Question

I'm 18 and I've been in a almost perfect relationship. He treated me like a queen and I treated him like a king. I was so happy and people would "envy" us bc we were "perfect." His past and how he was raised is very different and difficult to explain just say it's hard and not normal. He got responsibilities at an early age and learned how to stick up for himself and the people he loves. My case my parents are SUPER strict. Primarily my dad. Now i know people always think he's evil bc he doesn't let me have close friends, go to others houses not even family members, parties, hang out, sports, and fully express myself...but I know he does it out of very good intentions. I love my dad but I love this man, Jose. We broke up twice bc he felt he was pressured by my situation to be fully settled and that made him feel like he has to go right into commitment in order to be with me and he's not ready to settle a family. Since his childhood is bad he says he doesn't want his family he builds to go through the same. I know he still loves me bc he still proves to be loyal and he's still trying to better himself and bring himself up when once before his family had told me he wasn't like that before he met me. My question is, should I move out in order to be happy with him and just have the opportunity to hug him and let him know I'm there to lean on and help and love and take away the stress and pressures? He's really really down right now bc he's not able to see me and not situated and "good enough" for my dad so it's hard for me to tell him not to worry. I feel like God has confirmed he's the one for me bc he opened my eyes to recognize his loyalty to me even have not been together. I love my dad I really do and I don't want him sad or to think he didn't do a good job as a dad. He's difficult to talk to and he doesn't even know about me and Jose. But I also really really love Jose and don't want him sad either or think he's not good enough. I'm 18 and he's 19. Im really not that happy being home and a block away is the love of my life sad and I can't do nothing about it. I get mixed messages of wether or not I should move out, not only for him but for myself as well bc I'm not happy here and I feel I can be more in the outside world. What should I do?

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Blessings slenderuniverse

  Welcome to Worthy-I sent you some posting info to help you to get an introduction started & a description of our Sections/Forums   The Q & A is not a Discussion Forum & I imagine this is something you may want to talk about

   Hmm,I'm not sure what this has to do with Christianity as far as your concerned,sou9nds like a "Dear Abby" question to me-little to do with your Faith but I will tell you it should have EVERYTHING to do with your Faith    I'm not going to assume you are a Chr6istian simply because you say you believe God is showing you t7his is the guy for you?

   The love of your life needs to be God in Christ....because you are not "happy" at home or because you have fallen head over heels for some guy are both very very wrong reasons to move out   I wouldn't be so sure that God is going to "confirm" that someone who seems to be looking for someone to "lean on " etc,,etc,,, is t7he right one & "Loyalty" has little or rather nothing to do with Godliness

    I) suspect that if your Dad doesn't believe this is a good fit for you then he may know much better than you at the ripe old age of 18.....If this "relionship" was so "perfect" then I get the feeling  you could talk to your parents about it   You say you know your Dad has good intentions,he should,,,you are his little girl    I think you need to work some things out at home,focus on your Relationship with Jesus and then you can become a complete & whole person.....a complete & whole person in Christ Jesus & another complete & whole person in Jesus i0s the Perfect Godly Relationship.....not 2 halves that are incomplete& need to or want to fix one another

   I don't mean this in a bad way but you sound quite immature,you are not meant to be mature yet either,not at 18 & still living at home......I do hope you will read my posting info in PM so you can get started,post a THread in a Discussion Forum & we can talk about this & see WHO Jesus is to you.....that is where LOVE begins & will lead you to a LIfe More Abundant   (Perhaps you need to talk to Dad,you say its difficult but maturity will come from there,,,,,you want t7o be treated like an adult,right? Then you must act like one.....talk to Dad)                     With love-in Christ,Kwik

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On 7/3/2017 at 9:01 PM, Slenderuniverse said:

I'm 18 and I've been in a almost perfect relationship. He treated me like a queen and I treated him like a king. I was so happy and people would "envy" us bc we were "perfect." His past and how he was raised is very different and difficult to explain just say it's hard and not normal. He got responsibilities at an early age and learned how to stick up for himself and the people he loves. My case my parents are SUPER strict. Primarily my dad. Now i know people always think he's evil bc he doesn't let me have close friends, go to others houses not even family members, parties, hang out, sports, and fully express myself...but I know he does it out of very good intentions. I love my dad but I love this man, Jose. We broke up twice bc he felt he was pressured by my situation to be fully settled and that made him feel like he has to go right into commitment in order to be with me and he's not ready to settle a family. Since his childhood is bad he says he doesn't want his family he builds to go through the same. I know he still loves me bc he still proves to be loyal and he's still trying to better himself and bring himself up when once before his family had told me he wasn't like that before he met me. My question is, should I move out in order to be happy with him and just have the opportunity to hug him and let him know I'm there to lean on and help and love and take away the stress and pressures? He's really really down right now bc he's not able to see me and not situated and "good enough" for my dad so it's hard for me to tell him not to worry. I feel like God has confirmed he's the one for me bc he opened my eyes to recognize his loyalty to me even have not been together. I love my dad I really do and I don't want him sad or to think he didn't do a good job as a dad. He's difficult to talk to and he doesn't even know about me and Jose. But I also really really love Jose and don't want him sad either or think he's not good enough. I'm 18 and he's 19. Im really not that happy being home and a block away is the love of my life sad and I can't do nothing about it. I get mixed messages of wether or not I should move out, not only for him but for myself as well bc I'm not happy here and I feel I can be more in the outside world. What should I do?

Only you know the answers.

My father-in-law and mother-in-law both came from childhood situations where their fathers abandoned the family.

They chartered a course in marriage and in child rearing to oppose their childhoods and they did a fantastic job! I could give example after example of the wonderful childhood my beloved wife and her baby sister had growing up. Her mother, like a second mother to me, I gladly took into my home the last nine years of her life. Her father passed before we met. 

Your Jose sounds like he is cut from the same cloth as them.

Balance these things with the fact that your father loves his little girl (and that's what you will be to him til the day he dies). And he wants to protect and provide and see that you get what's best for you. He may not be completely totally right (correct) in every situation... he's only human and he has no idea what the future will bring (none of us do)... and his love for his little girl (like Mama's love for her little boy) sometimes clouds the estimation as to who is good enough for their little boy or girl.

Love them for this.

But make your own decisions.

Remember also!

You are only 18.

The older you get the more you will cringe at the way you once thought you knew it all or enough to make permanent decisions at earlier ages. 

God is good and kept me from myself many a time. But sometimes we must endure stupid choice. So bear all this in mind.

If it is done right, marriage is a forever choice between one man and one woman for one lifetime.

It's a VERY big decision (hormones and the blissful ignorance of youth aside).

I know a coworker whose husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor four months after they were wed. 

She was faithful and vigilant to the end.

She believed she was obligated to be. And she was right.

Plus she wanted to be.

But the point I am raising here is nearly none of the excuses mankind makes for divorce or trying to justify infidelity hold up in the court of truth (God's truth).

Be sure you are right. Then go ahead. -- Abraham Lincoln

 

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I was married at age 18 and he was 21.  Because of this I went through 11 years of loneliness.  Only when Christ is placed at the center of your marriage are you really happy in a marriage.   I was a Christian but a very immature one and not as grounded in God's Word as well as I thought I was.  And I knew nothing about running a household.  He was not well established in an occupation that could support us, and he was not a Christian but I didn't want to believe that.  So I reasoned that this part of God's Word didn't apply to me!  As a result of my disobedience we suffered through 11 years of a living hell.  

Fornicators won't go to heaven.  That means people who continue to have any sex outside of marriage will go to hell.  And the Bible also says that: 

2 Cor. 6:14 NASV Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?   2Co 6:15  Or what harmony has Christ with Belial (Satan), or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?  

So if you both are not born again Christians you should not get married, and you should maintain an electronic relationship for several more years before you consider marriage should he be saved.  He has said that he is not ready for the responsibility of a family, which includes you.  Kids do happen even when you try to prevent it.  Give him a few years and stay physically away from him.  

Nearly every dad considers guys to be predators.  He wants to protect you from people like he once was.  Both God's Word and your dad want for you what will really make you happy.  They don't want you to jump off a cliff and get permanently injured because you wouldn't listen.  

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