honest question

[RedeemedByHim]

Hi all...before I state my question..This is NOT my situation nor will it ever be my situation. I have always been curious about this. So here goes,

If a couple were to separate to work on their marriage (in a sense start over) and they decided that they were going to make their marriage work and they went out on dates or what not...would it be wrong of them to sleep together since they are still married to each other...

I would think they should be able to...but I am not sure...I have heard people say no that it is a sin...

what do you all think?????

[Marnie]

Hi all...before I state my question..This is NOT my situation nor will it ever be my situation. I have always been curious about this. So here goes,

If a couple were to separate to work on their marriage (in a sense start over) and they decided that they were going to make their marriage work and they went out on dates or what not...would it be wrong of them to sleep together since they are still married to each other...

I would think they should be able to...but I am not sure...I have heard people say no that it is a sin...

what do you all think?????

Good question.

This is actually a counseling technique in marriage counseling. The answer is no, the shouldn't. If they are desiring to heal their marriage, they need to set the boundaries and rules with their counselor and stick with them. Any counselor would be adamant about this.

[Guest LadyC]

let me get this straight...

the husband and wife are still husband and wife, are trying to work out their relationship to have a healthier marriage, and people are saying it would be a sin for them to have sex?

how odd.

of course it wouldn't be sinful. they may be separated but they're not divorced! they're still married to each other!

i think it would be wiser for the couple to put sex on a back burner while they strengthen other areas of their relationship, but it certainly wouldn't be wrong in the eyes of God for them to be intimate.

in fact, it's possible that it would be wrong in the eyes of God for them NOT to be, since God commands us to be intimate with each other physically and to not turn the other down except for a brief period of time while fasting and praying.

[Floatingaxe]

There is no sin in it...

[ted]

let me get this straight...

the husband and wife are still husband and wife, are trying to work out their relationship to have a healthier marriage, and people are saying it would be a sin for them to have sex?

how odd.

of course it wouldn't be sinful. they may be separated but they're not divorced! they're still married to each other!

i think it would be wiser for the couple to put sex on a back burner while they strengthen other areas of their relationship, but it certainly wouldn't be wrong in the eyes of God for them to be intimate.

in fact, it's possible that it would be wrong in the eyes of God for them NOT to be, since God commands us to be intimate with each other physically and to not turn the other down except for a brief period of time while fasting and praying.

t.

[sierra21]

I think sex can complicate things and cloud vision; so during time of healing a marriage relationship I think it would be beneficial to abstain. Having said that, if the couple did have sex it would not be a sin. But I don't think having sex during healing would help the situation any. But then every relationship is different.

[MeCajunboy]

Hi all...before I state my question..This is NOT my situation nor will it ever be my situation. I have always been curious about this. So here goes,

If a couple were to separate to work on their marriage (in a sense start over) and they decided that they were going to make their marriage work and they went out on dates or what not...would it be wrong of them to sleep together since they are still married to each other...

I would think they should be able to...but I am not sure...I have heard people say no that it is a sin...

what do you all think?????

I'm sorry! I have to disagree with Marnie again. Once more I have to side with God. It would have been much easier for my wife and I to take you on your offer/suggestion/solution, but to stay in good standings with the Word of God, this solution would not be within the confines of God's Book; only man's. I would have to ask you a question here. What do you think the "risks" would be if my wife and I decided after a marriage of 30 years, and with a few years of serious problems, to go and try it with other women, to see if I "could find someone better fitted" or double that statistics with the fact that my wife might find someone more fitting to her liking only after I thought I had decided there could only the the one I loved from the beginning, and to find that SHE DIDN'T! I think I can better understand and work under that strict conditions God lays before me and "hang in there" and make it work. Also, do you really think that you could "go back and forth" from believing and trusting God to "turning HIM off for the moment" and not abiding by HIS word, only to test the waters and think that HE would allow everything to fall into place. Would this method show our "trust" and "faith" in God. God tells us that "HE gives us SUFFICIENT" IN EVERYTHING IN LIFE " if we follow HIS guidlines/laws in life. Are we not telling HIM, in fact, that we do not trust HIS plan for us, when we go outside the boundaries of HIS Laws? When man or woman stray from their "given" companion/wife/husband , are they not telling God that they don't trust that HE has given them all HE promised in their lives? I believe that's exactly what we do when we SIN! We show our lack of trust in God! Be patient, kind and trusting and HIS WILL BE DONE! Whatever the outcome!

Blessings

Cajunboy

[Guest LadyC]

cajun, please tell me what you're talking about! and explain where you get the idea that marnie was in ANY way suggesting that a couple should try "it" with other people to see if there was a better fit?

as far as i can tell, YOU are the only person here who had any thought enter the mind regarding adultry. nothing in anyone else's post even hinted at the husband or wife straying.

[TheoMike]

I think sex can complicate things and cloud vision; so during time of healing a marriage relationship I think it would be beneficial to abstain. Having said that, if the couple did have sex it would not be a sin. But I don't think having sex during healing would help the situation any. But then every relationship is different.

Both sierra and Marnie are correct. Nothing can foul up the healing process like sex. It can mask problems and make the couple think everything is A-OK, when in fact, it may not be. It may not be sinful, just a real bad idea.

[message]

Hi all...before I state my question..This is NOT my situation nor will it ever be my situation. I have always been curious about this. So here goes,

If a couple were to separate to work on their marriage (in a sense start over) and they decided that they were going to make their marriage work and they went out on dates or what not...would it be wrong of them to sleep together since they are still married to each other...

I would think they should be able to...but I am not sure...I have heard people say no that it is a sin...

what do you all think?????

Hello all..

I really think some of the people here, really should try to re-read the post, that we had in the first place.. Just though I would copy out the main bit, which everyone seems to not be

SEEING..here goes..

*************************************************************************

If a couple were to seperate to work on their marriage [in a sense start over]

And they decided that they were going to make their marriage work::::::::::::::

:::::::::::::[Here comes the important bit...]:::::::::::::::

And they went out on dates or whatnot....would it be wrong of them to sleep together, since they are still married to each other....:::::::::::::::::::::

***************************************************************************

If they are so intent in making their marriage work again....

If they are that in love with each other.....

Why? are they still going on other dates..?

Why do they want to date others

anyway?

If they are interested in others..why are they so called trying to save their marriage..

And why do they want to go to bed with each other?..

If they are still seeing others too..

Sounds to me that they need a total rethink..

The answer surely is obvious.. if they are living apart, and yet still dating others..

Then I do not think that their reality, for each other is as true as they think it is..

Perhaps its the fear of the unknown..

the fear of not having anyone..when they are still legally married?

And perhaps they want their cake and eat it..

Either you are loyal to someone..!! Or you are not..

It is just one, or the other!

This is the bit somehow people have been missing..The devils work you know!! cover us all in the Blood of the lamb, in the name of Jesus Christ..AMEN HALLELUJAH!!

LOVE MESSAGE X+