aint it funny when christians do this

[StanJ]

2 hours ago, creativemechanic said:

Yep.. We had a debate on if a christian should have an unsaved best friend and this verse hints to that.

That's a different issue, because friends are not yoked and the Bible says that Jesus was a friend to sinners, in Matthew 11:19 and Luke 7:34. Also there is 1 Corinthians 7:13-15. 

[creativemechanic]

Best friend. Not general friends. Think about it, yr best friend is the one u go to for advice, encouragement and  confides in. IMO,an unsaved person would  not be the best fit for that

[RustyAngeL]

On 11/28/2016 at 3:39 PM, Rare Bird said:

What I find just as irresponsible is when pastors marry believers who have only known each other for a short time (i.e., less than a year), lest the betrothed couple gets "ruttish" and fall into sin. Just because you are a Christian, does NOT make married life palpable either, as personality dynamics and disorders run the gamut even among those who profess Christ as Savior; and until someone can see behavioral patterns in a potential life partner/helper in all manners of experience and how they respond to it--whether it be in spending habits, hard times, stressful situations--one would do well to avoid marrying, just because the oxytocin is coursing through the neural network of the brain.

I've heard of too many emotionally manipulative relationships by those who are believers, and it makes me realize how important it is to have boundaries and pay attention to--and address--red flags before scheduling the nuptials, so the "I dos" don't turn into "I wish I never..." and be unhappily married for the rest of your days. Too many crazies out there. In and out of the church.

 

I married my husband after only three months, what is your point? and may I ask are you married and if so was it 25 years like myself?  and marrying him only after three months does that make me a crazy?  Just asking.

Blessings, RustyAngeL

[StanJ]

5 hours ago, creativemechanic said:

Best friend. Not general friends. Think about it, yr best friend is the one u go to for advice, encouragement and  confides in. IMO,an unsaved person would  not be the best fit for that

 I agree and I have never really seen a True Believer and an unbeliever as best friends.

[creativemechanic]

29 minutes ago, eileenhat said:

God cbutishes us even in our knowinglyf imperfection (our fallen state).

Marriage is therefore imperfect as well.

The only state of marriage that renders his judgement would be abusive relationships then (re: 'inequality in marriage' ).

https://www.openbible.info/topics/marrying_a_non_christian

Quote:

1 Corinthians 7:12-14 ESV

To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

Thats a marriage where ac person got saved after the wedding. Were talking about a christian knowingly dating an unsaved person. 2 similar buy different situations

[Rare Bird]

On 11/28/2016 at 5:11 PM, Out of the Shadows said:

My wife and I were married well less than one year after we met, and lived in different states till we got married and we are going on more than 2 decades of marriage and have never been stronger together.  Knowing someone longer has no correlation in a lasting, happy marriage. 

You are an exception to the rule. Perhaps when you were married, times were different than of late. Who knows...Some get lucky I guess, and some are indeed God-directed. Nonetheless, the thread topic seemed to be an Op-Ed and I simply stated my opinions based on what I've often seen happen to those who marry in haste. 

[Rare Bird]

2 hours ago, RustyAngeL said:

I married my husband after only three months, what is your point? and may I ask are you married and if so was it 25 years like myself?  and marrying him only after three months does that make me a crazy?  Just asking.

Blessings, RustyAngeL

It was merely an observation that I was stating in a public op-ed thread. What you choose to do with information that you take offense to is entirely your drama, not mine, and I make no apologies, nor wish you any ill will. It is—and remains—my position on this particular matter, and it is highly unlikely that you, or anyone for that matter, will ever change it. So what was your point in trying to refute it?

 

Based on the demeanor of your response, which is from a defensive position and also demonstrates intent to gaslight me by posing extraneous questions about my personal life (which frankly is none of your business, btw), you may want to do some soul searching to find out what triggered you to act upon such fear-based thoughts/emotions with an unsolicited and contemptuous response, rather than debate ad nauseam about why you feel the need to justify yourself with little ol’ me.

 

P.S. 25 years?! Now I can sleep well tonight. I truly hope the quality was/is as good as the quantity.

[StanJ]

3 hours ago, RustyAngeL said:

I married my husband after only three months, what is your point? and may I ask are you married and if so was it 25 years like myself?  and marrying him only after three months does that make me a crazy?  Just asking.

Blessings, RustyAngeL

Mine was about four or five months but sadly it only lasted 23 years and then she walked out. Hindsight does not give me any better perspective on whether or not we should have waited longer and with 4 wonderful kids as a result of our marriage, I can't really say it was a mistake at that point.  Being self-absorbed is a problem with many people, regardless of whether they are a Christian or not. She was always looking for perfection in our relationship and just couldn't handle the fact that we are imperfect human beings. 

[RustyAngeL]

5 hours ago, eileenhat said:

God cherishes us even in our state of imperfection (our fallen state).

Marriage is therefore imperfect as well.

The only state of marriage that renders his judgement would be abusive relationships then (re: 'inequality in marriage' ).

https://www.openbible.info/topics/marrying_a_non_christian

Quote:

1 Corinthians 7:12-14 ESV

To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

Hey Eileen, haven't seen you for awhile, happy to hear from you again.

[Running Gator]

11 hours ago, Rare Bird said:

You are an exception to the rule. Perhaps when you were married, times were different than of late. Who knows...Some get lucky I guess, and some are indeed God-directed. Nonetheless, the thread topic seemed to be an Op-Ed and I simply stated my opinions based on what I've often seen happen to those who marry in haste. 

I do not believe I am the exception to the rule, I have never seen any data that correlates a longer "courting" period with a successful marriage.  I think this is why a few of us took exception with the idea that pastors are "irresponsible" for marrying us after a short time. 

In my opinion there are only two keys to a happy, successful marriage.  The first is God, the second is two people committed to God and each other.   Over the course of multiple decades there have been lots of highs and lots of lows, and nothing we could have experienced while "getting to know each other" prior to marriage could have prepared us for them as they would have been impossible to replicate prior to marriage.

Marriages do not fail because people didn't know each other long enough, they fail because either one or both people choose to quit trying.