I don't want to be a Christian anymore.

[Sower]

6 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I feel like avoiding any ignoring God so I won't rack up more sins for myself

You may ignore God to show him your anger.    But he won't ignore you.
He will never leave you!    He will never forsake you!  God doesn't lie.
Trust is best when things get hard. Wait upon the Lord...And his timing.

EDIT, PS: Those sins you mention have been paid for, washed away!

[TheBlade]

6 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I've been baptized twice. I feel I don't have a true love for God like other people. Instead I'm very angry and hateful towards God( in my heart) 

I can't change. 

I feel like avoiding any ignoring God so I won't rack up more sins for myself. I still remember the dream I had. I don't think church is a place for me anymore ... so now I'm going to willfully self isolate  

I think once I finish my nursing school and things are less of a struggle with my kids and work ect then maybe I'll go back to God. 

I can't with my hateful heart right now. 

So this is my solution. I don't want to be toxic. So I'm just gonna take alot of time to myself and be alone. 

I think I'll spend time with God when I'm less hateful. 

 

I think I'll make this my last post since this is my solution. 

 

Hi.. so maybe you did or didn't but.. tell Him all this.. let Him have it all! See He is the only one that can take it. Life can hit us so hard This might be a tad strong here.. I remember a story 11y girl was taken.. then brought into the USA NY and she escaped at the age of 18. I remember this other young girl watched men brake in and kill her father (preacher) before her eyes.  I remember this woman on a plane talking about she would take babies. Well theres this place in a 3rd world nation, well leave it at that where men and woman meet and there are children of all ages there. This woman would get in and take or in truth rescue the babies. She had taken saved 250 the last one was 11 months old.

The point is .. this is a fallen world and the enemy's time is running out. Now as this life hits us and we say "that's it we give up.. later GOD".. He knows He understands but He never leaves us. Salvation is not based on only if life is going good or we don't fall or get stuck in sin or we want to give up. He knows the enemy is attacking and we can't see it.. all we see is GOD so we blame Him.. and its ok.. He can take it He really can. 

There is no other man or woman that loves you like He does. He will bring you through this. That story how we walk on the sand and look back and we find it was Him carrying us? We felt so alone.. He didn't care.. this happened, that happened and after all of it was over.. we look back.. He was carrying us and we never even saw it. 

I'm 63y old and 55y in the lord. I have never ever seen the righteous forsaken. Faith is not based on feelings. What your Father has spoken in His word He will do. He has not will not can not ever fail. What He started in you He will finish. Fact.. ever dream you had everything you wanted to do.. what He called you to is not lost. If not in this age you will do it in the age to come. So many think they missed it goofed up so bad.. all those dreams are gone. Nope! 

Its His love.. we love you.. and know that there those out there that don't know you but someone I promise.. is always praying for you. Where I stop praying.. someone else takes over. I always loved hearing this song,  not about that man but the song.. He would be on TV and that song which how odd comes to mind right now and I don't think I have a post where I quote it. So it is for you.. 

"Something good is going to happen to you
Happen to you this very day.
Something good is going to happen to you
Jesus of Nazareth is passing your way."

[RdJ]

7 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I've been baptized twice. I feel I don't have a true love for God like other people. Instead I'm very angry and hateful towards God( in my heart) 

I can't change. 

I feel like avoiding any ignoring God

You are angry at God because you think He ignores you?

I backslid. A judge took my 3 month old baby from me. My dad said: they did that in Nazi Germany. I prayed that God would give my kids back, but He did nothing. I did not get mad at Him though, because I was always taught in church that if something bad happens it's never God's fault. It's your own fault or someone else's fault, but never God's fault and because I got Word of Faith teaching instead of the calvinistic 'God is omnipotent and can do whatever He wants, so if He doesn't He is not willing', the God image exchristians hate, I just thought God could not help me and later I doubted if He even existed, but I wasn't mad at God. Now had they told me that He can do whatever, but He was just like: oh they took your kids? Ah what a pity. Not nice eh? Haha but what do I care. Yes then sure I would have gotten furious. The thing was: I did not realize it, but I lived in sin. Maybe also because they put me full with pills that made my conscience work less. My ex dumped me after he chatted with an über holy American woman who was divorced herself and the daughter of some minister or maybe she was even one herself, but she didnt mind ruining a family, so I ran off with a guy I met in the mental hospital where I came after a suicide attempt caused by Prozac and we married ourselves there in the back of a car of another patient who was our witness. So I really believed God saw us as married. We couldn't legally marry, because I just got dumped and ran off with the next one a week later, so I was still legally married. I saw a preaching then, when I lived together with that guy, from Carlos Annacondia. He said he was preaching once and a woman yanked his tie and said: Mis hijos! Mis hijos! Why? Why? Why? My kids! My kids! Why? Why? Why? And he said: Because you turned your back on God. And then he preached about the widow from Nain whose son got buried and she got her son back, cause Jesus raised him and he said: God will give you back what you lost.

I did not understand it though at the time. I was deceived. I thought God was fine with it and saw us as married. Then I was legally divorced and we would marry for the law, but then all of a sudden he didnt want to cause he'd have to pay my ex child support. Then I saw that I had been mislead, broke up and repented and asked Jesus back in my heart. I said sorry to my ex. He said sorry. I got my kids back. 

God could not help me because I had turned my back on Him. When I returned to Him He could help me.

 

If you want God to help you it's not smart to leave Him. Don't listen to satan. What if the rapture is next week? Then you miss it if you leave Him. What about your children? Don't hinder them. Let them come to Jesus.

[deva1]

8 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I've been baptized twice. I feel I don't have a true love for God like other people. Instead I'm very angry and hateful towards God( in my heart) 

I can't change. 

I feel like avoiding any ignoring God so I won't rack up more sins for myself. I still remember the dream I had. I don't think church is a place for me anymore ... so now I'm going to willfully self isolate  

I think once I finish my nursing school and things are less of a struggle with my kids and work ect then maybe I'll go back to God. 

I can't with my hateful heart right now. 

So this is my solution. I don't want to be toxic. So I'm just gonna take alot of time to myself and be alone. 

I think I'll spend time with God when I'm less hateful. 

 

I think I'll make this my last post since this is my solution. 

 

Hi. If you can access youtube listen to "I won't let go " by Rascal Flatts. Much love from a fellow nurse. The training isn't easy ♥️ . 

Edited April 30 by deva1

[Marilyn C]

9 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I've been baptized twice. I feel I don't have a true love for God like other people. Instead I'm very angry and hateful towards God( in my heart) 

I can't change. 

I feel like avoiding any ignoring God so I won't rack up more sins for myself. I still remember the dream I had. I don't think church is a place for me anymore ... so now I'm going to willfully self isolate  

I think once I finish my nursing school and things are less of a struggle with my kids and work ect then maybe I'll go back to God. 

I can't with my hateful heart right now. 

So this is my solution. I don't want to be toxic. So I'm just gonna take alot of time to myself and be alone. 

I think I'll spend time with God when I'm less hateful. 

 

I think I'll make this my last post since this is my solution. 

 

God is still there while you `sit in the corner,` and when you come to the end of yourself, (like we all do).

[Figure of eighty]

5 minutes ago, Marilyn C said:

God is still there while you `sit in the corner,` and when you come to the end of yourself, (like we all do).

I hope God gives me a new heart.  So I can enjoy God like everyone else and not have issues. 

[Figure of eighty]

51 minutes ago, deva1 said:

Hi. If you can access youtube listen to "I won't let go " by Rascal Flatts. Much love from a fellow nurse. The training isn't easy ♥️ . 

It's not? 

[Marilyn C]

Just now, Figure of eighty said:

I hope God gives me a new heart.  So I can enjoy God like everyone else and not have issues. 

A new heart starts with being thankful for - .......................... amid all the difficulties. 

[Jayne]

1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

I hope God gives me a new heart.  So I can enjoy God like everyone else and not have issues. 

My Sunday School lesson Sunday was partially about suffering.  From Romans 5:1-5.

Paul said we should "glory" in our sufferings.  What the dickens does that mean?  I know of NO ONE who wants to rejoice or glory in sufferings.  Not one single human being.

Paul said that our sufferings bring about three things.

[1] Perseverance = What's that? It's when you, in suffering, just pick up one foot and put it down in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Some Bibles translate this word as endurance or patience or steadfastness. No matter, it all means the same thing - just keep moving. Just keep picking up one foot and - unwilling to lie down in defeat - keep putting it down in front of the other. Keep on moving, brothers and sisters.

[2] Character = [also known as spiritual maturity]. This is when other people can look at you and SEE you suffering, but yet see you keep marching on and THEY are influenced to do the same. And YOU, yourself, grow and grow in the not quitting and not giving up. No we aren't superheroes and there are days we DO sink to our lowest and give in - but we cannot give up. Not giving up changes us and changes others who watch us.

and [3] HOPE! = and HEREIN lies the hope, brothers and sisters. When we persevere in sorrows and lead others also to persevere, THEN we know the grace and mercy of God, Almighty, and we know what hope is.

Hope cannot come from fear.

Hope cannot come from quitting.

We DO get scared and sometimes we do give in.

Let's practice STOPPING that.

Don't stop moving forward - even if it's just inch by inch.

[Vine Abider]

In fellowship this evening with a couple others, I realized that one other thing is needed that I wanted to convey to you - declare scripture out loud.   That is, take a verse you think is good and speak it, even pray it back to the Lord.  His word is living and operative, and by speaking it, it changes you. (and also puts the lying enemy to flight)

Do you have any favorite verses?