How to make a non-dramatic exit

[CrimsonQuill]

Why do people post that they 'need a break' from the site, or that they 'won't be back' or that they 'are leaving' the site?  I mean seriously.  If you want to go, just go.  Why post a post about it for drama?  (Usually the answer for this is **attention**)

That said now let me say this:

If the Lord truly brought you here, then you better make sure that He is ready for you to leave.  If you are leaving because of something someone said that you didn't agree with or if you are leaving because someone didn't respond the way you wanted them to, then good luck in your life.  You are always going to have people around you that do not see things your way, that disagree with you, that do not respond as you want them to.  You are also going to have people in your life of different faiths and different beliefs.  This is how it is.  This is life.

Learn to accept others have their own beliefs different from yours.  If they don't know Christ, sure share Him with them but ONLY if He opens the door for you to do so.  But most that come to a Christian site already know about God.  They also usually know about Jesus Christ too.  Even if they claim to be atheist, they came to a Christian site already being aware of what Christians believe in.

If you are leaving because this site doesn't agree with your beliefs, then you already knew that before joining so one would have to ask, did you join just to make a dramatic exit?  To see how many responses you could get posting that you are leaving?

Since I joined here a couple months ago, I have seen at least (and only at the least) 5 posts about someone leaving. 

If you want to leave..... just.... go.  You can click that x up there you can even deactivate your account but just go quietly.  No need to sound the trumpets, bang the drums, or blare the horns.  Just be an adult and go.. quietly... peacefully... and holding on to some of your dignity.

You an do as I said deactivate your account, or you could just click the x in the upper right corner of your browser and just don't open the site again and I"m sure you could find other creative ways (like a hammer to the computer) to not come back as well.

While you really really really want someone to BEG you to stay, it gets old.  And over time, people get tired of that and eventually, it takes away the rest of the little bit of dignity you have left. 

People aren't always going to agree with you.  They aren't always going to see things your way.  They aren't always going to have the same beliefs as you.  So suck it up and accept it...

Pray first and foremost and then... if you still feel a need to go... go

But for all that's good and mighty, please stop posting about it just to try to get people to beg you to stay.

Jesus never begged anyone to come to Him or believe in Him.  nor did He beg  anyone to follow Him or listen to Him.  And if we as Christians are to be like Jesus then please stop expecting people to beg you to stay.  Stay if you want, go if you want, do what you want but do it with some dignity at least.

CR

 

[JohnD]

LOL

I was just wondering the same thing with Lady Kay

who never really intended to leave.

[Buddy D. Mouse]

Maybe the day is comin' when more people will say "I'm leaving" than ever were registered here in the first place - ya know - like more people in a county voting than were registered to vote in the first place...

All of the "I'm leaving this board" posts that I have seen on various boards - I dunno what to think of 'em...

They are as prevalent as the "I'm gonna kill myself" threads; or the threads that say "I think I may have committed the unpardonable sin"

they are all over the place - dime a dozen.

[JohnD]

21 minutes ago, Episcopius said:

Maybe the day is comin' when more people will say "I'm leaving" than ever were registered here in the first place - ya know - like more people in a county voting than were registered to vote in the first place...

All of the "I'm leaving this board" posts that I have seen on various boards - I dunno what to think of 'em...

They are as prevalent as the "I'm gonna kill myself" threads; or the threads that say "I think I may have committed the unpardonable sin"

they are all over the place - dime a dozen.

Yup

Primadonnas one and all. 

[GandalfTheWise]

I was fairly active here for a couple years.  A little over a year ago, I just felt God steering me in a different direction to spend my time writing other things.  I started a thread to let people know this was the reason I would shortly be leaving for an indefinite period of time.   I think it's a nice courtesy and a chance for a few see-ya-laters and blessings for those who've been regular posters to let everyone know what's up.

In terms of the level of civility now, it is markedly better now than it was a couple years ago.  A permanent ban of about a half dozen people a few years ago changed the entire tone of the site for the better.  They'd become a clique that seemed to view themselves as the only real defenders of the faith on the site.  If someone disagreed and didn't immediately change their mind and agree with the clique, they'd go after them like a pack of hyenas or wolves with thinly disguised personal attacks and accusations.    The truly sad thing to me is that I think they were sincere individuals for whom exhibiting clear fruit of the Spirit in their interactions took second place to running off anyone they viewed as a wolf or false teacher.   I don't know if it was just a mob mentality where they egged each other on or if it was intentional,  but the net result was their concerted attacks (often over a number of pages and dozens of posts in a thread) would put someone on the defensive until most people would eventually snap back at some point while defending themselves.   At that point, the clique would report that person and try to get them banned.  To put it bluntly, they had in practice become a gang of heretic hunting bullies.  Once someone crossed them, it seemed to me that they'd just keep going after them trying to goad them into posting something in anger to try to get them off the site.

I got on their bad side more than once, and would login to find several responses that were often more or less personal attacks as well as misrepresentations of what I'd posted.  A few times, newcomers to those threads would take what was written seriously and pile on.   Very few people can constantly face that volume of negativity and attacks without it affecting them.  I suspect many gave up and left.  Some were scared away from posting anything.  Some tried to defend themselves which just drew a series of new accusations.  Most who tried to engage with them at some point would post something out of frustration at which point the clique would more or less celebrate that they'd revealed a wolf and then report them and use their frustration as proof they were a bad person who should be gotten rid of.   Their bullying and gaslighting methodology was pretty obvious to me so I was usually able to shrug it off, but even then it takes a toll.  I had to drop out of a few threads.

During the time this was going on, I suspect a lot of people just gave up and left without saying anything.  "I've had it and I'm leaving" threads sometimes are for attention, but some are the result of frustration and trying to do something about it.    Some people do hit the point of feeling like no one wants them here.  At times when I see such a thread, I'll go back and skim that person's content for the past few weeks and see what's been going on.   Some people do just want attention, but there are others that have not been treated well and are very frustrated.

[NotAllThere]

Maybe it's to say goodbye. Maybe it's that some people think it's appropriate to explain the reasons why you no longer feel you can participate in the community. And then there are some people who flounce, and yet others who flounce and bounce (right back).

Does it matter? Characterising all such people as primadonnas could be considered unkind or judgemental.

I got a few very hostile replies (including entirely unwarranted accusations) to one of my early posts, so I got the fact that not everyone here is reasonable and kind quite early on. But that's ok. I moderate a non-christian site and get far worse abuse on a daily basis. It doesn't bother me (though I find it rather sad). I more concerned about what the Lord thinks about me than the evaulation of a bunch of people I'll almost certainly never meet. - except, hopefully, with most of the people here, in another land. 

Edited November 11, 2020 by NotAllThere