Thinking of the unthinkable...

[Figure of eighty]

2 hours ago, Marathoner said:

Everything that @Jayne and @Coruscating wrote above is true. I've been working with the homeless for many years in the most dangerous and desperate part of this city, and I've watched others destroy their lives --- and the lives of children --- just to make money. A few years back, I wrote about a woman wandering this neighborhood who tore at my heart. 

I would listen to her screaming and crying late at night. Screaming, because her dealer refused to give her another fix that day and she was going through withdrawals; crying, and blaming the Lord for the ruin of her life. Her children were taken away from her by the court for their safety. She was a prostitute. 

She would break into a vacant apartment... use it to turn tricks... and by the time the sheriff's department arrived to throw her out, the place was trashed and littered with used syringes and meth pipes (she and her clientele were addicts). She was so far gone mentally that in spite of us interacting many times, she never remembered who I was.  

A year went by without seeing her around. During that time, a sister in the neighborhood told me about this woman and her story. Her church had done everything they could to help her, but this woman was beyond their reach. She lost her first child due to her drug abuse and prostitution, and lost the other two the day they were born in the same way. 

Several months later, I saw her again: only this time, she was missing a leg. Wound botulism is a plague in this city among addicts who share needles. The botulism pathogen is present on needles and passed from one infected addict to another. Without treatment the injection site becomes infected, and that infection becomes gangrenous. The only way to save a life is to amputate the gangrenous limb. 

That's what happened to her. That can also happen to you if you chase after destruction. 

I'm not chasing destruction.  Just trying to make my ends meet. I'm not an addict or anything just trying 5o keep a roof over my head and stay in my nursing program 

[Figure of eighty]

4 hours ago, Jayne said:

Go ahead.  Whore yourself out.

You will:

[1] not get in or at least get kicked out of the nursing program

[2] lose your kids

[3] get a sexually transmitted disease

I've told you that I pray for you often.  Sometimes I can't believe the stuff that comes from your mouth.

Have you TRIED reading the Bible, praying, finding other Christians, applying for help, .... anything?

Job lost his children, his wealth, and he was covered from head to toe with horrible boils.  And his "friends" gathered around and tried to convince it was because he was "sinful". Neither you nor I have a life that can compare to that.  Stop contemplating wrong choices.

Get your mind focused - FOCUSED - on the LORD.

You, as @The_Patriot21 has said, are making the wrong choice time and time again.

I've been applying for help. I'm not gonna do what I wrote I'm just frustrated and praying everything comes together.

[Michael37]

19 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

I've been applying for help. I'm not gonna do what I wrote I'm just frustrated and praying everything comes together.

What you wrote was of the flesh. We try to stay in the Spirit here.

Being in the Spirit requires not being in the flesh, which is something that needs to be crucified, metaphorically of course.

Gal 5:24-25 And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. (25) If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Live in the Spirit = Abide according to the Will of God.
Walk in the Spirit = Act according to the Will of God.

[Figure of eighty]

11 minutes ago, Michael37 said:

What you wrote was of the flesh. We try to stay in the Spirit here.

Being in the Spirit requires not being in the flesh, which is something that needs to be crucified, metaphorically of course.

Gal 5:24-25 And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. (25) If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Live in the Spirit = Abide according to the Will of God.
Walk in the Spirit = Act according to the Will of God.

Man this is hard. It really makes me question my own salvation. Alot of people seem not to have difficulty doing this or don't get stressed but money,rent,school and basic things stress me. 

Idk how you all got to this level or trust or faith in God. I'm not sure how to reach that.

[Michael37]

3 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

Man this is hard. It really makes me question my own salvation. Alot of people seem not to have difficulty doing this or don't get stressed but money,rent,school and basic things stress me. 

Idk how you all got to this level or trust or faith in God. I'm not sure how to reach that.

When God says to count it all joy when we face frequent tribulations that's what we should do.

It works for me. I don't let any tribulation get the better of me, and as a result of counting or considering my tribulations all joy I have experienced God's Helping Hand. 

Ezr 7:6  this Ezra came up from Babylon. He was a scribe skilled in the Law of Moses, which the LORD, the God of Israel, had given. The king had granted Ezra all his requests, for the hand of the LORD his God was upon him.

[Figure of eighty]

11 minutes ago, Michael37 said:

When God says to count it all joy when we face frequent tribulations that's what we should do.

It works for me. I don't let any tribulation get the better of me, and as a result of counting or considering my tribulations all joy I have experienced God's Helping Hand. 

Ezr 7:6  this Ezra came up from Babylon. He was a scribe skilled in the Law of Moses, which the LORD, the God of Israel, had given. The king had granted Ezra all his requests, for the hand of the LORD his God was upon him.

I just worry endlessly. Did you ever struggle any? What helps u through trials?

[Michael37]

26 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

I just worry endlessly. Did you ever struggle any? What helps u through trials?

Everyone has testings, trials, and tribulations. If you were my counselee I would work with you to stop you from "awfulising", which is what we call the exaggeration and magnification of problems, often to an extreme or catastrophic level.

Num 13:30-33  And Caleb stilled the people before Moses and said, Let us go up at once and possess it. For we are well able to overcome it.  (31)  But the men that went up with him said, We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we.  (32)  And they brought up an evil report of the land which they had searched to the sons of Israel, saying, The land through which we have gone to search it, is a land that eats up those who live in it. And all the people whom we saw in it were men of stature.  (33)  And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, of the giants. And we were in our own sight like grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.

[Jayne]

37 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

I just worry endlessly. Did you ever struggle any? What helps u through trials?

Yes, we all have struggled.  I've told you of my anxiety and depression.  It was not easy today in church.  I cried in Sunday School trying to pray and teach.  I cried in church while playing the piano.  I know people think I'm a nutcase.

Today was hard for me.  All I could think of was what a disappointment I am to God.  Which may be partially true, but I KNOW he loves me, saved me, and has a purpose for me.  And I KNOW that these negative feelings come from the devil.

What helps me through trials is listening to gospel music on YOUtube, praying, reading scriptures, and finding SOMETHING to laugh at.  Usually cat videos on YOUtube.  Seeing my therapist always helps.  

Also, staying productive and busy helps.  Finding good books to read.  Good quotes to memorize.  Positive thinking.  Reliance on the Holy Spirit.

Do you feel like you are not actually saved?  Was there ever a point in time where you realized that you were like everyone else - a sinner - and NEEDED Jesus?  Did you ever submit your life to him?

[warrior12]

1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

I've been applying for help. I'm not gonna do what I wrote I'm just frustrated and praying everything comes together.

If you really believe what the bible says about life, the struggles we would face and who is your redeemer, then you have to stand on that faith. It is not easy and I don't know why some believers go throught these teribble afflictions. The devil does not want to loose any of his property and will plant fear and circumstances to win your soul back to his kingdom.   

If you stand on the promises of God and determine not to surrender to the devil schemes and attacks, then that is all the Lord wants you to do, cause the battle is not yours.  I have been through quite a bit, so I can speak of these things, and you have to find the courage to stand firm and determine you are going to live the right way, that Jesus Christ has ordained for his children.    You are in warfare, you just don't know it and thinks it is all the accumulation of things that is weighting you down, so yes, you would feel all the burden.  

This life is real, pinch yourself to verify that and know that, either you put your trust in the Lord or succumb to satan and his plot to keep you in bondage and fear.  Your choice and I know how despair feels, but stand firm, you have a lot of brothers and sisters with you. 

Even as I write, I have struggles I have to deal with, but my experience has taught me quite a lot and so I stand with the word, If the Lord is for me, who can be against me.

[Figure of eighty]

11 minutes ago, Jayne said:

Yes, we all have struggled.  I've told you of my anxiety and depression.  It was not easy today in church.  I cried in Sunday School trying to pray and teach.  I cried in church while playing the piano.  I know people think I'm a nutcase.

Today was hard for me.  All I could think of was what a disappointment I am to God.  Which may be partially true, but I KNOW he loves me, saved me, and has a purpose for me.  And I KNOW that these negative feelings come from the devil.

What helps me through trials is listening to gospel music on YOUtube, praying, reading scriptures, and finding SOMETHING to laugh at.  Usually cat videos on YOUtube.  Seeing my therapist always helps.  

Also, staying productive and busy helps.  Finding good books to read.  Good quotes to memorize.  Positive thinking.  Reliance on the Holy Spirit.

Do you feel like you are not actually saved?  Was there ever a point in time where you realized that you were like everyone else - a sinner - and NEEDED Jesus?  Did you ever submit your life to him?

Yes bc I just don't seem to thrive in trials. I don't care much about pleasing God. I just want to be a nurse to be financially stable for my kids. I see other Christians and they care and they want to please God and strive to. This makes me worry bc my heart isn't like there's I ask God to change it. I've been saved and baptized twice. I don't feel different.