Small engine repair

[Ryan Dillard]

lol yeah gas is definately good to have... esp. these days. Well it was funny that their was so many answers to one problem hope I never have to deal with something like that

[RGR]

Like I said, just get a goat!

[tah]

I have some old friends who have 6 longhorns and a horse..

they never mow....

But they do have to be careful where they walk...

[Leonard]

Okay, I had the same problem when we lived in Phoenix. Here's the steps I took to solve the problem.

1. Check gas.

2. Check oil

3. Check switches, safeties, etc.

4. Mutter under breath.

5. Go to get tools.

6. Run around the house hollering: "Honey; where's the keys to my toolbox?"

7. Unlock box after wife finds keys hanging on key rack where they belong.

8. Mutter under breath while carting tools to mower.

9. Remove and check air filter.

10. Try to be polite to nosey neighbor wanting to engage in long conversation.

11. Start taking engine apart.

12. Try to grunt disinterestedly at nosey neighbor (will he get the idea?).

13. Smash finger because nosey neighbor distracted you; try not to yell at him.

14. Try to totally ignore nosey neighbor, hoping he will leave.

15. Inwardly praise God that he is now leaving.

16. Take carbeurator off, stare blankly at it for long time.

17. As wife brings iced tea, pretend to be working intelligently on carbeurator; about whose mysteries you have utterly no comprehension.

18. Get finger stuck in flap in carbeurator...DO NOT LET WIFE KNOW IT IS STUCK, just pretend you don't want to drink the tea right now.

19. After wife leaves, extract most of finger from carbeurator flap.

20. Wave remainder of finger around in the air while cussing under breath.

21. Repent for cussing.

22. Being quite macho, resist urge for either bandage or tourniquet for finger.

23. Play with flap using another finger; repeat steps 18-22.

24. Learn lesson, go back to using tools instead of remaining fingers.

25. Politely say: "I know Tommy" to 7 year old neighbor boy who comes by to tell you your hand is bleeding.

26. Laugh along with Tommy while he empties his squirt gun in your face.

27. Tell Tommy that you heard his mommy call him.

28. Rack knuckles repeatedly on engine and frame.

29. Cuss with increasing loudness with each rack; repent more sincerely for each bout of cussing.

30. Use of tool suddenly causes several dozen teeny-tiny, oddly grass-colored engine parts to fly all over yard.

31. Cuss. Until the trees wither!

32. Reply to wife, who is now scolding you through the open window: "I'm sorry dear! Yes I know that's not a good testimony.... Yes I want to win the neighbors.... Yes, I was raised better than that.... Yes I know my mother would be ashamed.... Yes I know I'd be in big trouble if the rapture came right now..... I'll try and think of what the children might pick up..... Yes I'll try and hold my patience with the **$%#$$**&& MACHINE!!!" (Wife closes window, goes into intercession for your soul......)

33. Pick up nearest tool; strike mower several times.

34. Not satisfying. Pick up bigger tool; repeatedly beat mower. Kick mower repeatedly while howling due to pain in foot.

35. Get in car, go to yard sales until you find an electric mower for $10.

THIS WORKS EVERY TIME!!!

[WayneB]

Okay, I had the same problem when we lived in Phoenix. Here's the steps I took to solve the problem.

1. Check gas.

2. Check oil

3. Check switches, safeties, etc.

4. Mutter under breath.

5. Go to get tools.

6. Run around the house hollering: "Honey; where's the keys to my toolbox?"

7. Unlock box after wife finds keys hanging on key rack where they belong.

8. Mutter under breath while carting tools to mower.

9. Remove and check air filter.

10. Try to be polite to nosey neighbor wanting to engage in long conversation.

11. Start taking engine apart.

12. Try to grunt disinterestedly at nosey neighbor (will he get the idea?).

13. Smash finger because nosey neighbor distracted you; try not to yell at him.

14. Try to totally ignore nosey neighbor, hoping he will leave.

15. Inwardly praise God that he is now leaving.

16. Take carbeurator off, stare blankly at it for long time.

17. As wife brings iced tea, pretend to be working intelligently on carbeurator; about whose mysteries you have utterly no comprehension.

18. Get finger stuck in flap in carbeurator...DO NOT LET WIFE KNOW IT IS STUCK, just pretend you don't want to drink the tea right now.

19. After wife leaves, extract most of finger from carbeurator flap.

20. Wave remainder of finger around in the air while cussing under breath.

21. Repent for cussing.

22. Being quite macho, resist urge for either bandage or tourniquet for finger.

23. Play with flap using another finger; repeat steps 18-22.

24. Learn lesson, go back to using tools instead of remaining fingers.

25. Politely say: "I know Tommy" to 7 year old neighbor boy who comes by to tell you your hand is bleeding.

26. Laugh along with Tommy while he empties his squirt gun in your face.

27. Tell Tommy that you heard his mommy call him.

28. Rack knuckles repeatedly on engine and frame.

29. Cuss with increasing loudness with each rack; repent more sincerely for each bout of cussing.

30. Use of tool suddenly causes several dozen teeny-tiny, oddly grass-colored engine parts to fly all over yard.

31. Cuss. Until the trees wither!

32. Reply to wife, who is now scolding you through the open window: "I'm sorry dear! Yes I know that's not a good testimony.... Yes I want to win the neighbors.... Yes, I was raised better than that.... Yes I know my mother would be ashamed.... Yes I know I'd be in big trouble if the rapture came right now..... I'll try and think of what the children might pick up..... Yes I'll try and hold my patience with the **$%#$$**&& MACHINE!!!" (Wife closes window, goes into intercession for your soul......)

33. Pick up nearest tool; strike mower several times.

34. Not satisfying. Pick up bigger tool; repeatedly beat mower. Kick mower repeatedly while howling due to pain in foot.

35. Get in car, go to yard sales until you find an electric mower for $10.

THIS WORKS EVERY TIME!!!

Leonard... we must be related somehow. Seems we have the same approach.

[refugepsa91]

Got a push mower? I push mow my yard...almost 2 acres, 22 inches at a time We have a rider, but I don't use it until it gets in the 90's here.

I don't think guys like push mowers though....

Angel

[Scarletprayers]

I have some old friends who have 6 longhorns and a horse..

they never mow....

But they do have to be careful where they walk...

[RGR]

Got a push mower? I push mow my yard...almost 2 acres, 22 inches at a time We have a rider, but I don't use it until it gets in the 90's here.

I don't think guys like push mowers though....

Angel

Angel, I pushed mowed our acre here for quite a while, lol! Now I do use a riding mower but I can push mow if it comes right down to it!

PS: Leonard, are we long lost brothers or something? Of course, here in the country I could skip the nosy neighbor part, lol!

[Matthitjah]

Leonard,

Thanks for a good hard laugh. You, Wayne, and I must seriously be related.

PUSH MOWER? I am not push mowing almost 3 acres. Angel you must be some kinda women. You and my wife would get along like Aces in a deck. My wife will probably begin to push mow sometime this afternoon if this thing isn't running by then. Then when she's finished? She will do cartwheels just for exercise.

The coil is on order. I will have it sometime around noon tomorrow. Until then, I'm gonna go stare at the open top of the engine while sipping some Iced tea. Just like Leonard, I'm gonna pretend I know what I'm doing to impress the neighbors. Then I'm gonna seriously repent for cutting all those Shop Classes in High School. Dear Jesus please forgive me.

P.S. The goat is no option. A cat and a Dog are way past enough for me. Matter of fact I am reminded of the two Goldfish that my kids promised to clean up after and just how dirty their poor bowl is right now. Goat droppings, yeesh!

Peace,

Dave

[refugepsa91]

PUSH MOWER? I am not push mowing almost 3 acres. Angel you must be some kinda women. You and my wife would get along like Aces in a deck. My wife will probably begin to push mow sometime this afternoon if this thing isn't running by then. Then when she's finished? She will do cartwheels just for exercise.

Your wife sounds like my kinda person We have a walkout basement on the end of our house...so we have two pretty steep hills to mow....so my hubby went out and bought me a self propelled mower last year....woo-hoo!!!! I love it, it keeps me running on the flat ground and I barely have to push it up-hill...hubby laughs at me on the when I'm mowing flat ground...he says the mower pulls me I like to have the "lines" in the yard go different ways everytime I mow...sometimes straight to the road and others diagonally to the road....I know I'm weird

Angel