Who does what?!

[Guest Biblicist]

"Love is not finding the right person, but being the right person."

As hard as it is to wait, we would better ourselves by focusing on how we can be the best spouse to our future hsuban/wife than on trying to find the "best spouse."

If more people did that, we might not have as many divorces as we do.

AMEN, dear sister!

[Axxman]

My wife persued me. She was a non-christian, and I was NOT interested. There were so many things about her that I didn't want in a friend...let alone a wife. She was a drug addicted, single-mom, who'd been arrested. She was in a gang, and was in multiple fights. I laughed that she even thought I would sink that low.

However...I was a Christian, so I did have an interest in seeing her life change. I began witnessing to her. Whenever I saw her (which wasn't that often) I made sure she saw at least a glimpse of my faith in Christ. On an honest note...she was so messed up I didn't think it would matter, and I had NO interest in "hanging out" with her.

One day she shows up at my work. I'm thinking "STALKER!!!" She tells me she's getting married..I tell her congrats and see you later. A bit curious about the guy she's marrying, I used my contacts to look him up. I expected a gang-banger punk. Instead...it was a guy with a record for child molestation...and a warrant for his arrest. I drove nearly 100 miles to the "area" she lived (area is a better description than town) and asked around until I found her. Needless to say...she was stunned that I was "stalking" her now...lol.

We went for a short walk and I told her about the fiance...shockingly she already knew about him. She started crying and telling me that she was so confused and that this wasn't the life she planned. I again shared with her about Christ, and I offered to find her a place to stay through my church. She said she couldn't leave because she had a "coke deal" to run that afternoon (I'm not even joking...I wanted to run away right then.) I told her that she had to make a decision...I wasn't gonna offer again. She basically told me we were being watched and that we'd have to sneak away fast. We casually walked to my car, and she left EVERYTHING behind. Unfortunately, some guys saw our getaway and we were literally chased by guys with guns running behind my car.

When we got to my place, she sat on the couch crying. She thanked me for helping her, and asked if I would help her pray. After the day we had I wasn't expecting that. It was an unbelievable JOY to explain the gift of salvation, and to pray with her. It was more exciting to see the dramatic changes in her life. She asked me to go to parenting classes with her so she could start the process of getting her daughter back from CPS. Which I did. I often tease her that she entrapped me with "the daughter" cuz she was so adorable. She doesn't deny it

Nine years and counting...Praise God!!

[EricH]

Without getting into a sex war about this, I would value the opinion of all Lovers of Jesus....

In the Christian community,

does God bring the potential Mr Right to the woman or

Ms Right to the man?!

Apart from what you have read concerning this matter, what is your PERSONAL view/EXPERIENCE on this and have you Believing men had your other half come to you first?

I'm a tad confused about it.

It was when I quit trying to find a mate, and just started serving Him, that God brought the right person into my life. It was based on the command ministry we were doing together

[Floatingaxe]

OK thanks to all who have responded ...

Now - is it inappropriate for the woman to make the first MOVE ? Something as simple as going up to the man and speaking. (Obviously there must be the attraction etc between both parties and prayer OF COURSE.)

I have read, and been told, at all costs, the woman should NOT show a HINT that she's interested..that's sounds a bit warped to me.

Yes, that is a warped view. Women can befriend a man...why can't she? In a friendship, one should be able to speak of one's desires, and it should be a simple thing to lay it out on the table. But to pursue a man? I don't like it much. If they were believers, then God would make it a natural pairing with much pursuit necessary--mostly!

[Guest lnj]

My wife persued me. She was a non-christian, and I was NOT interested. There were so many things about her that I didn't want in a friend...let alone a wife. She was a drug addicted, single-mom, who'd been arrested. She was in a gang, and was in multiple fights. I laughed that she even thought I would sink that low.

However...I was a Christian, so I did have an interest in seeing her life change. I began witnessing to her. Whenever I saw her (which wasn't that often) I made sure she saw at least a glimpse of my faith in Christ. On an honest note...she was so messed up I didn't think it would matter, and I had NO interest in "hanging out" with her.

One day she shows up at my work. I'm thinking "STALKER!!!" She tells me she's getting married..I tell her congrats and see you later. A bit curious about the guy she's marrying, I used my contacts to look him up. I expected a gang-banger punk. Instead...it was a guy with a record for child molestation...and a warrant for his arrest. I drove nearly 100 miles to the "area" she lived (area is a better description than town) and asked around until I found her. Needless to say...she was stunned that I was "stalking" her now...lol.

We went for a short walk and I told her about the fiance...shockingly she already knew about him. She started crying and telling me that she was so confused and that this wasn't the life she planned. I again shared with her about Christ, and I offered to find her a place to stay through my church. She said she couldn't leave because she had a "coke deal" to run that afternoon (I'm not even joking...I wanted to run away right then.) I told her that she had to make a decision...I wasn't gonna offer again. She basically told me we were being watched and that we'd have to sneak away fast. We casually walked to my car, and she left EVERYTHING behind. Unfortunately, some guys saw our getaway and we were literally chased by guys with guns running behind my car.

When we got to my place, she sat on the couch crying. She thanked me for helping her, and asked if I would help her pray. After the day we had I wasn't expecting that. It was an unbelievable JOY to explain the gift of salvation, and to pray with her. It was more exciting to see the dramatic changes in her life. She asked me to go to parenting classes with her so she could start the process of getting her daughter back from CPS. Which I did. I often tease her that she entrapped me with "the daughter" cuz she was so adorable. She doesn't deny it

Nine years and counting...Praise God!!

Wow..That's Awesome!!

[Guest lnj]

Umm, I think, considering the content, you ought to clarify that she was twice widowed . . . so people don't think that a divorcee is speaking on relationships and dating.

You're right Neb, I should have clarified that.

[Guest lnj]

Becuse I've had my 4 boys and I'm not planning on having anymore, I think if God brings a man into my life to marry, it will be for the SOLE purpose of accomplishing something He has in mind for US to do.

I think alot of women (not all!!) want a husband to fill the hole of "loneliness" and don't think that God actually wants her married to further His Will for "them" as a couple, whatever that purpose may be.

Just to get married and live happily ever after, I'm not so sure.......

[Guest]

I asked God to give me the right husband since I was very young, and He gave me the most wonderful hubby on earth. My sister always says he's like the Mills and Boons story book characters, he's just to good to be true. But God knew what I'm going to need and I believe that we can ask Him to pick the right one for us. Just as long as we seek a christian partner.

Yes!

And God gave me the right bride.

She listens to my nonsense and hears love instead!

Ain't God Grand!

[7thseal]

As hard as it is to wait, we would better ourselves by focusing on how we can be the best spouse to our future hsuban/wife than on trying to find the "best spouse."

Amen!

I prayed for years asking the Lord to bring a wife into my life that he chose for me. Well years later my patience ran out and so I went off on my own looking for the right gal. I thought surely I had found one and boy did I get my heart broken when the subject of marriage came up. So I returned back to the Lord in prayer agreeing with him whole heartily that his timing would be best for me....shortly after I met my wife and I knew without a doubt she was the one he chose for me.

Learning patience the hard way.....yeah I'm one of those guys.

[TheoMike]

Without getting into a sex war about this, I would value the opinion of all Lovers of Jesus....

In the Christian community,

does God bring the potential Mr Right to the woman or

Ms Right to the man?!

Apart from what you have read concerning this matter, what is your PERSONAL view/EXPERIENCE on this and have you Believing men had your other half come to you first?

I'm a tad confused about it.

Definitely the Lord's hand was in our relationship from before we met. Of course, you never see this until after the fact, like most things the Lord does. I trusted that the Lord would lead me to the right one for years and years. It takes that long sometimes before we are ready to receive what or who the Lord has for us, I think.