Need some Godly advice

[passiondaze]

Can anybody help me...I am so confused...I hope this doesn't get too long and confusing.

OK...I am not sure if it is me or my husband who is confused. I have been taking my grandkids with me to church...I work in childrens church. They have lived 300 miles from me for the past 3 years and I have been praying for a long time they would all move back this way...God is faithful...they moved back up here about a month ago. Since then my grandkids have been going to church with me. I have also been praying for my daughter and son-in-law to start going to church...I know they will...in time. OK...here is the problem or situation...my husband says I am interfering and I should let my son-in-law be the spiritual leader of his house and take his own kids to church...not me. I have been praying that the kids will be a witness to their mom and dad...God works through kids all the time. My husband says I should not go and get the kids anymore...let their parents take them...when I get the kids, I am acting in unbelief. But if I don't take the kids, how are they going to be a witness? I would love nothing more than for my daughter and son-in-law to take those kids to church but am I suppose to stop taking them and wait for their parents to take them?

I really don't think I am wrong here...am I? Even when I was having this very heated discussion with my husband, he yelled at me..."I am the spiritual leader of this house and you will submit to me." I told him he was very confused and then he said "Get thee behind me Satan." I just don't know what to do. I didn't even go to church today and I lied to my grandkids and told them I had a bad headache and I wasn't going today. I am so confused.

I love Jesus and I want to do what is right...I love my husband and my grandkids. I want them to keep on going with me to church so they can learn more and more about Jesus.

Am I wrong for taking them...is it a form of unbelief for me to take them until their parents start taking them? Do you think my husband is right saying that to me? I don't feel like I am listening to Satan. Can someone out there give me some advice?

[Guest lovinghim4ever]

I don't believe you are wrong for taking your grandkids to church with you.

I've known many people who have taken other people's kids to church.

As far as your husband - I don't understand how any Christian would want to

deny anyone from going to church; no matter how they get there.

That's just my opinion.

[Northern lass]

As long as the parents agree and the children want to go with you, I don't see why you shouldn't take them and keep praying that eventually they will be able to go as a family.

I will pray for your husband.

[JesusisGod2]

As long as the parents agree and the children want to go with you, I don't see why you shouldn't take them and keep praying that eventually they will be able to go as a family.

I will pray for your husband.

I totally agree with this statement.

[AnExample]

Can anybody help me...I am so confused...I hope this doesn't get too long and confusing.

OK...I am not sure if it is me or my husband who is confused. I have been taking my grandkids with me to church...I work in childrens church. They have lived 300 miles from me for the past 3 years and I have been praying for a long time they would all move back this way...God is faithful...they moved back up here about a month ago. Since then my grandkids have been going to church with me. I have also been praying for my daughter and son-in-law to start going to church...I know they will...in time. OK...here is the problem or situation...my husband says I am interfering and I should let my son-in-law be the spiritual leader of his house and take his own kids to church...not me. I have been praying that the kids will be a witness to their mom and dad...God works through kids all the time. My husband says I should not go and get the kids anymore...let their parents take them...when I get the kids, I am acting in unbelief. But if I don't take the kids, how are they going to be a witness? I would love nothing more than for my daughter and son-in-law to take those kids to church but am I suppose to stop taking them and wait for their parents to take them?

I really don't think I am wrong here...am I? Even when I was having this very heated discussion with my husband, he yelled at me..."I am the spiritual leader of this house and you will submit to me." I told him he was very confused and then he said "Get thee behind me Satan." I just don't know what to do. I didn't even go to church today and I lied to my grandkids and told them I had a bad headache and I wasn't going today. I am so confused.

I love Jesus and I want to do what is right...I love my husband and my grandkids. I want them to keep on going with me to church so they can learn more and more about Jesus.

Am I wrong for taking them...is it a form of unbelief for me to take them until their parents start taking them? Do you think my husband is right saying that to me? I don't feel like I am listening to Satan. Can someone out there give me some advice?

Passionatedaze-

There are several points I hope I can make in response to your statements...

When I was young my parents allowed me to go to church with my Uncle and Aunt. At eleven years old, God pricked my heart and I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. My Uncle was (he's deceased now) the instrument God used to save me--to take me to hear the word. There's a scripture that comes to mind...How can they hear unless they have heard? It's reference is to the Great Commission, but I believe it applies here. Further, God has also used me to minister to my parents-to teach them deeper things in Christ Jesus, which has served to turn around a lot the their thinking (beliefs) as it pertains to God and His word (they always believed the lied that the bible was written by men who were trying to control you). Now, they are seeing God's word as inspired by Him through men--as it is. Mine you, the fruit of my uncle's work (as it pertains to them) did not begin to show the harvest for nearly 40 years.

As it pertains to interfering -- you are not interfering if your daughter and son-in-law have expressed no objection. It is true that your son-in-law, as head of his house, should be the spiritual leader. But, if he nor your daughter have stood in the gap for your grandchildren, you must. I believe that is why God has saw fit to relocate them to the area with you. If it were not part of his divine plan, they would still be living where they were. The word says we are to train up children. That process occurs when they are young, not as adults when their opinions are vastly affected by the world's views.

As it pertains to your husband -- What I will say, I say in love and respect of your husband's position as head of your house. So, bare with me as I attempt to walk through this mine field. There is a saying, "Follow me, as I follow God." Remember, the greatest commandments...to love the Lord, your God, with all your heard, soul and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself. In this case, your neighbor is your husband. Also, remember, that we war not against flesh and blood, but against powers and principalities, etc. Also, I want to steer you toward the objectives of the powers and principalities, etc. that are operating in this world. Then I want to remind you that the battle is the Lords and we know who ultimately gets the victory, Jesus Christ. Next I want to remind you that the war is between God and satan...satan has an agenda that doesn't line up with God's.

Having said all of that...there are spirits that are operating here (using your husband). One is a spirit of jealousy. You said that you prayed for your daughter and her family to move closer (God hears the prayers of the righteous.). Given that they lived 300 miles away, you (both of you) had not the benefit or pleasure of their company. Now, the children are interfering with your (you and your husband's) time. He's not used to having to share you. He's having to do that weekly. He's having to make adjustments that he doesn't really want to make. Reflect on how he handled the relationship between you and your daughter as you were mothering her. I recall my husband feeling let out because prior to the children coming, we shared most of our time together without interference from anyone else. I believe your husband is "right" in the natural sense. Their parents should be taking them to church! But, from the spiritual perspective, you should be the intercessory as God intended by the arrangement He has orgestrated.

The reason I am taking this position is because of the backlash of what your husband has asked you to do. #1 you didn't go to church, #2 you lied about why, #3 you are agonizing over the situation, which could root anger and bitterness, #4 it's causing a divide between you and your husband (obviously you both want to walk in the Lord). All of these things cause confusion and division. New flash God is not the author of lies...satan is; God is not the father of anger or bitterness...satan is; God is about love...satan is about division.

Perhaps, your husband could speak to your son-in-law about his headship/leadership over his family. If your son-in-law is not saved, this conversation will be to no avail; however, if he is, he might say "yes" to take the responsibility off you. Then you will have to establish another day to spend quality time with your grandchildren...and if your husband does have a spirit of jealously, it will rear it's ugly head again when you change the quality day and time you spend with them. I would suggest (if you are not working) that you do it at a time when your husband is a work. If he is retired...as I stated, jealousy will rear its ugly head again, and then your husband will have to deal with it. Yes, we as wives are to make our husbands our primary focus, but I can't believe that Godly men are so self-focused (another trick of the enemy) that they would deny their wives an opportunity to be nurturers in the lives of their grandchildren.

Submit means to "yield to the way of." Your husband will have to answer to God for the decisions he makes. You have acted in the "right manner." However, the backlash caused you to fall/sin, from which you must repent. Refer to bold paragraph above. You must always pray for your husband, children, and grandchildren. You teach your daughter by allowing her to see your example. Remember, the word says that the older women must teach the younger women. They learn by what they see, not by what you say. It may not feel comfortable, but God will give you strength and he will bless you for it.

I pray this helps!

Your sister in Christ Jesus

Edited January 21, 2007 by AnExample

[RustyAngeL]

As long as the parents agree and the children want to go with you, I don't see why you shouldn't take them and keep praying that eventually they will be able to go as a family.

I will pray for your husband.

I totally agree with this statement.

I believe your doing the right thing too. Keep praying for their parents and let the Holy Spirit do His work.

[kat8585]

When my grandkids were little, I took them to church when I could, as their parents never did. As long as the parents say you can, I see nothing wrong with it. I don't understand your husband's hostility, especially yelling at you what he did. And frankly, I don't believe you have to "obey" him on this.

[Floatingaxe]

passiondaze:

In a nutshell, you have displayed the heart of an evangelist toward your grandchildren and children. Your husband is in error and actually acting as a hindrance to the work of the Holy Spirit here. Do not allow him to do that. He cannot make you go against what you believe God is calling you to do.

Your children and grandchildren will rise up one day and bless you for your faithful witness and diligence in making sure those children heard the Word of God during a time when their parents didn't have it in them.

Good for you, Praise to the Lord! God will bless you if you persevere!

[utopia]

In my opinion, you should continue to take them to church - before they get old enough to say "I don't need church". My in-laws took our 4 yr old son to church and God used that to speak to me about my own responsibility to take him myself. After a while, my husband joined us in church! We are retired from work but not from the Lord and still go to church regularly, and our son and his wife minister in their church. Teach a child while he is young.....

[Zceiv]

As long as the parents agree and the children want to go with you, I don't see why you shouldn't take them and keep praying that eventually they will be able to go as a family.

I will pray for your husband.

I agree