Split - How Words Can Affect Change

[nebula]

Wow, Swordfish!

Your words brought tears to my eyes.

That is so true of me . . . and yet no one around me seems to know or understand that what you described is just how I am.

Everyone says, "Just get out of the pit."

And I cry, but what good is getting out if I don't learn how I got her so I don't fall in again."

But no one cares; they just want me out of the pit.

Why can't they understand that if I don't learn, it does me no good?

Why can't they value my need to learn? To process? To understand?

Why does it all have to be about being "happy"?

Thank-you so much for sharing this!

It was refreshing to see this huge aspect of me put into words.

I needed that!

Again, thank-you!

[nebula]

What am I looking for?

How to feel confident in decision-making.

How to deal with anger in a constructive manner rather than in a way that crushes someone else or festers in myself.

How to handle conflict in a godly manner rather than falling into a pity-party like my parents taught me by example.

How to not be stupidly afraid to do something as simple as making a phone call (what is with that???!!).

How to put my thoughts and emotions into words, especially verbally.

How to feel confident about myself.

How to have hope in a hopeless situation.

How to get myself out of the rut that I'm in.

How to not be a continual victim of circumstances all the time.

Did I mention confidence?

Does that help?

[SwordFish]

Wow, Swordfish!

Your words brought tears to my eyes.

That is so true of me . . . and yet no one around me seems to know or understand that what you described is just how I am.

Everyone says, "Just get out of the pit."

And I cry, but what good is getting out if I don't learn how I got her so I don't fall in again."

But no one cares; they just want me out of the pit.

Why can't they understand that if I don't learn, it does me no good?

Why can't they value my need to learn? To process? To understand?

Why does it all have to be about being "happy"?

Thank-you so much for sharing this!

It was refreshing to see this huge aspect of me put into words.

I needed that!

Again, thank-you!

you always remember nebula good people in the bible called of God had to go to the pit and out of their pit came great and wonderful things it is this you must learn above all else to draw from the pit. and it helps to keep the word of God in your soul full up with it for it will be inside of you in order to draw from keep the well full in this way.

some may never understand but you have worth and you can be used of God no matter what others may tell you. you must base everything you do learn on the holy scriptures this will always guard you in life. if you accepted jesus as your saviour then you have christ in you the hope of glory.

and you can learn as well as everybody else in the body of christ to share the deep truths that you find in life's journey. you don't have to meet everyone's elses expectations of you God created you to be you. so i say let God arise and let his enemies be scattered on this one to you personally.

i love you in the lord and you have worth and value in which to give if you have christ and can give him to the world then you shall make many rich just in that one thing. i get so tired of people trying to put people within their own little box. and expect you to stay in that box. well i for one don't have to stay in anbody box. if you are in christ and he is in you what else is there. if people don't understand then always remember jesus understands you and the love in which you have for him even if others don't. this is for you. lol

swordfish

Edited March 31, 2006 by SwordFish

[nebula]

Swordfish - thanks!

Ruck - think of it like this, though - in faith, the land of Canaan belonged to the children of Israel. However, they still had to cross over the Jordan with their own feet, they still had to conquor the land with their own swords and blood and sweat and feet and hands. A person can stand around and claim victory to their face turms blue, but there is an element of active participation.

For instance - you mentioned having a short temper? Well, have you ever made the effort to catch your anger before you explode at your family? Have you asked the Lord to uncover to you why it is you have a short temper with them? Have you pasted the verse: "Be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath" on your computer as a reminder to yourself not to give into the anger when it is provoked? Things like that.

Does that make sense?

[SwordFish]

Swordfish - thanks!

Ruck - think of it like this, though - in faith, the land of Canaan belonged to the children of Israel. However, they still had to cross over the Jordan with their own feet, they still had to conquor the land with their own swords and blood and sweat and feet and hands. A person can stand around and claim victory to their face turms blue, but there is an element of active participation.

For instance - you mentioned having a short temper? Well, have you ever made the effort to catch your anger before you explode at your family? Have you asked the Lord to uncover to you why it is you have a short temper with them? Have you pasted the verse: "Be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath" on your computer as a reminder to yourself not to give into the anger when it is provoked? Things like that.

Does that make sense?

yes it does girl and i can feel your fight and i like it you go girl you got some spunk don't let anyone put you in a box. you learn in the lord the same way as you did when you was a youngster growing up. we got to put on christ and that is a process and no one can go through that process but you. the examples you give above are accurate and true and will come all in due time my sis again i love you in the lord and that devil better watch out now because good things are going to come from you.

as you learn to draw from that well on the inside of you you go girl.

swordfish

[nebula]

My dad has an anger problem.

It got so bad that I was actually afraid of him for many years. I was so terrified of saying or doing one tiny thing wrong, for that always made him explode in anger at me.

This has been one of the issues I've had to deal with in overcoming my depression problem.

I realized that I viewed God the way I viewed my dad - afraid of making Him angry at me over the slightest error. My image of God was with a sledge hammer waiting to whack me over the head anytime I sinned - either by commission or ommission. I had a terrible fear of God that wasn't a holy fear.

It took me a long time, though, to have the ability to believe that God's grace and patience is bigger than that.

I realize now that my dad has an anger problem because he actually has an insecurity problem. His anger comes from his insecurities. I'm still trying to understand male psychology, but he has a horrible need to be in control, and the only way he (subconsciously) knows how to regain control is to explode in anger. I don't think he understands this. I would give anything for dad to see and recognize and acknowledge that he has this need to be in control to feel secure about himself. I wish so bad that he would make some effort to face his insecurity and take it to the alter. I wish he would read the counseling books I have read that would teach him how to have a better self image (under scriptural principles) and learn to relinquish that inner need for control.