Husband desires less modesty, more "sexy" clothing

[JohnD]

16 minutes ago, Wynona said:

Everyone, thank you for your honest opinions.

Ill give an update.

 

Today, I sort of caved to pressure and bought a couple outfits to please my husband. Or more like we went shopping together and he sort of steered toward what he liked.

 

I vetoed a couple things untill we settled on two outfits with fitted jeans. One pair is ripped. I even bought a crop top. I got two pairs of boots I liked as well.

Maybe I shouldve held my ground. I was fine with what I was wearing before. 

But I just wanted him to be happy.

I used to balk at the idea of changing aspects of yourself for a man. But now Im that woman. 

Sometimes the pressure is just overwhelming.  

That sounds bad, doesn't it? 

Ive gone through many changes for him. I wanted to be someone better after what he's put up from me. 

Sometimes I feel like Im losing myself in the marriage. But I also don't know what is normal in a relationship.  Don't all long term relationships have some level of aggravation to them?

 

Well whatever the details, marriage is about two individuals functioning as one, yea becoming as one. "Caving" is part of it on both sides.  My Beloved Bride and I will be married 40 years this Christmas. There are many things we thought or even swore we'd never do or become for the sake of marriage. But as we matured we realized the marriage is the only sake we care about or live for (other than the Lord first of course).

I wouldn't pummel myself, if I were you. It's all part of living in this imperfect world as imperfect people. Jesus gave grace the woman caught in the act of adultery (John 8)... which may have been she was merely showing more skin than the Law would allow (Leviticus 18:8 / Isaiah 47:1-3). And Jesus did so while still under the Old Covenant (Hebrews 9:16-17). We have been under New Covenant Grace for 1900+ years. 

Enjoy the husband of your youth. 

[other one]

37 minutes ago, Wynona said:

Everyone, thank you for your honest opinions.

Ill give an update.

 

Today, I sort of caved to pressure and bought a couple outfits to please my husband. Or more like we went shopping together and he sort of steered toward what he liked.

 

I vetoed a couple things untill we settled on two outfits with fitted jeans. One pair is ripped. I even bought a crop top. I got two pairs of boots I liked as well.

Maybe I shouldve held my ground. I was fine with what I was wearing before. 

But I just wanted him to be happy.

I used to balk at the idea of changing aspects of yourself for a man. But now Im that woman. 

Sometimes the pressure is just overwhelming.  

That sounds bad, doesn't it? 

Ive gone through many changes for him. I wanted to be someone better after what he's put up from me. 

Sometimes I feel like Im losing myself in the marriage. But I also don't know what is normal in a relationship.  Don't all long term relationships have some level of aggravation to them?

 

I think it is ok to look good as long as both of you understand that you are looking good for him...   and not a trophy to show his friends.

[NotAllThere]

@Wynona I don't think it's right for a husband to insist on his wife wearing clothes she's not comfortable with. Of course, he can request that, but not insist. I think it perfectly possible for a woman to dress modestly and still be attractive and desirable. I love the way my wife dresses but she is perfectly modest in my opinion. She doesn't show cleavage nor wear tight jeans or such like. Nonetheless, she looks gorgeous. 

I don't think that refusing to do something that you feel is wrong is rebellion nor not submitting in any way.

While the husband is the head of the wife, that's as Christ is the Head of the Church. I.e. he's supposed to lay down his life for her as well as lead. And we're all supposed to submit to one another in love. Of course, what we're supposed to do and what we actually do are two different things! Then comes the difficulty (and joy, as we're both transformed into his likeness) of married life. As God for wisdom. I believe He will give that to those who ask.  

Edited November 23, 2020 by NotAllThere

[Wynona]

Thank you, everyone. 

This issue has been resolved. The compromise is that I wear stuff differently when just around him than when I'm in public. 

Im glad that I expressed that I was uncomfortable dressing certain ways in public. It was a tough argument at first but we got through it.

 

Thanks again.