Has anyone lost a loved one that was very close to them?

[message]

Hi! MeCajunboy...

It must have taken a lot of pain, to write out how you feel.. Thank you!..

It does make it a little bit easier, to know how to answer you....

I lost my Mum, just over eight years ago now..

We were always very close , as it sounds like you were with your Mum..

I always put a capital letter, at the start of that word..also with Dad...

Well to me, having such Golden ones..They were real Special people..

And a great honour not only to know them,

but to have the honour of being their daughter too...

I lost my Dad, four years before my Mum died...

Now I will try very hard, to answer your question...here goes..

Well of course, we are all different..and react..so vastly, from one another..

But I will tell you how I have found it..

When I lost Mum....it was as if the world closed in on me..

Like the sun had hidden away behind the clouds..perhaps never, to be seen again..

An end of an Era..

Because my Mum, was the last part of the main relatives..

That we were oh! so close to...We had a run of Cancer in our family..

So when Mum left....

I just cried and cried...As is usually, at the start of loss...

It is peculiar, the things that begin to hurt..

Like, my mum,used to go to a day centre..slowely and slowely,

she went more days..so in the end she was going 6 days a week..

So when it was nearing the time, that would have been her being brought home,

from the day centre...I made sure that I was out..usually around the shops...

It upset me greatly..so much so, that I used to go in the library..in the end..

and stay there until they shut..which was about two hours after,

she would have usually been home.

I had a hard job keeping the tears away..and used to hide behind a book..

walking home..I just used to cry , not bothered that anyone saw me either..

Yes it is hard..Very hard.. and after, these eight years or so...

I have found..that I still miss her just as much as that first day..

And there are times, when I still shed tears too....

It hurts yes it hurts..deep deep down.. it will always hurt...

It is the most natural reaction to have..

When one has been, soooooo! very close to someone..

Whom one loved with all ones heart..

Time is a greater healer..But it will never cure broken hearts though..And I think the main reason for that is.. that the Lord, allows the scars to remain..so that through them, we are able to comfort others whom too.. have had their hearts broken as well...

I mean to say.. if the scars healed about any thing that we have gone through..how on earth to could we know , 'just how to', reach out and try and comfort anothers sorrows.. we just wouldn't know where to start would we..And Worthy Boards wouldn't be here either.. because if we had any posts in.. we just wouldn't know the 'HOW TO', would we..

Praise God for scars, Is what I say..I have been able to reach out and grab so many

peoples hands and sit and listen to them..and hopefully comfort them..and write them letters afterwards.. sometimes too..

Well if scars healed up..Then we wouldn't have had the chance to meet would we..

and this bit of paper.. would just be blank.. with my name at the bottom wouldn't it..

Thats why we still hurt I think..We will always miss that person..But I think the utter sadful yearning, for them.. slowely little by little goes away..It can come back yes..

But some days will be better than others..and as we, slowely acclimatize, ourselves to the new order of life....

We will very slowely find ourselves..Accepting, 'THE NOW', of things, adapting and adjusting,

and for some of us.. we might find that time will bring true adjustment..to our lives..

whose to know?

' I don't know what the future holds,

But I know who holds the future..

Amen...

But the thing that I have found is..

Time heals--the--great--big--zipping--through-- you--pain,

which gets at you, and makes one feel, that one couldn't possible,

live very long with that sort of tearing pain..

It feels like it is shredding one, into little tiny pieces....

Oh! No!! I can't bear it, this emotion this pain..It's far too much..

And of course it is...Too Much!!

The one thing that upsets me..

Is when you read about people, having lost someone close,

whom they shared a home with....

And probably, within about 6 months to a year, onwards..

They not only have thrown or given everything away..that reminded them

of the person..........But have actually Moved right away too!!

Horror of Horrors....

If only they had not been so hasty..if only they had waited a little while longer...

before they did what they did..

What they have been through, is part of the mourning process....

But the strange thing is....The things that remind you of that person..

Those Very things..that you just cannot bear, to even look at, at the moment..

Because of the searing pain..and memories...that come and hit your heart so painfully..

Will, in a certian length of time..and lengths of time are different for everyone..

But those things that you couldn't bear to look at then..because the sadness that they brought to you.....Those Very things..when one has got over the great shock of now living with this huge black gap in your life now..Which has no-one living, in that gap..

Those very things.. in time..Not only will bring one, great great comfort..

That you still have them in your life with you...that that person, you lost,

also loved, those things so very much too..and so did you,

will in time..Fill your life with a great gentle sweetness, and gentleness..And in some way one will still be able to share them, with that person..too!

Some times, there can be a bitter-sweet, about them..but more..they will reassure comfort,and be a great joy in your life, after all..

And if they moved away.. then all, of the people you knew together..will be gone.. Even down to the friendly postman..or people who owned the shops you buy from..

I can think of anything, more..disastrous.. I really couldn't..

You ask, very kindly.. that whoever writes to you.. mention their lost loved ones so you could pray for them..How kind of you..............

The only thing is my list would be rather long..

As God knows all things...Could you please mention my name..message.. God knows all names..He will know who you mean..if you could just ask that he look after my lost loves..in the way you mentioned.. It really would be a great Blessing to me..To have someone else do that very thing for me..In fact I really couldn't think of any thing nicer..to ask of anyone..

May god Bless you for your Sincere words of Prayer..

I have long been thanking the Lord.. for all my losses.in whatever way theymay have come..With that Holy Hindsight He blesses us with..

It has all turned about and made me, So Much Richer In Jesus..

I would like to leave you with three texts, that have have lived in my heart , and brought much comfort to me too..

As following....

We know that trouble produces endurance,

Endurance brings God's approval,

And His approval creates hope.

This hope does not disappoint us,

for God has poured out His love into

our hearts, by means of the Holy Spirit,

Who is Gods gift to us.......

Romans 5:verses 3 1/2--5.

************************

'My grace is all you need,

for my power is greatest when you are weak.'

I am most happy, then, to be proud of my

weaknesses, in order to feel the protection

of Christ's power over me.

I am content with weaknesses, insults,

hardships, persecutions,and difficulties

for christs sake.

For when I am weak,

then I am strong..Amen..

2 Corinthians chapter 12:Verses 9--10..

************************************************

Let us give thanks to the God and Father

of our Lord Jesus Christ,

the meciful Father, The God from whom all

help comes!

He helps us in all our troubles,

so that we are able to help others

who have all kinds of troubles,

using the same-help that we ourselves

have received from God.....Amen..

2 Corinthians: chapter 1: Verses 3--4.

***********************************************

Thank you for writing, MeCajunboy..

I do hope something I have written,

may have helped you in your Grief...

May every day, bring a lighter daylight,

for you to tread through...

Never be afraid of the shadows...

'Tis only the Lord, Blessing you,

with His love,

Of a silver lining...

May God Bless your pathway,

With the oil of joy. Amen..

Much Love ,

From message X+

[message]

Hi! Lossforwords..

I have just read your posting to MaCajunboy,

after posting to them my self..

I was so very saddened, to hear of your great loss,

over the Christmas holidays...

Yes I am so very sorry for you..

But I enjoyed reading about your great relationship, with them...

I really love reading about grandparents...

As I can hardly remember my own..

You are naturally, worried about your Grandfather..and where he is now..

I feel very led , to write this to you..

Just remember...All Love comes from God..He is a God of Love..

And I am also very sure, that He is also a God of Great Mercy too..

Especially, with one so ill, as your Grandfather was...

As printed in a little booklet I have..

[i'm not really shouting at you, honest!]

THE LORD IS MERCIFUL AND GRACIOUS,

Slow to anger,

And plenteous in mercy..

Psalm 103. Verse 8..

***********************************

I WILL STRENGTHEN THEE;

Yea, I will help thee;

Yea, I will uphold thee with

The right hand of my

Righteousness.......Amen..

Isaiah Chapter 41: verse 10.

***************************

The Lord Jesus Christ said,

LET NOT YOUR HEART

BE TROUBLED:

ye believe in God,

Believe also in Me.

Peace I leave with you,

MY PEACE

I GIVE UNTO YOU:

not as the world giveth,

give I unto you.

LET NOT YOUR HEART BE

TROUBLED,

neither let it be afraid.

John: chapter 14: Verses 1, 27.

*******************************

Just put ALL your Faith and Trust,into the

Lords very loving hands..

I do not think,

you will ever regret doing so....

May God Calm The Storm

Within You....

And Give You His Peace...Amen..

Love From message X+

[ray]

Yes, I have lost loved ones close to me but do to distance I never really go the funerals. IT was not till about my third or fourth year of teaching second grade that I lost one of my students. They went home complaining of a headache and apparently it was bad enough for the mom to take her to emergency room that night and the doctors found a brain tumor in my student. The doctors said it was so bad that she only had 24 hours left to live and she died that night. IT was the first funeral that I went to where I went to the wake and the grave sight. She was such a precious child and student she would come up to me almost every morning and ask me if a person was absent if she could pray for them and she would go kneel down by there desk and say a pray for the person that was absent. That is something I will never forget. What a wonderful second grader. I know she is heaven. And I would tell her its ok to pray but I can't pray with you because my job as a teacher won't let me in public school. She said ok, when I'm done praying I let you know so you can pray when know is watching you teacher. Where she learned to be wise is beyond me at such a young age and with multiple disabilities. How precious is life when it taken so young.

[kat8585]

I've lost both my parents, a husband, a favorite aunt and a favorite uncle.

My mother and I were very close. When her birthday and Mother's Day came, I would go to every store to find just the right card, and usually ended up buying two. When we lived in different states, I would send her a "book", then immediately start another one. She also wrote me long letters. This was before email and cell phones, tho we did talk a lot on the phone, too.

When she died in an auto accident, the only thing that got me thru it was that she died instantly and knowing she was ready, and that I will see her in heaven. She loved cats, as do I, and she can be surrounded by all the cats she wants.

A few days after the accident, I got a letter from her that she had mailed before the outing in which she was killed. I treasure it.

She was with her best friend of 40 years and some other people, and her best friend died, too.

[Guest Biblicist]

I was wondering if anyone else has had this phenomenon happen to them.

When someone dies that you are close to, you begin to take on some of their personality traits. I started doing things more like my father, after he died.

My mother lost both her sisters and has become more like each of them as the years have progressed since their passing. Even to the point of ending up with some of their illnesses.

[Butler]

Hi there brother!

Yeah, I lost a brother. Not a blood brother but a friend that held a very special place in my heart. Like I said, my brother.

His name was Jason and we started off playing in a band and as we progressed we atarted getting closer. Eventually because he had no family (that wanted him) he started living with us (most of the time). He was loved by all of us and became part of the furniture. We were all doing some seriously wrong stuff (in the band) but when Jason started dating an underaged girl I flipped and left the band.

Its at this stage that I came back to Christ and that was the last time I spoke to Jason. He felt that I had abandoned him (and maybe I did) but we just couldnt co-exist in the same room without our differences causing an argument. I saw him once again before he died. It was at a party and he was completely wasted. We stood around in a circle of friends and I said nothing to him.

About a month after that I got a knock on my door from 2 of my friends and they told me that Jason was killed on his motorcycle. My whole world crashed.

I honestly believed that I could put off meeting with Jason until "tomorrow". Unfortunately "tomorrow" never comes and now he was dead. I have never been a big cry'er but at Jasons funeral I just couldnt stop. Why didnt I talk to him!

I know that I was wrong to shut him out. I have (almost) made peace with myself about that. Jason was a good man. He was once a leader in the Church and played in the praise and worship team. He made some bad decisions in his life and went astray. I just know that God looks at the big picture and Jason (while disobediant) was one of Gods special children. He is in heaven right now.

Sorry for the long post but to this day I still get very emotional talking about Jason.

Friends, if there is anyone that you are at odds with and arent speaking, go to them right now and make up. You never know when will be the last time you get to see them.

Sean

[peaches]

Friends, if there is anyone that you are at odds with and arent speaking, go to them right now and make up. You never know when will be the last time you get to see them.

its so hard though ...

[treasured]

Death truly IS an enemy...one we cannot fight, but soon will be destroyed (1Cor 15:26)

I have lost so many :Grandparents,parents,brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephew,children and best friends....It doesn't get any easier the older we get...Each death cuts to the core!!...And like so many have stated, time helps dull the pain..!

Aw... but those PROMISES.!!!..."There will be no more sickness, outcry or pain ...HE will wipe away every tear from their eyes.....and death will be no more!!"

Thank You LORD!

Im praying about your loss

[Rachel72]

cajunboy---

Bless you for being concerned for those who have lost loved ones.

I am sorry for your loss. How old was your mother when she died and hold were you? How long ago did she die?

I have never lost a parent. I have lost grandparents and three close friends, my husband has lost three sisters and his parents, we are 34 and 44. All I can tell you is that from seeing my husband grieve, it is something that stays with you forever, and you just accept that this is the way life is. You thank God that they were put in your life, if only for a season. Your mother sounds like a lovely woman. I am sure you will miss her deeply. My sympathy to you...

Rachel72

[Scarletprayers]

I am currently going through it for the first time in my life. As I am typing this reply we are waiting for news from my dad. He is in ICU and his organs ceased to function.... We are in another country and mom only has my brother with her. So, I am sitting here all day, wondering, waiting, emotionally tired, but my spirit soars....

Daddy is saved and we are preparing for Jesus to take daddy home....

I have comfort in the fact that my daddy is a child of the Living God and that God knows what He's doing, even if it hurts us in the process. He is in control! Amen!

My prayers are that God will be glorified whatever the outcome.....

Esther

I will be praying with you!