency strikes you cant do anything.  To deny and prevent these things are not to love the other like yourself.  Theres nothing wrong having one joint account and one to yourself because of these things. Life is not what it has been and everything is done with card and scores. 

[Heavenunlimited]

Who in their right mind will deny the other their own bank account with money??? Thats abuse. In these days you cant live without it. 

[Heavenunlimited]

8 hours ago, Constian said:

I agree with you. There is no "yours" and "mine" in a good marriage IMO. That can foster nothing but resentment.

Theres no problem with yours and mine when both have access to each private accounts. Theres no difference but youre safeguarding yourself in case something happens, or so you can live and do the stuff  just mentioned.  

Lets just take me as an example.  Before I came back to The Lord, my friend and me lived as one I had no bank account and no money of my own. Also when I was working my money went in to his. I couldnt insure my pet, it had to be with a card in my own name.  I had to be nervous everytime I bought something as it wasnt my card or if i needed to return something, sometimes it nearly went bad. Then the police wouldve arrested me. I couldnt get a contract for either phone or rentals as i needed a card and own money. If something wouldve happened to him i wouldve had no chance in even buying food or rent. I couldnt build a credit score either.  Oh, all in the name of oneness, right?!  ABUSE.  To not enable to make it on your own, to buy and do, is abuse. Thats not oneness.  Joint account? If the things are seen to so all not just one have these freedoms. Otherwise its still abuse. 

[Neighbor]

However there is a theirs. Allow me to explain by example:

 My aunt a nice enough old lady without assets of any kind and a healthy appetite for the grape was given a $100 by my father to go ask a mutual life long friend on a date. The friend being a old retired affluent insurance broker well known across the entire region. she did,- he did too  and they soon very happily married. He not making any new arrangements for his estate died. She being his spouse got his estate, and she made a proper plan and will died, passing it  (His assets) on to her children not his. Oops for them. She also greatly favored one child of hers over another for one was poorer than the other.

Talk about resentment all around.

Mature individuals with assets had better make much discussion with their prospective mates fill out all th eforms of governmenr and estates before they tie any knot less it is going to be a hangman's noose before the wedding takes place.

Seems to me that it is hard to resent what one steps into having had full discussion and documentation  on, but there is ample opportunity  for horrible family discord if that is not fully worked out prior to marriage, and long prior at that so there is no sense of  nor later claim of duress.

[*Deidre*]

On 2/17/2017 at 7:27 AM, Leonardo Von said:

Dear sister Deidre,

 

 

 

Grace and mercy and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

 

 

 

 

I agree with this you said. Paul make this very plain:

 

 

 

·        “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5.25-27).

 

 

 

 

About this you said, you really believe that this may happen if you leave Jesus take you up to the individual who He prepared especially for you? Beloved sister, with all love in Christ I incentive you to believe and live the following excerpt of the Holy Scripture:

 

 

 

·        “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Romans 12.2).

 

 

 

Let's think:

 

 

 

·        “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” (Matthew 7.11).

 

·        “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” (Luke 11.13).

 

 

 

A true father will want something bad for children? Therefore, you can believe:

 

 

 

 

 

·        “The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing.” (Psalms 34.10).

 

 

 

The Eternal don’t give trush for their children. If you let Jesus take total leadership of your life (including of your finance), can submit whole to your husband, without fear (as it orders the Holy Scripture – 1Cor 14.34):

 

 

 

·        “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” (Ephesians 5.24).

 

·        “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” (Colossians 3.18).

 

 

 

After all, What God is this that would go to ordain us something bad for us? Fights, of course, always will there be (Matthew 7.24-27; John 16.33; 1Coríntios 2.12-15), but in all of them we are already more than conquerors (Romans 8.37) if we give place to Jesus act (through our confidence in Him and in His Word):

 

 

 

·        “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; and having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.” (2Corinthians 10.3-6).

 

 

 

May Jesus help us to trust in Him more and more and in all He has for us.

 

Thank you for this, I appreciate it.