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DITR

DITR

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Posted (edited)

I really need help sorting this out.. yesterday I was leaving for work and I noticed a man in a car backing up into the handicap parking spot near my apt..  i felt like I needed to watch him for some reason it felt off... and it seemed like he was watching me also but from a small distance ( maybe just a feeling) then he drove his car and parked by the mailbox instead. I didn't see him get out as I was still driving to get out of the gate. I was driving on the street and noticed his car was still by the mailbox..my apt is on the 2nd story and also on the corner so I can see everything from the street. As I was driving I seen him running up my stairs so I did a uturn and went back to my apt. He and his vehicle were gone though I never seen him drive out of the gate.
The reason why this bothers me so much is because my manager changed my schedule for yesterday a couple days ago and the only ones who knew about it was my boss and my boyfriend. Who was at my apt sleeping at the time. He has had alot of spiritual issues since day 1 of being with me he has been delivered from what I thought everything... but because there was alot of issues I have been very wounded by him and am trying to heal. One of the issues was being confused about sexual preference.. though he said he has never been with a man in his life bit has thought about it. He's told me many things and I just prayed him through.. he hasn't said any of that for over a year but this happened. He told me that the guy was not there for him and that he was asleep.  But I am very uncomfortable with it right now.... he has changed quite a bit for the better and he prays and reads the bible with me every night...  We live 4 hours from eachother but he was visiting this weekend as he does often.. he is not social and doesn't have friends that he hangs out with here or where he lives but that guy seemed like he knew who I was and my schedule.  Am I just wounded and paranoid? Please help me

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Who me

Who me

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Posted
18 hours ago, DITR said:

Am I just wounded and paranoid

 

If you are concerned for your safety, fit better quality locks to your front door, if the landlord will permit it a better quality door as week and CCTV that monitors your front door and the inside of your apartment.

Talk to your police about home security, or a firm dealing with security.

 

The bit about the change to your hours is confusing, your manager, your boss and your boyfriend knew, but you didn't.

How is that possible?

 

Then there is the issue of your boyfriend.

Is the a hetrosexual arrangements or something else?

 

Either way why is he staying with you?

The basic rule in Christianity is no sex untill marriage, and that included not giving the appearance of sleeping together.

 

If you want to help this ' boyfriend ' get him to start attending a good church every Sunday, if visiting you he attends church with you.

Check out the christianityexplained web site for churches in both your areas.

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appy

appy

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Posted

I am not trying to oppress you, but your post does leave me with the impression that the two of you are not just cohabiting once in a while but also in bed together before marriage, and you are going through the emotional roller coaster of a relationship with him because you feel sorry for him. This hurts your witness to each other because both of you are doing exactly what scripture tells us not to do. Without him having to wait till after marriage, he may feel he has little incentive to be sincerely committed to the relationship when he can test drive now.

The lack of unconditional commitment and dedication to the relationship leaves you feeling vulnerable and changes everything about the dynamics of the relationship. And his commitment and respect for you has been absent from the very beginning of your relationship with him, or he would not be entertaining thoughts of being romantically involved with others. And there will always be doubt about his sincerity in the back of your mind from him and lack of trust.  A man that truly loves you, and respects you.... will be more than willing wait till after he says “I do”

As it turns out, older generations weren’t trying to oppress us by telling us not to live together before marriage .... they were trying to protect us. Saving shared living space for after marriage allows us to be sure we picked the right man or woman and that we’re actually committed to one other, not just there out of ease or convenience.

 

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BK1110

BK1110

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Posted

If you two are not married, there should really be no overnight visiting at all. It just invites sin by making temptation run rampant.

You both need to find a good, Bible-teaching church to attend each week, to get connected with Christians who can help you both grow and mature.

I will pray for you both!

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R. Hartono

R. Hartono

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Posted
On 6/21/2021 at 2:16 AM, DITR said:

I really need help sorting this out.. yesterday I was leaving for work and I noticed a man in a car backing up into the handicap parking spot near my apt..  i felt like I needed to watch him for some reason it felt off... and it seemed like he was watching me also but from a small distance ( maybe just a feeling) then he drove his car and parked by the mailbox instead. I didn't see him get out as I was still driving to get out of the gate. I was driving on the street and noticed his car was still by the mailbox..my apt is on the 2nd story and also on the corner so I can see everything from the street. As I was driving I seen him running up my stairs so I did a uturn and went back to my apt. He and his vehicle were gone though I never seen him drive out of the gate.
The reason why this bothers me so much is because my manager changed my schedule for yesterday a couple days ago and the only ones who knew about it was my boss and my boyfriend. Who was at my apt sleeping at the time. He has had alot of spiritual issues since day 1 of being with me he has been delivered from what I thought everything... but because there was alot of issues I have been very wounded by him and am trying to heal. One of the issues was being confused about sexual preference.. though he said he has never been with a man in his life bit has thought about it. He's told me many things and I just prayed him through.. he hasn't said any of that for over a year but this happened. He told me that the guy was not there for him and that he was asleep.  But I am very uncomfortable with it right now.... he has changed quite a bit for the better and he prays and reads the bible with me every night...  We live 4 hours from eachother but he was visiting this weekend as he does often.. he is not social and doesn't have friends that he hangs out with here or where he lives but that guy seemed like he knew who I was and my schedule.  Am I just wounded and paranoid? Please help me

Roman 3:4 ...let God be true n every man is a liar.....

 

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