Submissive Wife

[Marnie]

A Biblical marriage with his/her money?

Why not? A family in my church does that. They are both professionals, both have separate accounts and a joint account, they divide up the bills and each one pulls their share of the load. They run the financial side of their marriage like a buisness. I have heard the teachings of Burkett and the like, and if it was the 50's I'd say their plans work. But for a variety of reasons, tax reasons, legal reasons, sometimes just temperament reasons, the "one size fits all" marriage isn't always the best. Are their specific Bible admonitions about having joint bank accounts I am unaware of?

In my research, "submit" as Paul used it means to "prefer the other person." And also that submission goes both ways, but ultimately the husband is held to a higher standard, esp. in the realm of the spirit. In the area of an unequally yoked marriage, the Christian spouse would have to his/her level best to live according to the Biblical mandate, but the unbelieving spouse is under to obligation to do so as Paul's teachings seem to be directed to a Christian/Christian marriage.

[buckthesystem]

A Biblical marriage with his/her money?

Why not? A family in my church does that. They are both professionals, both have separate accounts and a joint account, they divide up the bills and each one pulls their share of the load. They run the financial side of their marriage like a buisness. I have heard the teachings of Burkett and the like, and if it was the 50's I'd say their plans work. But for a variety of reasons, tax reasons, legal reasons, sometimes just temperament reasons, the "one size fits all" marriage isn't always the best. Are their specific Bible admonitions about having joint bank accounts I am unaware of?

In my research, "submit" as Paul used it means to "prefer the other person." And also that submission goes both ways, but ultimately the husband is held to a higher standard, esp. in the realm of the spirit. In the area of an unequally yoked marriage, the Christian spouse would have to his/her level best to live according to the Biblical mandate, but the unbelieving spouse is under to obligation to do so as Paul's teachings seem to be directed to a Christian/Christian marriage.

"A biblical marriage with his/her money" might work for some people, but you'd have to have absolutely equal (down to the last dollar) incomes, working hours, spending habits, senses of responsibility (i.e. "we need to recarpet the bedroom, but we also want to spend money on new clothes, golf clubs, shoes, car repairs etc.") or there would be resentments.

My husbands wages are more than two thirds as much again as mine and if we were to split every cost as a business would, I would very soon run out of money. Does the "cost sharing" apply to things like food as well? If it was like that in our house, it would be terrible. My husband would be having meat a lot and I would only be able to afford mince or sausages. And what would one party to the marriage do if they found themselves in financial strife? Borrow from the other partner? Gee, I'd always be in debt to my husband.

Yeah, I guess I knew that biblically the word "submit" doesn't really have any awful connotations. It is just that that word conjures up a whole lot of images for me. We'll just have to find another word.

[Smalcald]

I think the word submissive becomes and issue when it is used by the male as some sort of a club. Once again though nothing in scripture gives the male the right to "make" his wife submissive, those passages are directed at the female, if she chooses to be submissive that is her concern, not her husbands, males should look to the passages directed at them, and not worry about making the women toe the line.

I think that today the most important thing is for Christians to maintain intact families, to not divorce and be in healthy loving relationships. If this means in some marriages that the husband does not get to be king of the hill, so be it, we are to submit to each other anyway. From a Christian stand point from what Christ wants it would be far far better to have a non-traditional role for the male and female, than it would be to divorce. Today it often takes both partners in a marriage working to make ends meet. In those cases traditional roles should be re-looked at, if a women is working full time, then the man should be contributing at home in the same manner. As men we can't have it both ways. It is so ironic to me when some divorced men start talking about wanting a

[David from New Bern]

The biblical idea of marriage is stated here...

and said,

[dakota190]

If your husband ask you to not give the 10 percent in the church. Would you give it behind his back?

If your husband forbid you to sing up to help at the church. Would you fight with him over this?

If your husband tells you he don't want childrens after promissing before marrying he would. Would you treat to leave him if he does not change his mind. Consider that this husband is a beliver with just different opinios about thithing, childrens and church.

A todays Christian woman contaminated by feminism would do all those things. Not confined only by the examples above do you agree that feminism has infected the church? It is a satanic power the sin of rebeling against authorities that God has placed over us. I am not saying that if a husband is beating his wife and children or cheating on her that she couldn't leave him.

Is Jesus the head of church ( therefore jesus is the head of the man)and the man the head of household or not?

What has changed in todays society about man being in charge. By defying the family structure God has created from very begining the devil has gaind ground among the people of God. No wonder divorce rate is among belivers not so different than among unbelivers.

Suzana.

not trying to confuse the issue, but the husband, if he is a christian and the spiritual leader of the house, as he is called to be, won't have opinions in opposition to what the Lord has instructed us to do in the Bible. such as tithing, which may be a lack of faith and he is afraid to tithe the 10% for fear of not being able to pay the bills. i am only speculating since i don't know any real details. i am not going to tell you to go behind his back, but rather i suggest you and eventually both of you to take these issues to the pastor or a counselor available through the church. (not a secular counselor, he won't understand the issues) i do know from past experience in the life of this old redneck boy, threats are counter productive. if you threaten (bluff) he may not understand you are expressing your level of frustration. PRAYER!!!! God has saved my marriage so many times, when i have let my alligator mouth overload my sense. (an expression of my degree of frustration) feminism, may have crept into the church in as much as some women, especially those not raised in the church, although not limited to them, have to learn how to be submissive. they have to learn, as do the men that will lead, that being submissive doesn't mean they don't have any opinions, or they become spineless followers walking 3 feet behind the man, while he does whatever he pleases. the man has the responsibility of guiding and deciding according to the word of God. (and if he leads with the proper humility, the wife's input) it seems i read in the bible, i can't remember where, the man will be held accountable for his wifes actions. hopefully, maybe someone reading this can help me out on this last point.

when you speak of rebeling against authorities God placed over us, if the husband is not leading according to the Lord and he knows better, he has the necessary knowledge of what the Lord says, but he prefers to make his own interpretations according to his desires, then he is in rebellion against Jesus. not a good place to be, especially if the man is claiming to be a christian. God Bless and i hope something in this ramble is helpful.

Edited April 22, 2006 by dakota190

[50_Cent's_dog]

If your husband ask you to not give the 10 percent in the church. Would you give it behind his back?

If your husband forbid you to sing up to help at the church. Would you fight with him over this?

If your husband tells you he don't want childrens after promissing before marrying he would. Would you treat to leave him if he does not change his mind. Consider that this husband is a beliver with just different opinios about thithing, childrens and church.

A todays Christian woman contaminated by feminism would do all those things. Not confined only by the examples above do you agree that feminism has infected the church? It is a satanic power the sin of rebeling against authorities that God has placed over us. I am not saying that if a husband is beating his wife and children or cheating on her that she couldn't leave him.

Is Jesus the head of church ( therefore jesus is the head of the man)and the man the head of household or not?

What has changed in todays society about man being in charge. By defying the family structure God has created from very begining the devil has gaind ground among the people of God. No wonder divorce rate is among belivers not so different than among unbelivers.

Suzana.

Nice name!

[Fiosh]

Maybe not exactly the same word (submit), but the same spirit and attitude. If it's good enough for Jesus, it should be something I strive for.

Philippians 2: 3Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, 4 each looking out not for his own interests, but (also) everyone for those of others.

5 Have among yourselves the same attitude that is also yours in Christ Jesus,

6 Who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped.

7 Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance,

8 he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.

Heb 5:8 Son though he was, 6 he learned obedience from what he suffered

Peace,

F

[suzanagimpel]

My husbands wages are more than two thirds as much again as mine

Just calculate what your husband would have to pay you and add to your salary.

A sourrogate mother to care his children for 9 monhts.

A Maid to clean the house.

A grocery shoper who deliver at home.

A clothing shoper who also deliver at home.

A landry and iron helper 3 times a week.

A cook.

A garden worker and designer.

A Baby siter 24/7 for his childrens.

A driver for his childrens.

An instructo for after school for his children.

A financial advisor to manage his money while he is busy working and making money.

So when you are done with these calculations you may rethink what you just said .

Love, Suzana

[vitality22004]

The doctrine pf submission cannot be elevated to a position of being above everything. Wives will generally have no problem in submitting to a husband who loves them as Christ loves the church. When there is differences of opinion and conflict with what God says, what the law of the land is and one's own conscience says, the other principles of God take precedence. There is just common sense: God does not require any woman to submit to something illegal, unlawful or unscriptural. If there is an unbelieving husband and a believing wife, the onus is on the wife to love her husband and lead him to the truth if he chooses to stay with her despite her faith, however, when she is asked to do something contrary to her faith, she needs to seek God's counsel on the way forward. I have seen God create miracles in situations like that.

[David from New Bern]

The doctrine pf submission cannot be elevated to a position of being above everything. Wives will generally have no problem in submitting to a husband who loves them as Christ loves the church. When there is differences of opinion and conflict with what God says, what the law of the land is and one's own conscience says, the other principles of God take precedence. There is just common sense: God does not require any woman to submit to something illegal, unlawful or unscriptural. If there is an unbelieving husband and a believing wife, the onus is on the wife to love her husband and lead him to the truth if he chooses to stay with her despite her faith, however, when she is asked to do something contrary to her faith, she needs to seek God's counsel on the way forward. I have seen God create miracles in situations like that.

I am with you on this...I would only add she needs to be reflective and prayerful and not impulsive and vindictive in her response.