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Posted (edited)

double posted

Edited by SDGS
Posted (edited)

double posted

i don't know why this posted so many times.

Edited by SDGS

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Posted

Since this is a "moldy oldie" I don't feel bad about speaking and likely hijacking this thread. You can change me back to non believer. If there is a God who loves me he has a really sick way of showing it, and I always believed in him. No more. It is plain baloney and if it gives others comfort, then it is a good thing, so I am not saying you are wrong. But I don't believe anymore and i don't give one damn about hell or whatever. Send me there. It won't be anything more than the **** he throws at me now, and i don't believe god is there or cares one bit about me. if there is a god he just took away the only two people helping me to believe. I don't believe it anymore and i am sick of trying.

Are you certain that you are angry at the right 'person'? Despite what you may say or think, one thing stands as certain as the sun rising tomorrow morning whether there are clouds or not is that God who is 'pure love' did nothing to hurt you. It is NOT possible. You may try to blame God for anything or as much as you wish but He is not guilty, YOU are. You are the one who needed a saviour, You are the one who sinned , You are the one who hates, You are the one who does not wish to blame Satan but would rather blame God for your hurts, your wrongs, your sin. IF you were married ( that I do not know nor need to know) would you let your only son who is a healthy young man of 18 yrs. donate his heart in a transplant so that I could live?

You would think I was a fool for asking such a 'stupid' thing. Yet God gave not just His Son's heart but His life so that you and I and anyone who wishes could live not just for now but for eternity. Does that sound like a God who hates you?

You say that you would rather go to hell. You may die tonight. Is that really your choice? God is listening and despite what you may think He can read and He knows your thoughts before you say or write them. Are you sure you want to spend eternity with pure unadulterated hate?

So vile, so stench filled, so dark, so depressing yet you cannot kill yourself to be removed from it or leave, because wherever you go it is there. You cannot escape - where the worm does not die. Not a possibility to say, "I'm sorry. I didn't really mean it."

I repeat the words - you have before you life or death. Choose wisely while there is yet time for the Master is ready to return and you will not have a pleasant time - a time to change perhaps but if you think that He does not love you know - you will not like the future without His grace in the future.

You judge me? If we are going there then to me you are the most self righteous person I have seen here. No I am not vile nor stench nor filth. Thanks a lot.

Are you sure you want to spend eternity with pure unadulterated hate?

So vile, so stench filled, so dark, so depressing yet you cannot kill yourself to be removed from it or leave, because wherever you go it is there.

SDGS, get a grip on yourself.

The comment was talking about hell, not you. And it is where anyone who is not saved, and after judgment, will be sent. This is scriptural and truth.

And if you read your post, you actually said, Ok, send me there.

Now you take offense at your own words, your own wishes?

Get a grip, this was not an insult directed at you, it was just plain truth!

Guest SDGS
Posted

You don't understand but I thought God did, since Christians tell me that God made me this way/sent me to that family. I have reactive detachment disorder.

I somehow bonded with a pastor and his wife. They were very kind to me, I began to risk trust, and he was teaching me about jesus. Now, they are leaving. He is leaving as pastor to go to foreign countries to teach pastors.

It totally broke me. I cannot deal. Do I blame God? I don't know. I felt God led me to them, gave me trust in them, that He sent me to them because they were teaching me about Jesus, trying to help me believe and trust Jesus, and now, yanked away from me. I cannot handle this. It broke me.


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Posted

You don't understand but I thought God did, since Christians tell me that God made me this way/sent me to that family. I have reactive detachment disorder.

I somehow bonded with a pastor and his wife. They were very kind to me, I began to risk trust, and he was teaching me about jesus. Now, they are leaving. He is leaving as pastor to go to foreign countries to teach pastors.

It totally broke me. I cannot deal. Do I blame God? I don't know. I felt God led me to them, gave me trust in them, that He sent me to them because they were teaching me about Jesus, trying to help me believe and trust Jesus, and now, yanked away from me. I cannot handle this. It broke me.

Ok sister now we are getting somewhere :thumbsup:

For those of us ( I am one), who don't know what reactive detachment disorder is, tell us a bit more how it affects you.

Guest SDGS
Posted

c/p

Definition

By Mayo Clinic staff

Reactive attachment disorder is a rare but serious condition in which infants and young children don't establish healthy bonds with parents or caregivers.

A child with reactive attachment disorder is typically neglected, abused, or moved multiple times from one caregiver to another. Because the child's basic needs for comfort, affection and nurturing aren't met, he or she never establishes loving and caring attachments with others. This may permanently alter the child's growing brain and hurt their ability to establish future relationships.


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Posted

You don't understand but I thought God did, since Christians tell me that God made me this way/sent me to that family. I have reactive detachment disorder.

I somehow bonded with a pastor and his wife. They were very kind to me, I began to risk trust, and he was teaching me about jesus. Now, they are leaving. He is leaving as pastor to go to foreign countries to teach pastors.

It totally broke me. I cannot deal. Do I blame God? I don't know. I felt God led me to them, gave me trust in them, that He sent me to them because they were teaching me about Jesus, trying to help me believe and trust Jesus, and now, yanked away from me. I cannot handle this. It broke me.

I know what reactive detachment disorder is along with a whole host of other disorders are my son has been labelled with one or all of these since he was a kid he is nearly 29 now. And I know all about trust issues believe me! Its hard to lose anyone we are close with but there is a danger attaching to someone and thinking they hold all your keys to happiness and is the path to God also. Perhaps it is God knowing you need to grow and lean on Him a bit more after all it is about a personal relationship and if we lean too heavily on others we risk attaching more importance to those relationships and not the one with Him. God knows how much you can handle or be tempted by and will never give you more than you can bare. Learning to rely on Him is one of the greatest lesson we can learn, the hardest one I believe. If you think that you were led to these people perhaps you also were led to be apart of that whole congregation? and if so perhaps if you reach out to others, talk to someone there who could understand your fears may be put to rest and you will know you are not alone. The pastor and his wife are doing what they believe God has called them to do and maybe He is calling you to come out of your comfort zone just a bit enough to see that you are not physically alone in that church. Pray, call out to Him, tell Him how you feel, tell Him your concerns and fears and ask Him to help you, be willing to hear His voice so He can guide you.

shalom,

Mizz

Guest SDGS
Posted
If you think that you were led to these people perhaps you also were led to be apart of that whole congregation? and if so perhaps if you reach out to others, talk to someone there who could understand your fears may be put to rest and you will know you are not alone. The pastor and his wife are doing what they believe God has called them to do and maybe He is calling you to come out of your comfort zone just a bit enough to see that you are not physically alone in that church. Pray, call out to Him, tell Him how you feel, tell Him your concerns and fears and ask Him to help you, be willing to hear His voice so He can guide you.

He and his wife are doing what God say do, and they do so with joy. I understand that. He has much to offer in traning pastors in other countries and his gift should be used. But it doesn't stop me from hurting and feeling abandoned.

I have prayed and God knows. It is one more heartbreak I just have to live through until it goes away. My walls are back up and I cannot go through this again.

I did try to talk to them at their celebrate recovery thing, and felt i was doing well, until I went out to leave and that woman was making fun of me.

I just don't have it in me to know how to make friends or let people in. I had years of therapy,,, but darn it all, I let the pastor and his wife in, and now i have to pay for that.

:(


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Posted

... I have reactive detachment disorder.

I somehow bonded with a pastor and his wife... I felt God led me to them, gave me trust in them, that He sent me to them because they were teaching me about Jesus, trying to help me believe and trust Jesus, and now, yanked away from me. I cannot handle this. It broke me... I have prayed and God knows. It is one more heartbreak I just have to live through until it goes away. My walls are back up and I cannot go through this again.

I just don't have it in me to know how to make friends or let people in. I had years of therapy,,, but darn it all, I let the pastor and his wife in, and now i have to pay for that.

:(

Let Jesus in, sister. Trust me. He is always available, He will make up for all your losses and enable you to establish healthier relationships with people. God has granted us to find in Him everything we need. Nothing and no one will ever fill you up like God can. All of this is probably meant to let you learn how to depend and rely only on Him.

I have come to realize in the 47 years of my walk on earth that absolutely e v e r y b o d y will disappoint you or fall short of your expectations at any given time, whether unintentionally or deliberately. Everybody includes your parents, spouse, children, friends, co-workers, role models and strangers alike. And it doesn't matter whether you did anything to deserve it or not. It will just happen and there's little you can do about it. Besides, you may also hurt and disappoint others if you have not done it already more than once by now.

The thought that Jesus died for them as well as for me humbles me enough to avoid feeling unduly offended or unforgiving. Jesus was whipped, slapped, spat, mocked, ridiculed with a crown of thorns, made to carry the log onto which he was to be hung, nailed to the cross, and caused to die an horrifying and undeserved death all by Himself. Jesus is qualified to know about your pain and isolation both for being God and for having experienced the same in the flesh.

The pastors planted the seed and showed you directions and examples of a Christian way of life. Walk now with God, let Him deal with you directly, allow Him to turn you for others into the blessing those pastors were for you.

Grace to you, sister. I'll have you in my prayers.

Guest SDGS
Posted

I studied on this, and I can see that I leaned more on the pastor and his wife, and not on God,,, but it still hurts.

I don't know that I believe in God the same way you guys do. I have always known there is God, in that, a being is running this earth. But I never looked at God as from the bible. To me, the bible limits God, and I have never been able to get past that. I have not much been able to, well, totally believe about Jesus. I think that is a sin to say?

It is practically impossible for me to let live humans in, so think about the difficulty I have accepting that an unseen, unfelt, entity loves me, one I cannot touch, hug, or see. I am not trying to be argumentative, but say how I feel.

I have tried so hard to make it real but it is the same as trying to convince myself the easter bunny is real.

The pastor and his wife were going through it step by step, and helping me, and now, gone. I maybe blamed God, but no, God didn't just take them from me.

I am a mess of confusion. If I honestly don't think any of this is real, then why can't I just let it go. :unsure:

I would just go away and leave you kind folks alone.

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