Dealing with Non-Religious Parents

[Guest LaurenMay]

This kind of piggybacks off the “How to be friends with non-believers” thread, except I was hoping to gain some more specific insight for my situation.

Both my parents are non-religious, my father in particular is quite antagonistic towards organised religion as a whole. 
I was raised in a non-religious environment but now, as the only one of faith in the family, I can’t exactly just find new parents as easily as I could move on from a group of non-believer friends.

I am trying to balance the immense love and respect I have for them with the things that trouble me because of all this. My father is disdainful of my choice, mocks me, has at least on one occasion removed a simple cross necklace I have from the house, and other things like this including saying I’d die a virgin cause no boys gonna want a christian know it all. My mother has just distanced herself from me. I’m scared to bring up my faith with them, I know they don’t wanna hear it, but at the same time I just wanna share the great things I’m learning and reading about.

anyway that’s my concern.
 

[Who me]

2 hours ago, LaurenMay said:

My father is disdainful of my choice, mocks me

There are two aspects of responding to your parents.

To continue to show you love and value them.

Your Fathers mocking your faith. To calmly  ask him what does he believe? And to follow it with. What evidence do you have for that belief?

Be sure that you can give a rational reason for your faith.

This Web site has some challenging arguments:-https://winteryknight.com/2024/12/12/the-worst-mistake-you-can-make-when-defending-the-christian-worldview-9/

Other sites coldcasechristianity, toughquestionsanswered.

Books by Lee strobel, the case for Christ.

Do keep calm in the face of mockery, challenge him to give rational reasons for his views.

Do continue to pray for them and to invite  them to church functions.

[Guest LaurenMay]

15 minutes ago, Who me said:

There are two aspects of responding to your parents.

To continue to show you love and value them.

Your Fathers mocking your faith. To calmly  ask him what does he believe? And to follow it with. What evidence do you have for that belief?

Be sure that you can give a rational reason for your faith.

This Web site has some challenging arguments:-https://winteryknight.com/2024/12/12/the-worst-mistake-you-can-make-when-defending-the-christian-worldview-9/

Other sites coldcasechristianity, toughquestionsanswered.

Books by Lee strobel, the case for Christ.

Do keep calm in the face of mockery, challenge him to give rational reasons for his views.

Do continue to pray for them and to invite  them to church functions.

That’s the things though. I don’t want my time with them to be a warzone of debate. I just want it to be like it was.

[Tristen]

5 hours ago, LaurenMay said:

This kind of piggybacks off the “How to be friends with non-believers” thread, except I was hoping to gain some more specific insight for my situation.

Both my parents are non-religious, my father in particular is quite antagonistic towards organised religion as a whole. 
I was raised in a non-religious environment but now, as the only one of faith in the family, I can’t exactly just find new parents as easily as I could move on from a group of non-believer friends.

I am trying to balance the immense love and respect I have for them with the things that trouble me because of all this. My father is disdainful of my choice, mocks me, has at least on one occasion removed a simple cross necklace I have from the house, and other things like this including saying I’d die a virgin cause no boys gonna want a christian know it all. My mother has just distanced herself from me. I’m scared to bring up my faith with them, I know they don’t wanna hear it, but at the same time I just wanna share the great things I’m learning and reading about.

anyway that’s my concern.
 

My first advice is to seek God's strategy for your parent's salvation. Not everyone is won over by a frontal assault. People are broken - and you may need to navigate the hurts and offenses of past experiences - which they likely blame on God (even the God they claim to not believe in).

I would consider applying 1 Peter 3:1:

"Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives"

The context is wives with unbelieving husbands. However, the verse also more-generally speaks to the fact that non-believers often pay more attention to "conduct" than to words. If you bring love and joy and peace and grace into their house, they will notice - and they will put the pieces together with the knowledge that you belong to Christ. You'll probably have to be very patient with them (perhaps years) - even waiting for them bring up the topic of your faith with you.

I'd also consider your father's antagonism towards your faith to be a positive sign - that he is closer to salvation than you realize. The closer one gets to salvation, the more their flesh will fight back (and maybe some adopted spirits as well). The fact that he was so triggered by your "cross necklace" is further indication of a war in his heart (otherwise, why would he care?). Certainly, pray for him.

With regards to the mockery, if he is randomly attacking your faith, that means he is bringing the issue up. You are therefore within your rights to ask him, "Would you like to have a conversation about that? Is that something you'd like to talk about?".

With regards to you being a "know it all" - that may (or may not) be something you have to address in how you come across to people. Take that to God - just in case they are seeing something in you that you are not seeing in yourself.

2 Timothy 2:24-26
24 And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, 25 in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, 26 and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.

1 Peter 3:3-4
3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

Being, and even dying, "a virgin" is not problematic for a Christian. The "boys" will have to get in line behind Jesus. Nevertheless, even the world is coming to realize that "a virgin" with traditional values is a rare diamond among the plentiful, yet jagged, rocks on offer.

 

 

[Who me]

13 hours ago, LaurenMay said:

That’s the things though. I don’t want my time with them to be a warzone of debate. I just want it to be like it was.

If your Dad is mocking your faith, pinching your cross he is making war on you.

Do your research, learn the facts about Christianity and calmly ask your Father to either explain why he does not believe or to rational debunk the resurrection.

As rational adults you can have a friendly debate and even set a time for when, what ever the state of play it ends.

 

 

[Guest LaurenMay]

So a little update, I mentioned to my Father today that I would love him to explain why he does not believe, and as his loving daughter, I’m always to discuss with him about God’s love, even if I know it’s not comfortable for him.

He laughed and told me he doesn’t want to discuss fairytales, and that the sooner I get out of this phase I was in the better. 
Naturally this made me upset, so I’m in my room now reading some of my favourite passages from the bible and wishing I didn’t annoy him too much because I hate when he’s annoyed. 
 

Is maybe just holding my faith inside and close with him best?

[Alive]

4 minutes ago, LaurenMay said:

So a little update, I mentioned to my Father today that I would love him to explain why he does not believe, and as his loving daughter, I’m always to discuss with him about God’s love, even if I know it’s not comfortable for him.

He laughed and told me he doesn’t want to discuss fairytales, and that the sooner I get out of this phase I was in the better. 
Naturally this made me upset, so I’m in my room now reading some of my favourite passages from the bible and wishing I didn’t annoy him too much because I hate when he’s annoyed. 
 

Is maybe just holding my faith inside and close with him best?

I would ask the Lord to show you what it means and how to “honor your father and mother”.

The one commandment with a promise attached.

[Guest LaurenMay]

21 minutes ago, Alive said:

I would ask the Lord to show you what it means and how to “honor your father and mother”.

The one commandment with a promise attached.

I do try to honor them. I respect them, and I do obey them, even though it doesn’t always align with my interests.

[Alive]

3 minutes ago, LaurenMay said:

I do try to honor them. I respect them, and I do obey them, even though it doesn’t always align with my interests.

That is wonderful. What I am suggesting is using this situation to draw closer to the Lord while asking Him to teach you.

The Holy Spirit in us functions to shed light on Truth and make it real for us experientially.

This is an issue of Life. Spend time quietly in prayer, knowing He is your Father and Lord who cares for you in all experiences in the Life.

[enoob57]

37 minutes ago, LaurenMay said:

So a little update, I mentioned to my Father today that I would love him to explain why he does not believe, and as his loving daughter, I’m always to discuss with him about God’s love, even if I know it’s not comfortable for him.

He laughed and told me he doesn’t want to discuss fairytales, and that the sooner I get out of this phase I was in the better. 
Naturally this made me upset, so I’m in my room now reading some of my favourite passages from the bible and wishing I didn’t annoy him too much because I hate when he’s annoyed. 
 

Is maybe just holding my faith inside and close with him best?

When the words will be rejected then all you left is action... be true to God in your actions, like: bowing you head and thanking God quietly for food, go out of your way to show love and devotion to their needs, be faithful to your church family and speak of them as sisters and brothers ... etc.  Let them see God's Words in your life without speaking... We will be praying for you in this...