She Gets Mad And We Don't Know Why

[LadyKay]

So I have a stepdaughter who is 29 years old. Over the past 10 years or so she gets mad over well,no one really knows. Then she stops speaking to me and my husband for months. The one time she stop speaking to us for three years!  Everything will be going fine with us then out of no where she will send a text message(always a text message) yelling at us and telling us she is cutting us out of her life again! When we ask her what it is she is mad about she won't give an answer and just leaves it with "well you know what I am mad about!" And really we do not. It has gotten to the point where if she is getting along with us and talking to us, it is only a matter of time before she gets mad about who knows what and stops speaking to us out of the blue.  It use to upset me. But I am now at the point where I feel like I don't have time for this stuff. If she wants to be mad well I guess that is something that is going to be on her. I have other issues in my life to deal with and I just don't have time to sit and wonder what it is she is mad about.  So anyway. No I am not mad at her. I don't think I have ever been mad at her. But I am at the point of being like "well whatever."  I am tired of being a part of her life only to be cut out of it by her for some unknown reason. 

Well that's my story. Thanks for listing.  

[tigger398]

Honestly, I think she just hates herself.

[HAZARD]

Sorry you have to go through that. Do what I did after many years of abuse and false accusations. Change your phone number and make it a silent line / number, not listed anywhere.

[Debp]

I think you are handling it in the right way.   You can't let yourself be jerked around like crazy according to her whims or mood swings.  You can still be nice to her if she happens to make contact, but you don't need to let her affect your life badly.

[LadyKay]

My husband talks kindly to her. In an calm, understanding way. I am not like that. I have stop myself several times this week from contacting her and letting her know just what I think of these games she is playing with us. To tell her that she is  a self center little brat. But I don't because I do not think any good will come from it. My husband is much better at diplomacy then I am. 

[Debp]

21 hours ago, LadyKay said:

My husband talks kindly to her. In an calm, understanding way. I am not like that. I have stop myself several times this week from contacting her and letting her know just what I think of these games she is playing with us. To tell her that she is  a self center little brat. But I don't because I do not think any good will come from it. My husband is much better at diplomacy then I am. 

It's good you realize it's not wise to get into confrontation with her, and also she might be looking for confrontation with you.   I learned the following Bible verse as a child, and always remembered it:

A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.  Proverbs 15:1