How do you forgive?

[Candi770]

Every time the devil brings the person up to me: I pray out Loud, blessing the person. I find that the devil doesn't bring the person up much.

Once, I had a big issue with someone: but I continued to pray. I had a dream that I heard her voice in the distance and I refused to see her face: she knocked and open the door: I was upset: then I looked on the garment she was wearing and it had Jesus name all over it: I realized that she was saved. I ran to the back of the room and someone in the room was looking at me: I knew in my heart I had forgiven her: then I said out loud what do I do now: I heard you just have to go on... I did find out she did accept the Lord as her savior.

blessings

candi

[Sanyo]

How do you forgive someone who was very cruel to you? I have prayed, I have acted my way through it, but this person still brings back feelings of grief and betrayal, no matter what. I know it is necessary (in many ways) to forgive them but I just don't know how to get over the way this person hurt me.

Well, I think you forgive them the same way God forgave you. We didn't deserve the forgiving grace of God through Jesus Christ. but we got it anyway.

Matthew 26:28

This is my blood of the new covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.

Ephesians 1:7

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace

Matthew 5:43-44

"43You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.'44But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

God Bless

Billy

[LadyRaven]

How do you forgive someone who was very cruel to you? I have prayed, I have acted my way through it, but this person still brings back feelings of grief and betrayal, no matter what. I know it is necessary (in many ways) to forgive them but I just don't know how to get over the way this person hurt me.

Forgiveness is basically in one sense is letting go so that you no longer require the person who has wronged you to make restitution.

Sometimes in order to do this you have to seriously stare your wound in the face. Really look at it and see what they have done. Cry over it, because if you don't acknowledge how deep it really is, then you don't realise exactly how much you are givng up when you forgive.

I had to deal with this once in relation to Dad's alcoholism. I'd "forgiven" him man times and felt I no longer had the right to having hurt feelings and yet I still did. I never completely mourned the loss of the relationship we could have had but didn't. Thus I couldn't let go of all of it.

How well have you mourned what you have lost in relationship to this person?

[nebula]

Bump

[apothanein kerdos]

How do you forgive someone who was very cruel to you? I have prayed, I have acted my way through it, but this person still brings back feelings of grief and betrayal, no matter what. I know it is necessary (in many ways) to forgive them but I just don't know how to get over the way this person hurt me.

With a good dose of humility.

Anytime we struggle with forgiveness, we must remind ourselves of the stench that God has forgiven us for. Whatever is done to us is nothing close to what we have done to God, and likewise whatever sin was committed against us was likewise committed against God...if He is capable of forgiving them when He is aboslutely Holy and Justified, then we who are fallen should be all the more ready to forgive the one who shares our predicament.

[tah]

I do not know how helpful this will be to you but I have found that many many time when I have struggled with unforgivness toward someone I would find myself in the same offending state they were in..

and offend someone else the way I was offended...

sigh...

Gal 6:1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

I think that is God's way of letting me know I am not above the same offense and I needed to know it..

I sure do wish I were more teachable than to always have to learn the hard way...

[Guest stegokitty]

How do you forgive someone who was very cruel to you? I have prayed, I have acted my way through it, but this person still brings back feelings of grief and betrayal, no matter what. I know it is necessary (in many ways) to forgive them but I just don't know how to get over the way this person hurt me.

Interestingly enough, no one in their reply has asked you the obvious question -- did the offending party ASK you to forgive them?

[Scarletprayers]

How do you forgive someone who was very cruel to you? I have prayed, I have acted my way through it, but this person still brings back feelings of grief and betrayal, no matter what. I know it is necessary (in many ways) to forgive them but I just don't know how to get over the way this person hurt me.

Interestingly enough, no one in their reply has asked you the obvious question -- did the offending party ASK you to forgive them?

The party asking for forgiveness has nothing to do with us letting it go. When Jesus was crucified, the people doing it didn't ask for forgiveness, but He gave it anyway.

[Guest LivingWater]

Interestingly enough, no one in their reply has asked you the obvious question -- did the offending party ASK you to forgive them?

No. The offender is hyper-defensive and cannot accept their part in the problem. This is what makes it hard for me to move on.

I have grieved the loss of the relationship, but I am still angry that this person behaved the way they did. It is a family member, so I am not able to just lose contact. I can remain civil, and she is civil towards me usually, but I still just despise being around her!

Forgiving them does not mean we are reconciled because that takes action from BOTH parties. And forgiving them does not mean that I must or should trust them again.

Yeah, but if you don't have a reconciled relationship, then I think you don't really forgive them, either. Like other times, when I have truly forgiven someone, even if what they did was really awful, it was like I just didn't mind anymore. I just accepted their weakness and felt that it was a failing and moved on. But I know that I don't forgive this person, even if I say I do, because I don't accept her weakness and failings. I think she should be better. She is also a Christian, and that also makes me think she should be better. If I forgave her, we really would have a reconciled relationship, because it wouldn't bother me anymore. It would just be like, "Well, you know, that's Suzy, I don't like that about her, but oh well." I'm sure I wouldn't extend trust to her where she breached it before, but I wouldn't feel like I just -yuck! - don't even want to be around her because she isn't the person I thought she was.

I don't know. I think the Bible confuses this issue, too, because Jesus showed a level of forgiveness that was unheard of earlier. So, then I think that is how we need to be. But there's a practical side of it, too. If you know the dog bites when you take it's bone away, it makes good sense to stop taking it's bone away.

[DInsights]

If a child walks up to you to ask "How or what do you do to forgive someone?", what would be your reply?

How does God forgive sins? Can we forgive sins without doing it God's way? If Scritpture teaches that without blood there is no forgiveness of sins...whose blood do you use to forgive sins against you?

Again, how did you forgive that friend who offended you recently?