Split - How Words Can Affect Change

[Openly Curious]

When one is searching for answers who do those go to if one is trying so hard to tell of what they are going through for if one does tell it scares everyone to death and they are alone again. Words changes things for sure and those who have the problems are made to feel isolated and others are not really willing to feel what others are going through. They trash you with their gospel and want to come again to share their gospel yet once again thinking the same gospel they trashed them with before will work for them. For this I do not understand seeking help is delusional within itself. One can be a giant and one thunk of a finger can shatter everything caplunk. Why should everyone be scared to share if what they say is real. Fragile they are and fragile they'll stay in this regards. Words changes things for sure.

oc

[nebula]

Firstly although i have been told by members not to read the suicide threads, debating whether or not a christian who commits suicide goes to heaven or hell. i have follwed them, and being totally honest, the past few weeks i have seriously been contemplating cmmiting suicide. in a way i was reading the posts hoping to find out that i still went to heaven so that i as a christian could go ahead and do it and still go to heaven.

Hannah, I am truly sorry. :wub:

It's so easy to get caught up in theology that we actually forget the people.

That's one of the problems with on-line communcation, we can't see expressions and body language to "read" people with.

The whole subject has been sensitive to me because part of my healing has been to undue the "God as an ogre" image in my mind with regards to sin, so to speak. Part of the reason I wanted to end my life was because I was sure God was mad at me for all my imperfections, which I was very aware of, and of which I couldn't seem to quit (why couldn't I stop making my dad angry? why couldn't I respond gracefully to insult? why did I always stumble over my words when trying to witness? why couldn't I be more of a blessing to those around me? . . . ) Maybe that sounds silly to everyone else, but this was the world to me.

That's why I don't like the Heaven-Hell debate - for me it diminished God's grace, the opposite of what I needed to find healing.

I don't know what your struggle is with, Hannah, nor what your image of God is like, nor anything else. I just know that for some odd reason the Lord has a place in His heart for our lives down here on Earth. I don't understand it. I just know it is serious for Him. That the Lord has kept you here is evidence that He wants you here .

I know this can lead to a whole new discussion on why the Lord keeps us on Earth after salvation, but I am not sure that would minister to your heart right now. So I won't go into that unless asked.

Maybe sometime when you are quiet, you can ask the Lord why He wants you alive on this Earth, and then wait for Him to answer?

Much grace to you, Hannah!

[>> Hannah <<]

i dont get what Openly Curious is getting at? anyone care to explain?

[Openly Curious]

i dont get what Openly Curious is getting at? anyone care to explain?

I'm getting at why you yourself were reading the other threads for but I maybe a little more complicated than you in my reasons why.

OC

[nebula]

. . . All we have to do is enjoy Him. We do not have to labor to make the cake. There is nothing that can be done except accept Christ fully as all. I have much more to say to this at the moment time does not permit.

I remember the first time I raised my hands in worship. I was in, I don't know, second or third grade maybe? The assistant pastor in my church taught us to do so this one Sunday. When I did, it felt so good! I didn't understand the theology behind raising my hands in worship at all, but I kept doing it because I enjoyed it so much. Worshipping the Lord has always been special to me because it took me from my pain and helped me to enjoy Him!

Yet, by the time I was in 7th grade, I couldn't be happy even when I laughed. It was so bad, even my brother noticed this. (Now when a guy can become sensitive to a female's emotions, you know you are in bad shape! )

All the preachiing I heard about being a Christian means you'll just be filled with all this joy for no other reason than just because . . . or that all I had to do was spend more time with the Lord and it will all work out . . .

didn't do me squat. It wasn't working, wasn't helping . . .

In fact, it made me feel worse and even more condemned. I should be better than this.

But you want to know the kinds of words that made the world of difference in my life?

Kiss The Son

Words and Music by Kevin Prosch

When You've been broken

Broken to pieces

And your heart begins to faint

'Cause you don't understand

And when there is nothing

To reap from the ashes

And you can't even walk

Onto the fields of praise

But I bow down and kiss the Son

Oh I bow down and kiss the Son

When the rock falls

Falls upon you

And you get ground to dust

There's no music for the pain

You open the windows

The windows of heaven

And then you hold me

And you crush me like a rose

But I bow down and kiss the Son

Oh I bow down and kiss the Son

Let the praise of the Lord be in my mouth

Let the praise of the Lord be in my mouth

Though You slay me I will trust You, Lord

Though You slay me I will trust You, Lord

***

Hard to Get

Words and music by Rich Mullins

You who live in Heaven

Hear the prayers of those of us who live on Earth

Who are afraid of being left by those we love

And who get hardened by the hurt

Do you remember when You lived down here where we all scrape

To find the faith to ask for daily bread

Did You forget about us after You had flown away

Well I memorized every word You said

Still I'm so scared, I'm holding my breath

While You're up there just playing hard to get

You who live in radiance

Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin

We have a love that's not as patient as Yours was

Still we do love now and then

Did You ever know loneliness

Did You ever know need

Do You remember just how long a night can get?

When You were barely holding on

And Your friends fall asleep

And don't see the blood that's running in Your sweat

Will those who mourn be left uncomforted

While You're up there just playing hard to get?

And I know you bore our sorrows

And I know you feel our pain

And I know it would not hurt any less

Even if it could be explained

And I know that I am only lashing out

At the One who loves me most

And after I figured this, somehow

All I really need to know

Is if You who live in eternity

Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time

We can't see what's ahead

And we can not get free of what we've left behind

I'm reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears

All the words of shame and doubt, blame and regret

I can't see how You're leading me unless You've led me here

Where I'm lost enough to let myself be led

And so You've been here all along I guess

It's just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get

[Kabowd]

When one is searching for answers who do those go to if one is trying so hard to tell of what they are going through for if one does tell it scares everyone to death and they are alone again. Words changes things for sure and those who have the problems are made to feel isolated and others are not really willing to feel what others are going through. They trash you with their gospel and want to come again to share their gospel yet once again thinking the same gospel they trashed them with before will work for them. For this I do not understand seeking help is delusional within itself. One can be a giant and one thunk of a finger can shatter everything caplunk. Why should everyone be scared to share if what they say is real. Fragile they are and fragile they'll stay in this regards. Words changes things for sure.

oc

Huh?

I'm getting at why you yourself were reading the other threads for but I maybe a little more complicated than you in my reasons why.

OC

No offense but, is English your first language? Your posts are extremely hard to follow and comprehend.

Anyway, Hannah, I'm sorry about your struggles. I've had close family members suffer with depression, and close friends also. It's a very real health issue and sometimes ppl try to "spiritualize" it when it can very often boil down to a physical problem. Circumstances, stress, or even chemical imbalances can cause these feelings. I'd highly encourage you, if you haven't already, to see a doctor and just get a good physical. After ruling out physical problems, they you can maybe address the emotional issues (or spiritual ones if there are any). I think that sometimes there is a stigma attached to depression, especially in "religious" circles where sometimes ppl will end up burdening someone who is struggling with even more guilt and pain. Even someone who is very close to the Lord and loves Him can struggle with these emotions. We can look to figures like David or Elijah in the bible and see that they went through wide ranges of emotions throughout their lives. That isn't to say we should just "accept" them, I think it's important to seek help when you need it. When we struggle, are depressed, angry or whatever else emotions we are dealing with...I think it's important to confess it to someone we trust so that they can bare the burden with us. Part of the stronghold that makes depression so debilitating is the isolation it can bring. Learning to depend on others to help us through it can help break that cycle.

[>> Hannah <<]

Firstly although i have been told by members not to read the suicide threads, debating whether or not a christian who commits suicide goes to heaven or hell. i have follwed them, and being totally honest, the past few weeks i have seriously been contemplating cmmiting suicide. in a way i was reading the posts hoping to find out that i still went to heaven so that i as a christian could go ahead and do it and still go to heaven. You have to remember this is not someone in a good state of mind thinking. i just want to address the fact of how dangerous that thread could of been. But the people posting in it didnt think of that did they!?!

you said "I'm getting at why you yourself were reading the other threads for but I maybe a little more complicated than you in my reasons why.OC"

What you going on about. i have already said why i was reading the other threads on suicide i said

"in a way i was reading the posts hoping to find out that i still went to heaven so that i as a christian could go ahead and do it and still go to heaven"

how can ur reasons be more complicated than mine, when my reason has already been stated and you dont even know me and know anything about my experiences. i dont even get why u r addressing why i read it. when i have already said why i did.

[Openly Curious]

When one is searching for answers who do those go to if one is trying so hard to tell of what they are going through for if one does tell it scares everyone to death and they are alone again. Words changes things for sure and those who have the problems are made to feel isolated and others are not really willing to feel what others are going through. They trash you with their gospel and want to come again to share their gospel yet once again thinking the same gospel they trashed them with before will work for them. For this I do not understand seeking help is delusional within itself. One can be a giant and one thunk of a finger can shatter everything caplunk. Why should everyone be scared to share if what they say is real. Fragile they are and fragile they'll stay in this regards. Words changes things for sure.

oc

Huh?

I'm getting at why you yourself were reading the other threads for but I maybe a little more complicated than you in my reasons why.

OC

No offense but, is English your first language? Your posts are extremely hard to follow and comprehend.

Anyway, Hannah, I'm sorry about your struggles. I've had close family members suffer with depression, and close friends also. It's a very real health issue and sometimes ppl try to "spiritualize" it when it can very often boil down to a physical problem. Circumstances, stress, or even chemical imbalances can cause these feelings. I'd highly encourage you, if you haven't already, to see a doctor and just get a good physical. After ruling out physical problems, they you can maybe address the emotional issues (or spiritual ones if there are any). I think that sometimes there is a stigma attached to depression, especially in "religious" circles where sometimes ppl will end up burdening someone who is struggling with even more guilt and pain. Even someone who is very close to the Lord and loves Him can struggle with these emotions. We can look to figures like David or Elijah in the bible and see that they went through wide ranges of emotions throughout their lives. That isn't to say we should just "accept" them, I think it's important to seek help when you need it. When we struggle, are depressed, angry or whatever else emotions we are dealing with...I think it's important to confess it to someone we trust so that they can bare the burden with us. Part of the stronghold that makes depression so debilitating is the isolation it can bring. Learning to depend on others to help us through it can help break that cycle.

For it is these kinda of things that make the burden sore worse. One says to confess others say shutup or go away or you are wrong you got it all at the cross, it's just free will so where then is ones hope for it is just all shattered away and gone as they take away what their trying to hold on to. All just convince you not to hold onto anything. This is a world of confusion within itself. One says your secure one says your not once I said I was neither group. So how does one learn to depend on others when all this goes on. I know these need the help of others but it is somehow gone all wrong. Sorry about my poor english and writing skills didn't get schooled properly in english because of daa daa daa

oc

[nebula]

So how does one learn to depend on others when all this goes on. I know these need the help of others but it is somehow gone all wrong.

OC-

Can I just give you a

[Openly Curious]

Oc

you said "I'm getting at why you yourself were reading the other threads for but I maybe a little more complicated than you in my reasons why.OC"

Hannah

What you going on about. i have already said why i was reading the other threads on suicide i said

"in a way i was reading the posts hoping to find out that i still went to heaven so that i as a christian could go ahead and do it and still go to heaven"

Oc

mine are the same reason as you. but not all just that one reason for I had more reasons than just the one is all I was trying to say. But I like the threads have been split

Please take no offense cause I do not know you as you say.

Oc