Remarrying after a Divorce....is it forbidden?

[Snowdrop]

quoting Butero: At the same time, no Christian should knowingly break God's laws, and the only way to be forgiven for any sin is to be truly sorry. In other words, saying in your mind, I will break God's law today and re-marry and ask forgiveness afterward is not to be repentant.

I think Jesus well defined true repentance when He told the woman caught in adultery to 'go and sin no more.'

[firehill]

Let's say there is this women who get's married while very young and is a drug addict and alcoholic the whole time of her marriage and she turns out to be a God awful wife because of the drugs and alcohol and lack of maturity. Then she falls into commiting adultery on her husband because she is hanging out at bars for the booze and ends up sleeping with different men while being drunk at the time.

Then she sobers up and feels guilty about it all and feels like she must not love her husband or else she wouldn't have done that so she ends up leaving her husband and goes out on her own still a druggy and boozer. The marriage only lasts two short years. And her husband gives her a divorce. And also gets remarried to another women and has three kids by his new wife.

Let's say this women done all of this while she was still a sinner not knowing God at all nor His word at the time.

Then she get saved in church and really get's right with God and then she remarries again to another christian who has never been married before.

Now is the women in sin of adultery because she remarries again?

And is the man in which married this previously divorced women in adultery because he married her?

Or are they both in an adulterous state in the marriage all the time now?

Or are they both in a right relationship with God in this type of situation?

Are they second class saints because of getting married?

Can they be used of God in ministry?

What is your opinions in this type situation?OC

No

No

No

YES

No

YES

The situation you presented brings to the table many different factors in which other situations of this thread have not. All situations still boil down to only two overarching principles: spiritual matters of the heart (regarding adultery and abandonment)and God forgives all sin except the one of blasphemy against the spirit.

Alright, you said above that "ALL" situations still boil down to only two overarching principles: spiritual matters of the heart (regarding adultery and abandonment).

Now by saying this I take it to mean that the only two grounds you see for divorce is adultery and abandonment. Which as far as I see alot of things can be added to the meaning of adultery situations and to the abandonment side. For example on the adultery side of things what can be added into the meaning or classified as adultery. I think alot of this is going on in order to justify their own selves to be released from the marriage. For example I know of a women who divorce her husband because he watched pornography. Now I certainly in no way shape or form endorse this practice but that is not adultery. It may be the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes but it is not a physical act of commiting adultery with another women physically and was not a grounds for her to divorce and leave her husband. Now why I certainly can understand her feelings and even the rejection she may have felt by it all it still did not give her a right to leave and divorce her husband.

There are many things that can get within our hearts and minds but not everything is acted or carried out such as looking on a women to lust after her sure the lust and thoughts are within the person as they are thinking these things and it is a manifestation of what is in their hearts to do but is not outwardly manifested or carried out physically and they have not sinned or commited adultery. but if that lust is allowed to stay and fester in their hearts and is not dealt with it can lead to commiting the act of adultery. Having wondering lustful eyes is not grounds for divorce although I certainly can feel for women in this regards. So we have to be careful what we add into adultery and abandonment in order to justify oneself it leave and divorce their spouse.

OC

Sins of the heart cannot be skirted around. Either Jesus said that having lustful eyes towards a woman is not adultery or he said that if a man merely looks at another woman with lustful intent he is committing adultry. Such men need to clean the inside of the cup and not just the outside. Fact, what is important to God is the heart and not mere outside appearances.

'I think alot of this is going on in order to justify their own selves to be released from the marriage. For example I know of a women who divorce her husband because he watched pornography.' Again this would be also a matter of the heart regarding the woman as far as God is concerned for why a woman would divorce such a husband because he watched pornography. Did she divorce him because he was comitting adultery or not?

[Openly Curious]

Let's say there is this women who get's married while very young and is a drug addict and alcoholic the whole time of her marriage and she turns out to be a God awful wife because of the drugs and alcohol and lack of maturity. Then she falls into commiting adultery on her husband because she is hanging out at bars for the booze and ends up sleeping with different men while being drunk at the time.

Then she sobers up and feels guilty about it all and feels like she must not love her husband or else she wouldn't have done that so she ends up leaving her husband and goes out on her own still a druggy and boozer. The marriage only lasts two short years. And her husband gives her a divorce. And also gets remarried to another women and has three kids by his new wife.

Let's say this women done all of this while she was still a sinner not knowing God at all nor His word at the time.

Then she get saved in church and really get's right with God and then she remarries again to another christian who has never been married before.

Now is the women in sin of adultery because she remarries again?

And is the man in which married this previously divorced women in adultery because he married her?

Or are they both in an adulterous state in the marriage all the time now?

Or are they both in a right relationship with God in this type of situation?

Are they second class saints because of getting married?

Can they be used of God in ministry?

What is your opinions in this type situation?OC

No

No

No

YES

No

YES

The situation you presented brings to the table many different factors in which other situations of this thread have not. All situations still boil down to only two overarching principles: spiritual matters of the heart (regarding adultery and abandonment)and God forgives all sin except the one of blasphemy against the spirit.

Alright, you said above that "ALL" situations still boil down to only two overarching principles: spiritual matters of the heart (regarding adultery and abandonment).

Now by saying this I take it to mean that the only two grounds you see for divorce is adultery and abandonment. Which as far as I see alot of things can be added to the meaning of adultery situations and to the abandonment side. For example on the adultery side of things what can be added into the meaning or classified as adultery. I think alot of this is going on in order to justify their own selves to be released from the marriage. For example I know of a women who divorce her husband because he watched pornography. Now I certainly in no way shape or form endorse this practice but that is not adultery. It may be the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes but it is not a physical act of commiting adultery with another women physically and was not a grounds for her to divorce and leave her husband. Now why I certainly can understand her feelings and even the rejection she may have felt by it all it still did not give her a right to leave and divorce her husband.

There are many things that can get within our hearts and minds but not everything is acted or carried out such as looking on a women to lust after her sure the lust and thoughts are within the person as they are thinking these things and it is a manifestation of what is in their hearts to do but is not outwardly manifested or carried out physically and they have not sinned or commited adultery. but if that lust is allowed to stay and fester in their hearts and is not dealt with it can lead to commiting the act of adultery. Having wondering lustful eyes is not grounds for divorce although I certainly can feel for women in this regards. So we have to be careful what we add into adultery and abandonment in order to justify oneself it leave and divorce their spouse.

OC

Sins of the heart cannot be skirted around. Either Jesus said that having lustful eyes towards a woman is not adultery or he said that if a man merely looks at another woman with lustful intent he is committing adultry. Such men need to clean the inside of the cup and not just the outside. Fact, what is important to God is the heart and not mere outside appearances.

'I think alot of this is going on in order to justify their own selves to be released from the marriage. For example I know of a women who divorce her husband because he watched pornography.' Again this would be also a matter of the heart regarding the woman as far as God is concerned for why a woman would divorce such a husband because he watched pornography. Did she divorce him because he was comitting adultery or not?

firehill,

I think the women in which I was referring to wanted out of the marriage from the start as she wasn't happy with the marriage. However you want to look at it the man was still willing to live with his wife and though he was partaking of something he should not have been doing and one can say he was committing adultery in his heart. But there was no uncleanness as he did not commit adultery with another women physically as he was still one with his wife sexually he brought no uncleanness to the marriage bed though sin may have been lurking at his hearts door.

If a man goes and sleep physically with another women or several women for that matter and comes home and sleeps with his wife and she doesn't know he has been sleeping with other women well he brings uncleanness to their bed and possibly disease and I personally would not want to sleep with a man who has been with other women because of uncleanness be spread. It simply is not clean.

In the example I mentioned it was the women who left her husband because of pornography nothing else and gave him a divorce. Now it is very plain to see that the husband was there sexually for his wife and did not commit outward acts of adultery physically on her. It was she who broke the marriage vows and abandoned him when she left him and gave him a divorce to find another husband.

The marriage vow she took was for richer or poorer sickness and in health she vowed to stay with him in the good times and in the bad times for the rest of her life but when hard times came she left him and not that he left her. So she broke the marriage vows not he in my opinion in this particular situation.

So what I mean by adding into what is considered to be "adultery" and considered to be "abandonment" has to be done carefully as scripture is talking about the physical act of adultery and the uncleanness it brings into the marriage bed as it is no longer just two people sharing each others bodies between the two but it becomes the sharing of multiple partners in some cases.

And abandonment simply means leaving behind to depart and this mean physically not inwardly but physically get up and go and leaving spouse and kids behind forsaking your marriage vows and commitment that you made for better or worse richer or poorer sickness and in health.

OC

[Openly Curious]

Here is my contribution to this thread: If one feels they are being physicaly or even mentaly abused such is grounds for divorce as is unfaithfulness. Afterall, Christ sacrificaly died for his Bride and couldn't conceive of abusing her. In other words generaly speaking divine judgement is against those who would advocate that a spouse MUST stay in such an abusive relationship.

Amen!

After all, there are so many marriages where the husband virtually hates his wife! He is called to love her! If he abdicates this duty commanded him, then there is no basis for a marriage. He has already broken his vows.

This contribution is sorely lacking in that it is not based on scripture. There is no scripture that says that if a man fails to love his wife, thus breaking a vow, the wife can get a divorce and re-marry. The only Biblical grounds are fornication and abandonment. To add to this is to add to God's Word, and those that follow unBiblical council like this will have to give an account to Christ at the judgement.

Well...I would not be staying joined to a man who hates me..or beats me..or rapes me. I believe God would want me out of that situation for good. He is sovereign over me and He is my husband.

Hello float,

I emphatize with a women who doesn't feel loved by her husband but that is not grounds for divorce. For to abandon a husband and giving him a divorce for hating you is to break your own marriage vows and not the husband who does not love his wife inwardly. As I said in another post the marriage vow was for better or worse richer or poorer sickness and in health till death do you part. Hating is bad but not a grounds for divorce and a good women can use her femine whiles to regain her husbands love in so many cases and put the spark back in their marriages if they only would have the right kinds of attitudes. If my husband hated me I would want to know why and get to the root cause of it all and pull it up when I found it instead of accepting everything I would want to fix it.

Now in the cases of beating and rape no one should have to put up with this kind of behavior in these cases it could literally mean life and death and should not be toyed with if you are being physically hurt and attacked get out get help and call the law press charges against your spouse and if you have kids it is your responsibility to see to it that those kids are protected above all else because this is what is known as assault and battery and it is against the law and you and the kids should be protected. Sometimes things have to be suffered for the better good of things. Matthew 19:9

But every nick picky thing that goes on in marriages that is not liked by the opposite spouse is not grounds for divorce as so many are doing these days. But in serious situations don't hesitate is where i stand on this issue.

OC

[Floatingaxe]

how in the world can someone prove "adultery in one's heart?"

Don't you think that a man who has an addiction to pornography is committing adultery in his heart? I do.

I know a couple where the husband was caught up in it, and they are both strong believers in Jesus Christ, yet he was plagued with this habit. He confessed to his wife numerous times. The wife finally told him that if he didn't give the problem over to God once and for all, she was going to ask him to leave the home, as she was being constantly sinned against.

She would have been within her rights to do that, and I am pleased for them that he finally did get the help he needed from the Lord and within the Body of Christ and they are happy together once again.

Blessings!

[Guest christiansloveisrael]

For those of you that have read my last msg posted regarding the way i was raised in a Pencostal church and then later in life began attending a Baptist church with my husband at the time ....hopefully knowing the background teachings i have had will explain why i am curious to know what other's believe here as far as if it's okay or not ok for someone to remarry after a divorce.

i do know according to God''s word that there are certain situations where it's allowed and where it's not.

Here is one way i was taught in a church that i attended many years ago:

His word states that if any man divorces his wife (except for fornication)[/i] and marry's another commits adultry. i have heard it explained that if two divorce because either one or the other has been unfaithful...that "act of unfaithfulness" in God's eye leaves both free to remarry due the sexual sin has broken the yoke between them and therefore it is okay if they divorce and remarry. But only in that situation. Otherwise, they are bound to the other until death separates them, whether they divorce or not. Mainly because that one act of joining their bodies to another ---other than their mate---- is the only grounds God will accept as reason to divorce and permits remarriage.

Yet i have also heard that remarriage is only permitted for the partner that was faithful, but the unfaithful partner is not permitted to remarry.

So is God's word clear on which party is permitted to remarry? Are both free to remarry because that one act of unfaithfulness severed that bond?

Just interested in getting more insight to this subject.

in Christ,

robin

I don't believe in divorce...as it was not so from the beginning. But REALISTICALLY...divorces happen and Christians make mistakes too. We are not perfect remember...that's why we are Christians. If you made a past mistake in marrying someone you never should have...repent of that sin...ask Christ to forgive you...and set your heart anew to live a Biblical marriage THIS TIME AROUND. I know my old minister is a God-fearing man, divorced and is remarried. I'm not saying it is right...but I think that he confessed his sins to the Lord and now Jesus has consumated his new marriage...so long as they live it Biblically. Hope that helps my sister!

[Guest christiansloveisrael]

THAT MEANS NO MORE DIVORCE!!! FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE...TILL DEATH TO US PART...UNDER GOD!!!

[Smalcald]

I think the philosophical and more difficult question surrounding divorce though is the next step. If you believe that God indeed allows no exceptions for marriage then all divorce would be a sin for both parties, AND any remarriage would be adultery. The question then becomes of course that indeed we are forgiven for any sin if we are truly sorry and repent, but if we leave our wife for another women and then marry her, are we not in continual unrepentant sin by being in this second marriage?

Under the idea that divorce is always sin, under that idea, remarriage would not be allowed, part of the repentance would be two choices, be reconciled to your true husband or wife, or never re-marry and live chastely being faithful to him or her even if you are not together.

I think this is the hard thing and crux of the issue. It would seem that a second marriage particularly for a cheater, who left their spouse, would simply be a continual reward for sin. If you rob a store, you can repent and be forgiven, but if you do that do you still get to keep the money you stole?

Let me say, I don't have a definitive scriptural answer beyond that I do believe that Christ Himself gave us an exception, that if your husband or wife commits adultery you can divorce. But I don't know the answer to these complex questions dealing with re-marriage and divorce, but it does bring up some interesting discussion surrounding the nature of repentance and the nature of marriage itself.

[Smalcald]

Hmmm, well maybe but that is very roundabout.

We have direct guidance from Christ that we are to be married once and can divorce for reasons of adultery by the person we marry (not by us).

Outside of that I don't see any scriptural support for remarriage. In fact Christ specifically says if you marry someone else after divorce you and they would be committing adultery. So, is that really repentance? If I meet someone who I am attracted to and am already married, why not divorce and marry her, then repent? Planned repentance though is not repentance, in that case I have shown I am not sorry for my sin, in fact I am happy about my sin I am reveling in it and my new women.

[Smalcald]

Christ's teaching on divorce and remarriage were so difficult that His disciples said that then it is better to not marry! Christ responded that for some this is indeed true. I know what you are saying foc particularly for those who come to Christ after having gone through one or more divorces and are now remarried. I think that is different. But what of the confessing believer who seeks to leave his wife and take up with another? Is this evidence of faith to remarry after adultery to continue in that adultery? I don