I have been disappointed with the church we attend

[tony wesmit]

I have been disappointed with the church we attend, they are so boring and half the time I can't be bothered to participate. They distribute communion and it's so awkward since I am disabled.

God just reminded me that I have His grace to serve others and I go to church to serve and support. Me is not the focus but the forgotten, depressed, disillusioned, troubled and "heavily-laden". Remember Jesus and His attitude.

[Jayne]

I hear you, brother.

My own church has disappointed me from time to time, but everytime - I have to remind myself that I am there to serve the Lord.

No one is perfect and no church is perfect.  When we look for and expect perfection - we will always be disappointed.  I also tell myself that when I look in the mirror and see perfection, then I can expect it from others.

That will never happen. 

[Wayne222]

1 hour ago, Jayne said:

I hear you, brother.

My own church has disappointed me from time to time, but everytime - I have to remind myself that I am there to serve the Lord.

No one is perfect and no church is perfect.  When we look for and expect perfection - we will always be disappointed.  I also tell myself that when I look in the mirror and see perfection, then I can expect it from others.

That will never happen. 

Hi Jayne I never expect perfection. But a church while not perfect at all should be there to care for all members. If they are not they hav failed the Lord. 

[JohnR7]

9 hours ago, tony wesmit said:

have been disappointed with the church we attend,

This is difficult to understand. Most of the churchs I have been in are wonderful. The best part by far and away is the worship. Some are more friendly than others. For me I can understand shopping around for a church where people fit in better. But I can fit into just about any church. If anything I blame myself for not being more friendly and outgoing with people that find it difficult to talk to others. 

[R. Hartono]

9 hours ago, Wayne222 said:

But a church while not perfect at all should be there to care for all members. 

Would you be the first to care ?

[Michael37]

1 hour ago, R. Hartono said:

Would you be the first to care ?

Hey, that's unnecessary. Keep it civil or get reported.

[Michael37]

12 hours ago, tony wesmit said:

I have been disappointed with the church we attend, they are so boring and half the time I can't be bothered to participate. They distribute communion and it's so awkward since I am disabled.

God just reminded me that I have His grace to serve others and I go to church to serve and support. Me is not the focus but the forgotten, depressed, disillusioned, troubled and "heavily-laden". Remember Jesus and His attitude.

Hi Tony.

Life is full of disappointments but praise God for His Word which dispels them. 

Dealing With Disappointment 101

• Take it to the Lord in prayer.
• Read Habakkuk 3:17-19  Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls—  (18)  Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.  (19)  The LORD God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer's feet, And He will make me walk on my high hills. To the Chief Musician. With my stringed instruments.
• Adjust expectations accordingly.

[Who me]

18 hours ago, tony wesmit said:

I have been disappointed with the church we attend, they are so boring and half the time I can't be bothered to participate. They distribute communion and it's so awkward since I am disabled

 

May I ask is it the sermons and services that are boring or the church members?

 

May I suggest that if it is the sermon that you talk to the preacher  afterwards, or if he disappears, email him with your comments about the sermon.

Challenge  him to be biblically  consistent  and relevant  to today. (  not just a Jesus appeal  every week. )

Again challenge the minister about meeting everyone 's needs, be positive and make suggestions how communion  could be served to you.

 

Boring church members, may I suggest getting to know them better before trying to liven them up.

[Starise]

18 hours ago, tony wesmit said:

I have been disappointed with the church we attend, they are so boring and half the time I can't be bothered to participate. They distribute communion and it's so awkward since I am disabled.

God just reminded me that I have His grace to serve others and I go to church to serve and support. Me is not the focus but the forgotten, depressed, disillusioned, troubled and "heavily-laden". Remember Jesus and His attitude.

I had written a rather lengthy comment in another thread about my church, but after some thought I decided to delete it.  Since there is so much good still going on by people really trying to make things better, I decided to omit those comments.

But maybe the question really is, Is it a bad thing for people to discuss why they have these kinds of feelings about church? Often these discussions are pointed back at the person making them, and maybe this is sometimes justified, or maybe they have a legitimate concern. Wisdom is definitely needed.

For me a new church is like a honeymoon that after some times wears off,  we begin to see the real issues, or I could be over critical. I am willing to acknowledge that.

In my case a few things that bothered me were not feeling as if I had a solid link to my pastor. I didn't need to be his best bud, but as a church member I had maybe the false expectation that one of the pastor's jobs was to go around and check on his flock occasionally, even if that flock is very large. I had a serious potentially life threatening health issue and the church did bring me up for prayer, but not one peep from the pastor, not one email, not one text. This is a guy I had over and attempted to get to know. I was really hurt over this and to this day I am not over it.

Secondly I am so tired of people who won't let go of church power and let anyone else do anything. I am sick of that. It's always certain falimiles that hold on tight to those positions and won't back down. THEY have to stay up there and won't allow anyone else who is similarly gifted to help. This all begins to look a lot like family control and domination of a church.

When we came to this church they knew I was a worship leader before, but they chose to ignore that completely, and instead concentrated on their demographic audience and family ties. My wife said I should just "roll with it" as she puts it, so I did, but it's been a very bumpy ride. I don't feel as if I am considered as a person for what the Lord has given me to do. Instead, I am a slot filler for an empty place that week. Not even seen as a human being or an individual at all. What I desire does not matter. They don't want ideas, they want someone to fill the slot. Period.

The last time I was up front the entire thing was dragging and we were singing the same song we sang every other week for months at a time. No wonder worship is so boring.

 

[missmuffet]

On 11/26/2022 at 10:52 AM, tony wesmit said:

I have been disappointed with the church we attend, they are so boring and half the time I can't be bothered to participate. They distribute communion and it's so awkward since I am disabled.

God just reminded me that I have His grace to serve others and I go to church to serve and support. Me is not the focus but the forgotten, depressed, disillusioned, troubled and "heavily-laden". Remember Jesus and His attitude.

The Church you go to should respect and make your participation there comfortable. Why is it boring? Perhaps you could visit another Church and see how it compares. I have not be happy with the Churches I have attended. Maybe I am asking too much of a Christian community and fellowship. I am looking at in with a born again Christian perspective.