Dysfunctional family

[Waggles]

Proverbs 15:1  A soft answer turns back wrath, but a hurtful word stirs up anger.

[Guest]

I am no longer fit to be a Christian. 

I cannot hate my brothers and be accepted by Jesus. I hate my brothers. I am unable to forgive them.

 So now i must surely lose the comfort and love i have had. I see no way out of this. This is misery. 

 

[Sower]

2 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

I am no longer fit to be a Christian. 

I cannot hate my brothers and be accepted by Jesus. I hate my brothers. I am unable to forgive them.

 So now i must surely lose the comfort and love i have had. I see no way out of this. This is misery. 

 

"I see no way out of this. This is misery"

Jesus accepted you through your belief in him. You can not change that.
Maybe you could try some what as I do.
I pray to God and say the words out loud, "Lord I forgive my brother"
"But Lord, I don't feel the forgiveness, I still feel so angry.
Please send the comforter to give me the peace, your peace God"
Please make it real in my heart and soul. And I know Lord if I pray according to your will you hear me. And your promise says if you hear me my petitions are granted.
So please grant my desire to obey, that I feel that forgiveness, like you forgave me, and I trust your promise. Thank you Lord.

Then believe you have received your request!!

[Arrabon]

@Melinda12

No offense meant to anyone posting here, but this isn't the place to be seeking or receiving counseling online or in PM's.

This is where you talk about your situation and maybe vent, but like myself and others here, there are Christian professionals out there that can  help you for little or nothing in fees, because there is so much financial help out there now due to the Covid-19 pandemic.

Pray about God helping you find the right professional, and He will.

God helped me find a therapist that was just wonderful, and the cost was next to nothing.

Very affordable.

We will be praying for you.

[appy]

34 minutes ago, Arrabon said:

@Melinda12

No offense meant to anyone posting here, but this isn't the place to be seeking or receiving counseling online or in PM's.

This is where you talk about your situation and maybe vent, but like myself and others here, there are Christian professionals out there that can  help you for little or nothing in fees, because there is so much financial help out there now due to the Covid-19 pandemic.

Pray about God helping you find the right professional, and He will.

God helped me find a therapist that was just wonderful, and the cost was next to nothing.

Very affordable.

We will be praying for you.

What I do agree on, is that getting professional counseling in person  is more ideal than online.  If the opster is currently attending church services, I think it would be good to speak with the pastor or counseling staff.

 

[appy]

So...... I agreed with Arrabon about something. I am entitled to agree or disagree with something someone else has posted.   This message board like ALL other message boards whether Christian or secular, is open to all to post their thoughts, opinions, agreements or disagreements. The only thing that is required is that we all exercise politeness, and tact when responding, aka follow the T.O.S. Everyone is allowed to state their views and opinions in the way they see fit, whether others agree or disagree. No one on the forums has the right to dictate how others can word their thread titles or their posts. Or tell them who they can or can not agree with. 

And you know what? I never said, it was wrong to get online counseling, only that I agreed with Arrabon about something.  and added a suggestion.  It is then up to the opster to decide what to do with all the advice given her.

[Arrabon]

 

 

@Josheb I've had my say and am done.

I'll leave all this in God's hands now.

Whatever you do is between you and God.

 

 

Edited June 20, 2021 by Arrabon

[Guest]

Please pray for me. I am in spiritual crisis. I feel immense blinding hatred for my brother whose words have taken all my peace. He is an empty atheist who would not stop until he goaded me and dragged me down. So now i have heaped abuse at him in return, to defend myself. 

How can i expect the love and forgiveness of Jesus while i hate my brother? 

I must come through this but the hopeless depression has already begun. I do not know what to do. 

So pray for me. I am praying too. 

[Guest clancy]

9 hours ago, Josheb said:

Is that a serious question? If you knew what to do would any effort actually be made to do what you can be doing? 

If that question is authentic and it expresses a sincere desire for change then PM me. I will ask a few questions so I can better understand your particular situation, describe some of the common effects that has on a person, steer you toward practical source of further understanding and change, and be available for some real, real basic conversation regarding dysfunctional families and the effect they can have on a person. 

PM me unless you and I have previously discussed these matters. I'll do what I reasonably can to get you started healing (like pray with and for you ) but this stuff doesn't change without work. 

Welcome to the club. You can see many of us have similar (but not identical) experiences and we've managed to grow sufficiently at least to be able to post encouragement in cyberforums . There's plenty of encouragement and prayer to be had from us. If you want more then PM me. Cyberspace is not the place for the kind of counsel you'll likely need but I'll do what I can to get you started. 

Thank you Josheb ,for your offer of  counselling .

God,has  counselled me through a Christian counsellor, I had to go through quite a few, to reach the right one.

I am free from my abusive past, I had to learn to trust God and that He “ Truly “ Loved me, that he would never leave me,  ....I was in a terrible, confused state, my heart felt unbearable pain through the process of finding the source,/ root cause, cognitive therapy I had, yrs of it.

It was God who got me through, I put my trust and faith in him, regardless of the pain.

It was HIS LOVE that got me through, Pure Love is in my Heart from the Lord, which has never left me to this day....and never will....

He knows me inside out....He is the only one as I call it....” Tamed Me”...no one can calm me down like he does......

I pray he brings Melinda to that wonderful resting place in Him....it won’t be easy, but, He will get her there..trust him in this situation you are in, he is there with you..??

 

Edited June 20, 2021 by clancy

[Guest clancy]

45 minutes ago, Melinda12 said:

Please pray for me. I am in spiritual crisis. I feel immense blinding hatred for my brother whose words have taken all my peace. He is an empty atheist who would not stop until he goaded me and dragged me down. So now i have heaped abuse at him in return, to defend myself. 

How can i expect the love and forgiveness of Jesus while i hate my brother? 

I must come through this but the hopeless depression has already begun. I do not know what to do. 

So pray for me. I am praying too. 

I also suffered with anxiety and depression, was on medication for it over a number of years....

I felt immense anger as well for my family, God let me get all that crap out ,that I had pushed down, because I was never allowed to express it, through fear of rejection from my parents, I couldn’t deal with them rejecting me as a tiny child ,as I grew it affected my whole being.

God is there with you Melinda, it may feel far from it, but he is, talk to him about it all, he does hear you....

i had to leave my mother and brothers ,parted ways, best thing I ever did....when she was dying,I went to the hospital to see her, she died the next morning.

I felt better that I saw her and let her know I loved her...never went to her funeral.....

i have been estranged from my two brothers and two older sons for many yrs....I tried twice to reconcile with my sons....they didn’t want to know.....so I now leave them to God.....?