The Roots Of Bitterness

[Ani Tefillah]

5 minutes ago, Starise said:

Maybe as long as we have this old flesh we deal with it? I would love to dump that side of me. 

Amen to that! 

[Starise]

10 hours ago, HopeInHim said:

Sometimes the severing of a toxic relationship is necessary in order to not go crazy. How does one defend against those who would accuse them that this is out of “bitterness” as opposed to a desire to maintain mental sanity?

I would hate to be in that place but I understand it might sometimes be necessary. I have a few people in my life now who almost drive me nuts. I'm an odd sort of cookie though. If they went away permanently I would miss them but most of the time they drive me bonkers and I just want them to leave me alone. I can tell that this among other things affects my mental sanity. If only there were balance.

I know many women feel they are at an impasse and must do something. Maybe men too in certain relationships. 

It's one of those things that needs a lot of prayer and spiritual direction.

God can change the coldest of hearts. It needs to be a decision to either pursue peace or run from the fire. Pursuing peace is sometimes an ongoing thing. 

31 minutes ago, MonicaWife said:

I've really learned that it is so important for me to not have any bitterness towards anyone, because the bitterness will actually slowly destroy me, both spiritually and physically. 

Amen. If we could always point to the reason for the bitterness as another person who initiated it things would be easier. Sometimes the bitterness comes against persons who have no idea about it. They may not realize they are doing something that another person sees as unfair or biased or insensitive. In this way bitterness can be firmly established against someone who is clueless to it. Was Abel aware Cain wanted to kill him? He may have known his brother was upset but had no idea it was so bad it would lead to his eventual death.

If we possess bitterness what is the best way to rid ourselves of it? For me it isn't like a switch I can simply turn off. It takes a lot of prayer for help. What establishes it in the first place? 

[Ani Tefillah]

14 minutes ago, Starise said:

I would hate to be in that place but I understand it might sometimes be necessary. I have a few people in my life now who almost drive me nuts. I'm an odd sort of cookie though. If they went away permanently I would miss them but most of the time they drive me bonkers and I just want them to leave me alone. I can tell that this among other things affects my mental sanity. If only there were balance.

I know many women feel they are at an impasse and must do something. Maybe men too in certain relationships. 

It's one of those things that needs a lot of prayer and spiritual direction.

God can change the coldest of hearts. It needs to be a decision to either pursue peace or run from the fire. Pursuing peace is sometimes an ongoing thing. 

Amen. If we could always point to the reason for the bitterness as another person who initiated it things would be easier. Sometimes the bitterness comes against persons who have no idea about it. They may not realize they are doing something that another person sees as unfair or biased or insensitive. In this way bitterness can be firmly established against someone who is clueless to it. Was Abel aware Cain wanted to kill him? He may have known his brother was upset but had no idea it was so bad it would lead to his eventual death.

If we possess bitterness what is the best way to rid ourselves of it? For me it isn't like a switch I can simply turn off. It takes a lot of prayer for help. What establishes it in the first place? 

"What establishes it in the first place?" 

Good question! I remember many years ago when I could so easily get offended and hurt, as I am a sensitive person etc, but as I've grown older, I can see that I am not so easily offended or hurt any more, and therefore it is easier for me to forgive, I think. 😊 

[Starise]

-Being passed over for a promotion due to nepotism

-Attending a church where only the core family people get the jobs in the church

-Working with ignorant people who are narcissistic. People who belittle others or have a superiority complex.

....and many more things like this can set us off. On one hand they may look like valid reasons for a person to get upset. On the other hand, if we let these things get to us they can turn us bitter. We must find a way to cope with these things constructively.

It helps to realize that generally speaking the world is not fair and at one time or another we will probably all deal with something we see as unfair. Joseph was treated unfairly, Jesus was treated very unfairly. Sometimes life does not seem fair. Why do some families do so well while other families seem to be constantly floundering? 

Bitterness can come from the feeling we were dealt a bad hand in life. "If only" begins to set in and when "if only" never happens we can be bitter.

"If only" I had gotten that job.

"if only" I had married someone else

"if only" .................................fill in the blanks with your own story here.

 

 

[missmuffet]

14 hours ago, Starise said:

Text-

Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord. Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled. (Hebrews 12:14-15).

One view of this passage indicates  the root of bitterness in this passage to be  concerning a wrong teaching in the church while traditionally the context to me seems to be more focused on an individual who is harboring bad feelings against another person. Apparently this can be a failure of the grace of God as indicated in the text. I will need to look up other translations and root words to see exactly what that portion of it means.

Roots of bitterness have been described like the weeds in a garden that take hold and are difficult to remove. I see bitterness in those who felt slighted and would rather sever a relationship than stay and live with the person they feel has offended them.

Bitterness breaks up families. It breaks up churches. It severs relationships.

When we are bitten by the bitter bug we try to blame our bitterness on others, we try to justify it in some way, yet bitterness and a good heart cannot live together. Bitterness probably hurts us more than anyone else. Like a root it grows until it gets deep into our soul. Bitterness can have a chokehold on our lives.

If you have been trapped in bitterness, do you recognize it for what it is? Or do you keep pushing it deeper into your soul? Similar to a root bitterness grows if we feed it what it needs to grow. Resentment, envy, jealousy, unforgiveness. Bitterness can come from many places.

It's important to realize when we are feeding this deadly root in our souls. Usually doing the opposite of the thing your deceitful heart is telling you to do is what will rid you of it. That person who burns you to no end. Forgive them. That situation you are in that you hate, trust that God has a plan in it and see it as His guidance. The person you are jealous of. Swallow hard and congratulate them on their achievements.

Ask God to help you pull this weed from your garden or it will destroy your relationship to Him.

Roots of bitterness comes from unforgivness. 

[Ani Tefillah]

2 hours ago, Starise said:

-Being passed over for a promotion due to nepotism

-Attending a church where only the core family people get the jobs in the church

-Working with ignorant people who are narcissistic. People who belittle others or have a superiority complex.

....and many more things like this can set us off. On one hand they may look like valid reasons for a person to get upset. On the other hand, if we let these things get to us they can turn us bitter. We must find a way to cope with these things constructively.

It helps to realize that generally speaking the world is not fair and at one time or another we will probably all deal with something we see as unfair. Joseph was treated unfairly, Jesus was treated very unfairly. Sometimes life does not seem fair. Why do some families do so well while other families seem to be constantly floundering? 

Bitterness can come from the feeling we were dealt a bad hand in life. "If only" begins to set in and when "if only" never happens we can be bitter.

"If only" I had gotten that job.

"if only" I had married someone else

"if only" .................................fill in the blanks with your own story here.

 

 

If only...I could really learn to love as He does....and be filled with more of His compassion. 

[Starise]

37 minutes ago, Josheb said:

Right living leads to right relationships among right people. 

However, everyone has sinned and thereby fallen short of God's glory. No one is perfect in the manner God is perfect. No one is perfect in the manner the triune God is perfect. No one is perfect in the way the triune God is perfectly one with Himself. We are imperfect. We are finite. We lack the ability to be perfect. We are messed up. Therefore, wrongdoing and the divisions that result from wrongdoing will ensue. God, through His word (all three iterations of it), has provided a means for us to address the wrongdoing and the relational bitterness-causing consequences that ensue from wrongdoing. Without digressively expounding upon all of those provisions, the one most salient to addressing bitterness is forgiveness. It is best to avoid conditions that might beget bitterness (holiness) but that is wholly impossible with imperfect sinful sinners on this side of resurrection. In short, we should remember: 

• Wrongdoing begets a need for forgiveness.
• Unaddressed forgiveness can lead to resentment.
• Unresolved resentment leads to bitterness.
• Unresolved bitterness leads to strongholds. 
• Unresolved strongholds lead to bondage. 

Life functions on relationships! Where we have broken relationships, we have an absence of the kind of life promised in Christ: life abundant. It is possible to live a life absent bitterness. It is not possible to live a life absent forgiveness. The latter is preventive of the former. 

 

 

 

 

 

(relevant scriptures provided upon request)

With forgiveness being key, what are your thoughts on absolute forgiveness?

I say 'absolute' because I don't always feel something forgiven is a thing forgotten. If the wound were physical instead of internal it might be similar to incurring a gunshot wound where you finally healed, yet the scar is always there.

Edited February 14, 2022 by Starise

[Warrior of truth]

14 hours ago, Selah7 said:

Our Father hates evil, too.  ….and who is the evil one?  It’s Satan.

I despise Satan. I just feel like sometimes i focus on it too much and it gets me down seeing Satan manifest his evil on the world.

[Warrior of truth]

9 hours ago, MonicaWife said:

Why? Should I not HATE AND ABHOR what He hates and abhor? Of course! 

I've learned that if I don't allow myself to hate and abhor all evil (not evil humans, only their evil deeds), I may perhaps get so lukewarm and never minded towards the evil, that I end up with starting to do evil deeds myself? 

Well, I prefer to stay aware and awake, and continue to hate and abhor all evil. 

I was just explaining above that I despise Satan. I just feel like sometimes i focus on it too much and it gets me down seeing Satan manifest his evil on the world.

But I suppose its best to know the truth of evil even if it is shocking and hard to accept. I always want to know where Satan is. Im always in the watch tower looking out for Satan. If i can't see Satan then he might be deceiving me so i always want to see where he is and what his doing.

[MrBear]

1 hour ago, Warrior of truth said:

I was just explaining above that I despise Satan. I just feel like sometimes i focus on it too much and it gets me down seeing Satan manifest his evil on the world.

But I suppose its best to know the truth of evil even if it is shocking and hard to accept. I always want to know where Satan is. Im always in the watch tower looking out for Satan. If i can't see Satan then he might be deceiving me so i always want to see where he is and what his doing.

Yes he is lurking

i like mike’s teachings on James

“DEALING WITH THE DRAGON (JAMES 1: 13-15)” - youtube 

the snake comparison he makes 🐍, when temptations of sin arise imagine the rattle from the rattlesnake a warning that Satan is near

Good video