Is it a sin to stay away from members of your family?

[Christdiedforoursins]

This is a situation I have been in for quite so me years.I live in a building on the same property as the family house.I was in a very bad situation living here i was starved when i was pregnant with twins after my husband left me i was locked out of the main house and didn't have food i broke a window to get food from the freezer i was so hungry nauseas I had terrible pain under my ribs I prayed to God saying you said we would not be hungry if we trusted in you ,I felt a bit like peter "kill and eat" .I Brook the window and ate .because it was twins I had developed high blood pressure I had passed out once when my husband was in Israel all I could tell him is something happened to me, I couldn't wake up.I eventually felt the babies stop moving. one day my water Broke and I miscarried the two babies my heart was broken it still is (but I know they cannot be harmed ever again they are with Jesus ), after this I was also taken to court by my mother  I didn't defend myself(she goes to church in my understanding in the moment I thought she was a Christian and Christians don't take each other to court so I didn't go for this reason) I couldn't get to court anyway the police came to take me away one morning in my pijamas, to a mental heath ward of a government hospital I was put in solitary confinement for 2weeks I collapsed in the corridor when coming of from the bath I got a dislocated jaw .I still don't remember why I collapsed if I was punched or something but my blood pressure was all over the place they put me on a drip and called my family to come my jaw got fixed  .I was then taken out in the middle of the night to another hospital put in solitary confinement and had electroshocks done to me my grandmother died in this time ,I was left in there for some weeks till my medical aid ran out then I was taken to a place where 153 people died it was on the south African news the case went to the united nations .my mother stole me out she saw it was very bad She said she couldn't sleep at night.I'm still living on the same property she often threatens me to drug me etc .but now she has no legal authority over me anymore due to other things that happened to me .I was looking after the animals and house my brother came from overseas .I got beaten up by him he was a pastor and studied in a seminary he got into trouble with a woman in a church in Australia and left there and came back to s.a. to go to korea.then he beat me up one day after I was feeding the animals .I sorrowfully did fight back more to disable him than anything I got thrown in the wall a chair got broken he hit me pretty hard in the head i got head aches and a big blue ear .he had previously thrown me into a tree out side when I was carrying cages of birds out of the aviary because a big storm was coming  a neighbour intervined.I'm pretty isolated I developed anemia after severe bleeding after the miscarriage I learnt through the internet I retained placenta .most of the time I have to pretend to get along but I try to avoid all contact as much as possible God has blessed me with more time alone here and my fears of threats has ceased I'm bolder to share the good news with people my time alone has helped me study the bible .I found tapes then I brought a C.D.Of the bible being g read by Alexander scourby .my mother got a internet connection here I am with my true family on worthy .God is very good I don't think its a sin not to be with your family of the flesh if they are abusive or violent or blasphemous but its always good to be with your spiritual family .were all children of God by faith in Jesus Christ .

I share my story .maybe it can help some one I suppose I also needed to share with others and the topic was what I have been thinking about .God said he would give us a testimony through the things we suffer .my testimony is that God is true .he is our defender he will never leave us or forsake us and the present suffering even if they are only for a little while don't compare to what God has planed for all who live him and are called according to his purpose .I WOnder if  my mother will be saved oneday .my one brother died recently without Christ .he said he didn't want to see me all I could do is message him the good news that Christ had died for his sins.for the person who asked the question may God help you give you wisdom in what ever situation your in .I think one day I will just Go I have a back pack packed I couldn't leave because I had bleeding issues which God has now healed.if you need to get away from your family because of persecution this is good if you don't get along because they are not Christian its understandable Jesus said he came to set mother against daughter etc and that we need to love him more than our mother father sister brothers etc . this is also not a sin know this is a very personal story .sorry if anyone is offended I hope it can encourage any christian who is having troubles .may the comforter comfort you .

Edited December 22, 2019 by Christdiedforoursins

[JohnD]

On 12/15/2019 at 5:13 PM, Lee_ said:

Is it a sin to stay away from members of your family...?

Only according to them.

[Workman]

On 12/18/2019 at 5:37 AM, Behold said:

... if you are just a loner who feels that you just want to exist by yourself in a hiding place, and your family is not "toxic" to your faith or to your life, then.... that would not work.

 

All depends on the "functionality" of the family.  Family gatherings are overrated, IMHO.  I don't agree that there's something wrong with simply wanting to be left alone.  Even Jesus chose to get away from the disciples and the crowds to be alone a couple of times.  

I stayed single for a good portion of my adult life and eventually learned to cherish holidays alone.  It's time I could de-stress and get closer to God (and my sanity), w/o any distractions from friends or family.  I eventually found a wife who came from the same kind of family background, now we enjoy being "loners" together.

My family keeps in touch for important family matters, like serious illnesses, but other than that, we're not in frequent contact, not even for the holidays except for a card or two and nobody takes offense.  Add to that the fact that we're all approaching the seventh decade of our lives, so travel is not much fun anymore, even though we're all within driving distance.

"Toxic" to me is being bored out of my wits!  I remember spending a couple of tortuous T-Days in a row, one with a well-meaning Christian family and the next year with a girlfriend and her relatives.  The hardest part was trying to make a graceful exit as soon as I could w/o appearing rude.  Grateful to be invited into their home, but vowed never to do that again.

Edited December 26, 2019 by Workman

[Behold]

21 hours ago, Workman said:

All depends on the "functionality" of the family.  Family gatherings are overrated, IMHO.  I don't agree that there's something wrong with simply wanting to be left alone.  Even Jesus chose to get away from the disciples and the crowds to be alone a couple of times.  

 

All that i wrote that you deleted, pretty much agreed with you.

However, if you are talking about "family gatherings", then, this is not the same as "staying away from the family"....This is staying away from "family gatherings"..  That is not the same as avoiding paying your mom and pop a visit on occasion..

Not everyone loves family "get - togethers", and depending on the family, this is perfectly understandable.

My family history , related to my parents, is a ragged messed up mess.  My family were not "church goers", they didn't have Christ in the Home, when i was growing up.

Later, there was a messy hateful divorce, and remarriages, and it just sort of got worse.   My mother is passed, and my dad is close, and i love them both, but they created a lot of chaos for me that God had to heal and solve.

So, i understand what "toxic" can be, regarding a family.   

"when my father and my mother forsake me"........ This is a child's cry.  A son or daughter's pain.    This is bad parents, being bad.  And in this case, God has to do a work in the heart of this kid, this person... so that the wounds can be healed inside their heart.    And He absolutely can do it.    "Jesus came to HEAL the Broken Heart, the broken hearted", and that is including Kids who were birthed by harmful selfish idiots who should never be allowed to have children.

The truth is, some people should never be a Parent.   NEVER.   NOT EVER.  Because they are simply not equipped to give the love and the care and the time.  They dont understand the job, and they will never understand it, and all they do is ruin their kids for life, unless Jesus is called in to do a 911.

----------------.

And so,  if your family is toxic to you.....  if they have you as their dog to kick, as your role in it, then, you are not obligated to be that......

However.......The same Jesus who liked to be alone to PRAY.....is that why you are doing it?    You are staying away from your family for long periods of time, so that you can Pray more?

Well, Jesus was staying away from His apostles, and that is not exactly the same.......   as what you are talking about.

Its also true that we are to "honor our parents"........  and while we are not under the Law, it is a fact that God would want us to honor our parents, especially those who are Born again.

Most people who are dodging their parents, are into something that they want to hide.    Thats a fact.

They are embarrassed.  They feel guilty.......so, why face WHO makes them feel this way, when they can just avoid it?

So, you know, i would need to know your history, and your history with your family, to really be able to see what is up with you.

And , being a "loner" in personality, can be a double edged sword, because isolation breeds unstable mental health.   God didnt make us to be totally alone, most of the time.

He even created Eve, to be a solution for Adam's "not good for man to be alone".

Do you have a church family?   Do you have some good friends? 

You have a lot to offer.  Don't keep it all to yourself.......as i can promise you that Jesus would not want you to to that..

Edited December 26, 2019 by Behold

[Alive]

My family was much like 'Behold's'--with some very bad elements added. My Dad left when I was four and I was the oldest of 4.

I won't discuss my Mom...I left at 15 on my own.

I am so thankful that the Lord arrested me about 3 years later and took care of a lot of healing and showed me how to be a man.

These things are not easy, but our Lord is very capable.

There are remnants of the family that try to make for some cohesiveness and support. Actually, we are working through some of that now. Things change.

Most importantly, one never knows when the 'witness of a life' will be used of the Lord to turn hearts and result in salvation. We don't want to unnecessarily hide the 'Light' under a bushel.

The Lord bounces 'toxic' off of His sons like water off a duck's back.

I hope the best for you in this.

 

[LonerAndy]

On 12/15/2019 at 6:13 PM, Lee_ said:

Is it a sin to stay away from members of your family if things are such that that is what you want to do?

It depends on context.   Obviously if your father was abusive, then staying away is not only, not a sin, but it's the most healthy thing a Christian can do.   Ironically I just heard a message on this specific topic, involving a man whose father had been sexually abusive.

So he was older now, and his father knew he was a Christian, and he had a family and some daughters.   Well of course he's not letting dear old daddy be alone with his children ever, at any point.  So they visited a little, but there was no close family ties that some families have.

Of course his pagan father, asked "Well aren't you supposed to forgive?  Aren't you supposed to be a Christian?" and the answer is yes, but forgiveness doesn't mean foolishness.  And honouring your parents, doesn't mean being blind to your parents.

So you need to consider the context, and if there is a reason to not be around family, then I don't see a problem.

[JacquelineDeane55]

Is it a sin? I know that the Bible says we should fellowship with one another of we are indeed christians, but I myself am an introvert and I have trouble opening up and being around others. If that is wrong, I hope GOD forgives me for it, but I can't help it. People are born the way that they are and we are not supposed to judge them for who they are as people, its so wrong, don't you think? Jesus told us not to judge one another.

[JacquelineDeane55]

I like what a previous poster said, what BeauJangles said.

I see he gives very good advice, probably more so than I could ever.

[Prycejosh1987]

On 12/15/2019 at 11:13 PM, Lee_ said:

Is it a sin to stay away from members of your family if things are such that that is what you want to do?

I can be considered a sin, depending on the reason why you are staying away from them. If you need privacy or because you like being alone, can not be wrong but if it is because you are holding hatred towards someone then i guess it could be considered a sin.