Child support

[Polly89]

Hello.

If someone made a mistake and had a child with a married man who’s also a muslim. Is it advisable as Christian to ask for child support?

[George]

Shalom Polly89,

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[Henry_iain]

19 minutes ago, Polly89 said:

Hello.

If someone made a mistake and had a child with a married man who’s also a muslim. Is it advisable as Christian to ask for child support?

Hi Polly. Welcome to Worthy. Could you elaborate a bit.  We would like to help but we need some more info here. I am a social worker and have dealt with a situation similar to this. But I need to know more of the circumstances, if you feel free to do so. Also, I am in South Africa so I am not sure how it works where you are. But initially my answer would be yes, if the need is there, and the child can't otherwise be taken care of adequately, child support is advisable. The best interest of the child is to have his/her basic needs met. 

[Polly89]

Hi lainL,

Thank you for your response.

It is a long story. I had to change countries and I’m currently seeking employment with a new born baby in East Africa and the father is in a Asia. I have sent several texts, he blocked me. I sent emails continuously and he finally responded but no action yet on how he will send the support. I thought maybe it wasn’t God’s will concerning this issue as I haven’t been able to find a book or verse in this regards. I ended up telling him I won’t follow him anymore to pay anything as I was exhausted. Should I continue to follow up or give up??

 

[Henry_iain]

47 minutes ago, Polly89 said:

Hi lainL,

Thank you for your response.

It is a long story. I had to change countries and I’m currently seeking employment with a new born baby in East Africa and the father is in a Asia. I have sent several texts, he blocked me. I sent emails continuously and he finally responded but no action yet on how he will send the support. I thought maybe it wasn’t God’s will concerning this issue as I haven’t been able to find a book or verse in this regards. I ended up telling him I won’t follow him anymore to pay anything as I was exhausted. Should I continue to follow up or give up??

 

Ah, you see, this changes things.

Legally speaking, if you are in another country, that means it will be hard to get child support. It would depend on the countries involved. If he is willing to give support I think you should take it. God's provision for us can come from different sources. However, if he isn't willing, I wouldn't advise you to persue this further and rather seek alternatives support. It seems to me that you are in a place where you need to make some tough choices. Firstly, you need to do what is best for the child.  Does the country you are in have a child support grant of some available to you? I will pray that you find employment quickly. 

I think you need to focus on seeking God now. And He does seem to be closing certain doors at the moment.  And putting the past behind and building from where you would be the best I think.  

But this is just my initial thoughts and I will pray and think about this and might add to this  later. 

[Polly89]

Thanks a lot for the advice and prayers. 

God bless you. 

[Neighbor]

Are You able to provide the parental support needed for your child?

If not then perhaps placing your child elsewhere via adoption is the best mothering that you can realistically do.

 

[Polly89]

Yes. I am able to provide the parental support needed by the help of my family.

[Repose]

Others have stated good answers here.

I just feel like putting in a side note. If he is still able to be contacted, it might be best to try and maintain a fair communication. This is the child's father. Even in another country, your child will get old enough and be curious about who their dad is. The dad may even wish to keep in contact for the sake of their child.

My brother had a son with an ex of his. She eventually got tired of him and, child in hand, ran off. We have tried tracking her down since, as we bear her no ill will, and wish only to see him, but with no such luck. My parents have a grandson they haven't seen in years. I have a nephew who I might never know. My brother has a son who might not even know that my brother exists. Even in keeping herself and her son hidden, she takes child support from my brother. He's paying for a child he can't see or even speak to.

Basically, if your child's dad or family wishes to keep in contact, please don't deny them unless it's necessary. For the child, it's nice to know where you come from.

[BeauJangles]

6 hours ago, Polly89 said:

Hello.

If someone made a mistake and had a child with a married man who’s also a muslim. Is it advisable as Christian to ask for child support?

 

4 hours ago, Polly89 said:

Hi lainL,

Thank you for your response.

It is a long story. I had to change countries and I’m currently seeking employment with a new born baby in East Africa and the father is in a Asia. I have sent several texts, he blocked me. I sent emails continuously and he finally responded but no action yet on how he will send the support. I thought maybe it wasn’t God’s will concerning this issue as I haven’t been able to find a book or verse in this regards. I ended up telling him I won’t follow him anymore to pay anything as I was exhausted. Should I continue to follow up or give up??

 

It sounds pretty complicated, and would by appearances seem the father isn't planning on cooperating either. I'm not sure how any legal actions can be taken in such a situation as this. In the USA, an unwilling father is required to submit to a DNA sample to establish proof of parenthood status previous to forcing payment from what's called a "dead-beat dad". If you're both now in different nations, that could pose a very problematic deal to be able to collect anything at all.