Help needed

[AnOrangeCat]

Hi. I'm having a real rough patch here. To keep it concise...

I'm disabled and on SSI. Because there's a mental element to it my mother was appointed my money manager. I HAD a pretty large chunk of back pay but she blew through it in ways that had nothing to do with me, like gambling. I never learned of this until much later after the fact.

When she told me about this she came up with a mobile home and told me it was mine to make up for what she did. It was parked on her mother's property. We mended our relationship pretty well during that time and both stayed there.

Around the middle of last year my mother died unexpectedly. For a while it seemed to bring an otherwise troubled and dysfunctional family closer together but it didn't really last. One of my sisters is saying the place is hers (I don't think any paperwork exists on the place for her or for me) and has been trying to throw her weight around, another stole one of my cats right in front of me and I was helpless to do anything about it. My grandmother is fine but the rest of the family is just a negative element that I need to get away from. There's just too much drugs, drama, and manipulation amongst them. I don't feel respected at all by them and as of yesterday I have a hole in the roof of the house now because of their antics.

I feel pretty lost in all of this. I'm not assertive, I often lose it when it comes to communication outside of text. I'm not sure what kind of rights I have or how I can protect the assets I have. I've thought about going to Social Security or protective services but I feel like going to them is a gamble. If anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it.

[Mr E]

If you are still living in the property you have many rights as a resident-- meaning that you can't be evicted without proper notice by whoever owns the property now that your mom has passed.  I'm assuming that your Grandmother owns the property?  She would be the only one who could take eviction actions against you and make you move.  Did your mom have a will detailing whatever assets she might have in her estate?  You should research the deed on the mobile home and/or land and see if your mom had ownership.  As one of her daughters you may also have rights of survivorship as an heir.  If she never owned the property you need to have a conversation with the owner (your Grandmother?) to see what she states your status to be.  That's where I'd start.... with Grandma.

I pray something positive comes out of it for you.

 

[Michael37]

1 hour ago, AnOrangeCat said:

Hi. I'm having a real rough patch here. To keep it concise...

I'm disabled and on SSI. Because there's a mental element to it my mother was appointed my money manager. I HAD a pretty large chunk of back pay but she blew through it in ways that had nothing to do with me, like gambling. I never learned of this until much later after the fact.

When she told me about this she came up with a mobile home and told me it was mine to make up for what she did. It was parked on her mother's property. We mended our relationship pretty well during that time and both stayed there.

Around the middle of last year my mother died unexpectedly. For a while it seemed to bring an otherwise troubled and dysfunctional family closer together but it didn't really last. One of my sisters is saying the place is hers (I don't think any paperwork exists on the place for her or for me) and has been trying to throw her weight around, another stole one of my cats right in front of me and I was helpless to do anything about it. My grandmother is fine but the rest of the family is just a negative element that I need to get away from. There's just too much drugs, drama, and manipulation amongst them. I don't feel respected at all by them and as of yesterday I have a hole in the roof of the house now because of their antics.

I feel pretty lost in all of this. I'm not assertive, I often lose it when it comes to communication outside of text. I'm not sure what kind of rights I have or how I can protect the assets I have. I've thought about going to Social Security or protective services but I feel like going to them is a gamble. If anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it.

Hi OrangeCat, May I ask if you have some mature local Christians who are aware of your situation and are willing to engage in spiritual warfare against the principalities and powers of darkness that are acting adversly towards you. Right now its very important that you commit to God's will in seeking His kingdom and His righteousness as your first priority. The troubles you describe indicate the necessity of your coming into alignment with God's will. If you are not in the habit of earnestly seeking God in prayer and intercession now is the time to start. This includes rejoicing in your hardships, blessing those who cause you distress, and affirming all the promises of God that are in His Word.

Blessings... 

[tyke]

Dear Brother, If you check in your local telephone book you will find listed under U.S , State , County, City , and Local Governments many Agencies that can help you depending upon your particular situation . Don't be afraid to make the call.      May God Bless You

[AnOrangeCat]

15 hours ago, Mr E said:

If you are still living in the property you have many rights as a resident-- meaning that you can't be evicted without proper notice by whoever owns the property now that your mom has passed.  I'm assuming that your Grandmother owns the property?  She would be the only one who could take eviction actions against you and make you move.  Did your mom have a will detailing whatever assets she might have in her estate?  You should research the deed on the mobile home and/or land and see if your mom had ownership.  As one of her daughters you may also have rights of survivorship as an heir.  If she never owned the property you need to have a conversation with the owner (your Grandmother?) to see what she states your status to be.  That's where I'd start.... with Grandma.

I pray something positive comes out of it for you.

 

 

Thank you. It's a bit complicated. My grandmother owns the land it's on. The mobile home's ownership is really up in the air, legally speaking. The story is that my mother got it from one of my sisters, and then my mother said it was mine. Problem is there was no will and NO ONE seems to have any paperwork on it so I don't think anyone can prove ownership one way or the other. Despite that my sister still wants to claim it. I still get the occasional threat or demand. Some of my other sisters drop by and feel like they can just use it as a flophouse and bring their boyfriends and do whatever drugs they want here. I don't like that but I'm reluctant to rock the boat. I talk to my grandmother about it and she doesn't like it either but she also never really seems to act on it so it keeps happening. I guess she's just trying to keep everyone happy. She's not going to evict me. I guess it boils down to this.

I'm housebound, I don't drive, and outside of my grandmother I don't have anyone I feel like I can rely on in this area even in the slightest. Everyone else I have any in person contact with here is a bad element and sometimes I'm afraid of what they might do. There are people I could stay with in other states. They're reliable and in areas that would be better for me.

Problem is that I'm on SSI and this house was reported as mine by my mother. So according to the terms of my SSI I'm required to live here. Otherwise the house is counted as an asset against my monthly income. I'd like to get out of here. If I have them look into it then it's probably going to be a big mess, especially if there's not a record of the ownership passing to anyone. In the meantime I'm pretty vulnerable if anyone decides to smash a window or something else in retaliation.

[Deborah_]

I would say that you need legal advice. If there's no paperwork to say that the mobile home was gifted to you then you are in tricky situation, and only a lawyer can tell you exactly where you stand. That wouldn't necessarily commit you to taking any action (bearing in mind the complex family situation), but at least you would know what rights you do have.

You don't say what country you live in, but in the UK there are strict rules governing inheritance when there's no will, and I would guess it's probably the same in the US. Again, you need professional legal advice.

[Billiards Ball]

21 hours ago, AnOrangeCat said:

Hi. I'm having a real rough patch here. To keep it concise...

I'm disabled and on SSI. Because there's a mental element to it my mother was appointed my money manager. I HAD a pretty large chunk of back pay but she blew through it in ways that had nothing to do with me, like gambling. I never learned of this until much later after the fact.

When she told me about this she came up with a mobile home and told me it was mine to make up for what she did. It was parked on her mother's property. We mended our relationship pretty well during that time and both stayed there.

Around the middle of last year my mother died unexpectedly. For a while it seemed to bring an otherwise troubled and dysfunctional family closer together but it didn't really last. One of my sisters is saying the place is hers (I don't think any paperwork exists on the place for her or for me) and has been trying to throw her weight around, another stole one of my cats right in front of me and I was helpless to do anything about it. My grandmother is fine but the rest of the family is just a negative element that I need to get away from. There's just too much drugs, drama, and manipulation amongst them. I don't feel respected at all by them and as of yesterday I have a hole in the roof of the house now because of their antics.

I feel pretty lost in all of this. I'm not assertive, I often lose it when it comes to communication outside of text. I'm not sure what kind of rights I have or how I can protect the assets I have. I've thought about going to Social Security or protective services but I feel like going to them is a gamble. If anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it.

Why is going to protective services "a gamble"? Because you want to mend the relationship or want to give the relationship a pass and keep the home? Do you want to sell the home and split the proceeds? Write down what outcomes you want from this financially and relationally, and pray.

[dr3032]

Normally, law makes a distinction between something given with the intent on a return, or a gift. In this case, the trailer was gifted to your mother by her sister without intent of return payment. Then your mother gifted the trailer to you as a gift, free of intent of return payment. Thus, I would think it's reasonable to assume that you are the rightful owner of the trailer. If the trailer is not in your name, you need only get paperwork which does. Trouble is if that your aunt decides she wants to fight it in court, there would have to be proof and she might still have paperwork saying it's hers and lack paperwork saying it was given to your mother. In that instance, it falls to witness testimony; you'd have to have someone like your grandmother back up your statement and be able to give proper dates. Maybe scrounge up any other evidence or witnesses that can be found.

As for your family, tough love is still love. To quote a Russian proverb, it is better to be slapped by the truth than kissed by a lie. The greatest kindness you can do to both yourself and your family is to tell them no. I love my brother, but if he wanted to use my bedroom to smoke weed and do the diddly with his girlfriend on my bed, I sure as heck would have something to say about it. I don't want my room smelling like raw pig butthole, much less have your nasty body fluids soaking into my mattress. You don't have to spit venom and bring down curses on them, but tell it like it is. If you want to come here, you better not bring your drugs with you. If you want to come here, you better keep your pants on. I know it's not fun to have people be upset with you, but it's better than having them use you as a dormat and draw out how upset you yourself are.

if worse comes to worse, just call them in. You have to do what you can to seperate yourself from cancerous, negative people. All they do is drag you down and you need to do what's best. Be strong and know that even if it feels bad now, you'll be saving yourself grief later. I'd certainly take momentary unpleasantness than have it last a lifetime, you know?

[Mr E]

6 hours ago, AnOrangeCat said:

 

Thank you. It's a bit complicated. My grandmother owns the land it's on. The mobile home's ownership is really up in the air, legally speaking. The story is that my mother got it from one of my sisters, and then my mother said it was mine. Problem is there was no will and NO ONE seems to have any paperwork on it so I don't think anyone can prove ownership one way or the other. Despite that my sister still wants to claim it. I still get the occasional threat or demand. Some of my other sisters drop by and feel like they can just use it as a flophouse and bring their boyfriends and do whatever drugs they want here. I don't like that but I'm reluctant to rock the boat. I talk to my grandmother about it and she doesn't like it either but she also never really seems to act on it so it keeps happening. I guess she's just trying to keep everyone happy. She's not going to evict me. I guess it boils down to this.

I'm housebound, I don't drive, and outside of my grandmother I don't have anyone I feel like I can rely on in this area even in the slightest. Everyone else I have any in person contact with here is a bad element and sometimes I'm afraid of what they might do. There are people I could stay with in other states. They're reliable and in areas that would be better for me.

Problem is that I'm on SSI and this house was reported as mine by my mother. So according to the terms of my SSI I'm required to live here. Otherwise the house is counted as an asset against my monthly income. I'd like to get out of here. If I have them look into it then it's probably going to be a big mess, especially if there's not a record of the ownership passing to anyone. In the meantime I'm pretty vulnerable if anyone decides to smash a window or something else in retaliation.

 

Without a paper trail of any kind detailing that it was gifted to your mother and then to you, you're probably not on very solid ground to be real.  The better standing is as a resident/tenant (whether you actually pay any rent or not) you are still a tenant on the land your grandmother owns, and staying there with her consent.  You can't be summarily tossed out without an eviction process.

The larger problem is your extended situation with your sibling relationships.  This will require real effort and communication to resolve and though you've stated that it's hard to talk to them, why don't you consider writing them a personal letter explaining your feelings about the whole situation?  You express yourself here beautifully.  Pray and ask God for the wisdom and words to best convey your feelings and seek reconciliation and healing in your family.  This might be the quickest, easiest path requiring a humble acknowledgment of your circumstances and personal helplessness.  God is mighty-- ask Him for help.

"...Where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." Ps 121

Lastly- if you truly don't feel safe in the environment, you NEED to change it.  Ask to speak to a social services counselor (social worker).  This is what they do.  If you convey that it is a safety concern they are required to get involved.  They cannot and will not ignore it.

Another way to change your environment is to ask for the strength and courage to step out on your own.  As I mentioned you communicate quite well electronically-- there are many work from home job opportunities available in areas such as customer service, online support services, order entry, and a myriad of computer-based avenues that might provide an avenue for you to escape the limitations of your SSI benefits as your primary source of financial stability.  You said you have friends elsewhere that love and support you, maybe it's time to move away from the circumstances that have you feeling trapped and vulnerable.

May God grant you wisdom in dealing with such difficulties.

 

[AnOrangeCat]

Hi everyone, and thanks for the prayers and thoughts.

On 1/4/2019 at 10:21 AM, Billiards Ball said:

Why is going to protective services "a gamble"? Because you want to mend the relationship or want to give the relationship a pass and keep the home? Do you want to sell the home and split the proceeds? Write down what outcomes you want from this financially and relationally, and pray.

To answer this question, I consider it a gamble because at least in many parts of the US protective services have a reputation. Slow to act or outright useless when they're needed, overzealous when you don't. The moment protective services show up it's like a shot was fired and I'd expect some sort of retaliation for it from the troublesome elements of the family. If protective services can't act quickly and decisively in a way that protects me and my assets then it's just risky business to my mind.

 

On 1/4/2019 at 1:17 PM, Mr E said:

Another way to change your environment is to ask for the strength and courage to step out on your own.  As I mentioned you communicate quite well electronically-- there are many work from home job opportunities available in areas such as customer service, online support services, order entry, and a myriad of computer-based avenues that might provide an avenue for you to escape the limitations of your SSI benefits as your primary source of financial stability.  You said you have friends elsewhere that love and support you, maybe it's time to move away from the circumstances that have you feeling trapped and vulnerable.

May God grant you wisdom in dealing with such difficulties. 

I largely agree with you. All of that is stuff I'd like to do eventually. When I first got on SSI I saw myself reaching toward that eventually. It just got sidetracked by a lot of things like what my mother did, the family drama, and her death. I still want to aim for those things and live somewhere that isn't deep in the middle of nowhere. I just need some time to breathe and recover.

Anyway things seem to have moved in a better direction regarding the house. Very tentatively. Too early to bank on it but we'll see where it goes. Thanks again everyone! Keep praying!