Guy I like won't even say hi

[jashley]

There's this guy that I have known for 16 years since middle school and we have been in different church groups together and recently I had some dreams about being with him romantically. I haven't had dreams like that about him until a month ago. Over the last seven months I have been involved in 2 different church groups with him where we see each other twice a week, and before that we hadn't seen each other in years since I went to his Baptist Church in high school. I'm starting to kind of have feelings for him which is weird to me because I have never felt that way about him before. But alot of the time he doesn't show much interest in talking to me and a lot of times says hi in a short tone or barely at all and hardly talks to me, whereas he talks a lot to the other girls. So I don't know if he likes me or what the deal is, why he acts like this towards me.
Last night I tried to say hi to him several times and all he did was glance at me and wave, didnt say hi back. And kept ignoring me, while he was talking to the other girls. And I overheard him making plans with a girl to go out and giving her his number! Omg and then he and a friend were talking and he mentioned this guy who hasnt been in awhile and so I asked where has he been why isnt he here tonight and he said you seem very interested in him, do you like him? I said no, and he said is there anyone you like and I said yes, and he asked who, do I know him?. Um what? I didnt know what to say so I said maybe, and he said does he know you like him and I said I doubt it so he said you should tell him. Why would I do that when he doesnt even say hi and barely acknowledges me and makes plans to go out with another girl? And then when he was leaving I said bye and he said bye in a short tone and I said it was nice to see you, and he just looked down with a weirded out look on his face. why?

[Heavenunlimited]

Write him a note

[Neighbor]

Hi, Sorry for your dilemma,

Haven't a clue what if anything you should or can do. So no real "advice" from here, just empathy, as many go through such  pangs in life, perhaps all life long.

Never know what God has  in mind for us! Sometimes it is best to let Him lead. Guess my advice is pray first, pray second, and think, then pray again. Let God lead. And may God bless.

[Jewels7]

1 hour ago, jashley said:

There's this guy that I have known for 16 years since middle school and we have been in different church groups together and recently I had some dreams about being with him romantically. I haven't had dreams like that about him until a month ago. Over the last seven months I have been involved in 2 different church groups with him where we see each other twice a week, and before that we hadn't seen each other in years since I went to his Baptist Church in high school. I'm starting to kind of have feelings for him which is weird to me because I have never felt that way about him before. But alot of the time he doesn't show much interest in talking to me and a lot of times says hi in a short tone or barely at all and hardly talks to me, whereas he talks a lot to the other girls. So I don't know if he likes me or what the deal is, why he acts like this towards me.
Last night I tried to say hi to him several times and all he did was glance at me and wave, didnt say hi back. And kept ignoring me, while he was talking to the other girls. And I overheard him making plans with a girl to go out and giving her his number! Omg and then he and a friend were talking and he mentioned this guy who hasnt been in awhile and so I asked where has he been why isnt he here tonight and he said you seem very interested in him, do you like him? I said no, and he said is there anyone you like and I said yes, and he asked who, do I know him?. Um what? I didnt know what to say so I said maybe, and he said does he know you like him and I said I doubt it so he said you should tell him. Why would I do that when he doesnt even say hi and barely acknowledges me and makes plans to go out with another girl? And then when he was leaving I said bye and he said bye in a short tone and I said it was nice to see you, and he just looked down with a weirded out look on his face. why?

Don't worry about it. I'd suggest you back away and stop the pursuit. If this guy has reciprocal feelings for you he'll make the next move. Maybe he's shy about approaching you that way. What you could do is ask him to a drink. Coffee or something. See how that takes hold. If he blows that off he's just not that in to you. 
Move on. Dreams don't mean anything. Let God work it out as planned.   Somewhere there is the perfect one for you. Often times they appear when you're not looking. Or working to get their attention. 

[Ezra]

4 hours ago, jashley said:

But alot of the time he doesn't show much interest in talking to me and a lot of times says hi in a short tone or barely at all and hardly talks to me, whereas he talks a lot to the other girls. So I don't know if he likes me or what the deal is, why he acts like this towards me.

He's probably scared of you, or his feelings for you.  So the way to handle this is to tell him that you want to have a chat with him privately over coffee, then confront him about his attitude.  Ask him point blank if there is a problem, then take it from there.  If there is no problem, then you will know that this guy is simply trying to avoid the inevitable.

[HisFirst]

His Jashley,

Just on what you have written, I can't see any spark between the two of you, (I'm sorry)  although you are hoping for something more. I get that. Everyone has been in that situation where its all one sided (unless you have met that special someone right off the bat).

Most guys ( I know, not all) will let you know they are interested, if they are sincere.

I hope I have helped.

[Jewels7]

On 2/26/2017 at 3:00 PM, Ezra said:

He's probably scared of you, or his feelings for you.  So the way to handle this is to tell him that you want to have a chat with him privately over coffee, then confront him about his attitude.  Ask him point blank if there is a problem, then take it from there.  If there is no problem, then you will know that this guy is simply trying to avoid the inevitable.

That's true too. Just be open. Life's short. Playing games wastes time. If you're interested in him and you've known him awhile he should know you enough to appreciate your directness. Ask him to tea, tell him how you feel and ask him what he thinks. You'll know what's up by the end of that meeting. 

Take that as truth and make your next decision.  

[missmuffet]

On 2/26/2017 at 7:09 AM, jashley said:

There's this guy that I have known for 16 years since middle school and we have been in different church groups together and recently I had some dreams about being with him romantically. I haven't had dreams like that about him until a month ago. Over the last seven months I have been involved in 2 different church groups with him where we see each other twice a week, and before that we hadn't seen each other in years since I went to his Baptist Church in high school. I'm starting to kind of have feelings for him which is weird to me because I have never felt that way about him before. But alot of the time he doesn't show much interest in talking to me and a lot of times says hi in a short tone or barely at all and hardly talks to me, whereas he talks a lot to the other girls. So I don't know if he likes me or what the deal is, why he acts like this towards me.
Last night I tried to say hi to him several times and all he did was glance at me and wave, didnt say hi back. And kept ignoring me, while he was talking to the other girls. And I overheard him making plans with a girl to go out and giving her his number! Omg and then he and a friend were talking and he mentioned this guy who hasnt been in awhile and so I asked where has he been why isnt he here tonight and he said you seem very interested in him, do you like him? I said no, and he said is there anyone you like and I said yes, and he asked who, do I know him?. Um what? I didnt know what to say so I said maybe, and he said does he know you like him and I said I doubt it so he said you should tell him. Why would I do that when he doesnt even say hi and barely acknowledges me and makes plans to go out with another girl? And then when he was leaving I said bye and he said bye in a short tone and I said it was nice to see you, and he just looked down with a weirded out look on his face. why?

If he is not interested then you need to go else where. Pray to God about your feelings.

[Ezra]

1 minute ago, missmuffet said:

If he is not interested then you need to go else where. Pray to God about your feelings.

No, that is not sound advice.  People can pretend indifference while they are interested all the time.  Some people fear their own feelings, some men and women are unable to handle a relationship, some people are too self-centered, and there could be a host of other reasons.  One needs to get to the heart of the matter by directly confronting others (not aggressively but frankly). Prayer is necessary, but so is action.

[HisFirst]

34 minutes ago, Ezra said:

No, that is not sound advice.  People can pretend indifference while they are interested all the time.  Some people fear their own feelings, some men and women are unable to handle a relationship, some people are too self-centered, and there could be a host of other reasons.  One needs to get to the heart of the matter by directly confronting others (not aggressively but frankly). Prayer is necessary, but so is action.

Hi Ezra,

I wouldn't approach a person about a potential romantic  issue unless I could sense a spark. Wishful thinking just leaves you with egg on your face.

Even if a guy is shy, there would still be indicators that he is interested.

Edited February 28, 2017 by HisFirst