Divorce and Re-Marriage

[Hunterpoet]

Adultery covers much more than just sex. Abuse, drunkeness, drug addiction all are forms of adultery as well as following false gods.

When teh spouse is abusive their breaking the same covenant that the adulterer breaks. Since a unbeliever leaving is not bound by that covenant then you aren't bound by it. Its all about the breaking of the covenant, not about sex.

Any breaking of the covenant will make one an adulterer.

In all my 40 plus years as a christian, I have never heard such a claim. Adultry is all about sex. Adultry is having sexual relations with a person who is not your spouse plain and simple, and this can occur if not married at the time, ie: you don't have to be married to commit adultry.

Many believe that addictions and pursuing self intersts are the same as worshiping false gods. I guess this may be true if in fact you put anything in higher order than God, but not a clear reason for divorce.

As harsh as it may sound, the author to this subject is correct and the church has been lax.....however, most of the time folks seeking a divorce stop going to church, and several churches in my area shun divorces., which I think is a very grave mistake.

[ColleenLovesMischief]

AOG is my own demonination. I have been involved in ministry there. They do not make you declare any divorces before you became a believer. It does make a difference. If dovorced afterward for any reason other than adultry they do not allow you into the ministry there.

The AoG is my denomination, and I am involved in the ministry. I am the Assistant Pastor. And I have been divorced, *gasp* twice! My Pastor knows about it, and the district Presbyter knows about it, and neither one of them seem inclined to treat me like a walking pariah, or tell me that I have no place in the ministry. As for the bolded part at the end, that may be true in some places and some cases, but it is certainly not true in every AoG church, as they are organized but autonomous in individual operation, unless placed under district supervision because of some major breach of ethics, a split, etc.

What are you trying to say, specifically, that people who have been divorced are not fit for the ministry?

People who have divorced and remarrid contrary to Gods laws after being "enlightened" should be checked because what are those people going to teach others. Many of my friends have been divorced many times and remarried and they know my views on it. They also know Gods view on it. I also would include this in living together ect. ect. ect. I personally removed myself from a ministry position because I was not living rightly. It would dpened on your reason for divorce, and when you did it honestly. The bible is quite blunt that those who remarry without having divorced for the right reasons are living in adultry.

[ColleenLovesMischief]

From what I have seen, the ones harping on this issue should get the plank out of their own eye. Then they could see properly to remove the speck from the eye of their brother. I get so tired of hearing about this issue. I am personal friends with many pastors who are divorced. Most of them, the divorce was their fault. God forgave them, the Church should also. If God only used perfect people, He would not be able to use anyone. None of us are perfect in the flesh. I have been in the midst of bitter fighting among association leaders who wanted to "rescend the ordination" of pastors going through divorce. They have been successful a few times. Many who harp on divorce, are bitter people who enjoy bringing others down more than they enjoy Lifting Christ up.

Sooooo should we just throw biblical law out the window or what???

What Biblical law are you referring to? Be verse specific, and I will specifically address it.

I am speaking of laws on divorce, and standards in the bible to be involved in ministry. I mean if we aren't going to obey those then why not just get rid of all of it?

Be verse specific, I will give you a specific answer.

1Ti 3:12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

1Ti 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

1Co 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

1Co 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Mar 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

The only two ministry specific are I ti 3:2 & 3:12. Both refer to polygamy.

I cor 7:10 refers to a divorce based on grounds not allowed by scripture. verse 11 refers to a wife who has departed but not yet divorced.

Matt & Mark both refer to a divorce that was not based on biblical grounds.

Biblical grounds are?????

And where does it state that those verses only refer to pologmy?

[ColleenLovesMischief]

People who have divorced and remarrid contrary to Gods laws after being "enlightened" should be checked because what are those people going to teach others. Many of my friends have been divorced many times and remarried and they know my views on it. They also know Gods view on it. I also would include this in living together ect. ect. ect. I personally removed myself from a ministry position because I was not living rightly. It would dpened on your reason for divorce, and when you did it honestly. The bible is quite blunt that those who remarry without having divorced for the right reasons are living in adultry.

No, that is people's interpretation of it. Even if true, if both people have repented and are truly sorry for their actions, whatever they were, they are not living in some constant state of adultery.

What am I going to teach people? Well of course, I am going to teach them to have loose moral standards, get married, divorced and re-married under the most ludicrous of reasons or at the drop of a hat, and tell them to totally trample the institution of marriage, because it has no value. I may even teach them that marriage isn't even neccesary. Is that a bad thing? Why do people think that people who have been divorced are going to espouse some loose moral standards? And even if some would, that means everyone is the same?

Inveriably, someone is going to pop into this thread and say "God hates divorce." True, but if He feels that way about divorce, how do you think He feels about people who despise and won't forgive those who have been divorced, especially if it wasn't their fault? Hmmm. . . Honestly, I'm not sure what bothers people who have that attitude more, the divorces themselves, or the fact that some of the people who have been divorced just won't play the game right. They won't stay in their little corner doing whatever menial task is tossed their way. They won't stay silent about people's lack of forgiveness, and most of all, they won't walk around with their heads hung down in shame forever like they are supposed to. It's just no fun when people won't play by the rules. Some people just don't realize that they are supposed to remain down-trodden, rejected and minimalized forever. I might say what happened to me, but regardless of what it was, I guarantee you someone is going to tell me I am doomed for eternity because I've been divorced, even though it's not true.

Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Wasn't her fault. And it's not always what someone says that they teach people. It is what people see....well he does that so I will too. I have been there. I had a man swear he was going to divorce me for 4.5 yrs. I lived in it. The only reason he could come up with was we were not compatible. I told him go for it I wasn't signing anything. I tend to take the word of God quite literally. My new husband knows my stand on divorce as well. I didn't say you weren't forgiven. As one who was a youth leader I tend to look at the teenagers and what they gather from what they see in the adults. If I were a member of a church and it was openly known that a person was divorced as a believer for no biblical reason I would tend to vote against them being in ministry. Nothing personal. I worry about the kids. Don't take it so personally. I would say the same to my own mother or brother, not put of hate or contempt, but out of duty to God.

[patricia1]

People who have divorced and remarrid contrary to Gods laws after being "enlightened" should be checked because what are those people going to teach others. Many of my friends have been divorced many times and remarried and they know my views on it. They also know Gods view on it. I also would include this in living together ect. ect. ect. I personally removed myself from a ministry position because I was not living rightly. It would dpened on your reason for divorce, and when you did it honestly. The bible is quite blunt that those who remarry without having divorced for the right reasons are living in adultry.

No, that is people's interpretation of it. Even if true, if both people have repented and are truly sorry for their actions, whatever they were, they are not living in some constant state of adultery.

What am I going to teach people? Well of course, I am going to teach them to have loose moral standards, get married, divorced and re-married under the most ludicrous of reasons or at the drop of a hat, and tell them to totally trample the institution of marriage, because it has no value. I may even teach them that marriage isn't even neccesary. Is that a bad thing? Why do people think that people who have been divorced are going to espouse some loose moral standards? And even if some would, that means everyone is the same?

Inveriably, someone is going to pop into this thread and say "God hates divorce." True, but if He feels that way about divorce, how do you think He feels about people who despise and won't forgive those who have been divorced, especially if it wasn't their fault? Hmmm. . . Honestly, I'm not sure what bothers people who have that attitude more, the divorces themselves, or the fact that some of the people who have been divorced just won't play the game right. They won't stay in their little corner doing whatever menial task is tossed their way. They won't stay silent about people's lack of forgiveness, and most of all, they won't walk around with their heads hung down in shame forever like they are supposed to. It's just no fun when people won't play by the rules. Some people just don't realize that they are supposed to remain down-trodden, rejected and minimalized forever. I might say what happened to me, but regardless of what it was, I guarantee you someone is going to tell me I am doomed for eternity because I've been divorced, even though it's not true.

Jesus is dicussing the old laws and comparing..it has to do with heart. Inthe old law divorce was actually grante probably as often as the divorce rate is noe. But in the old days if a woman was taken as a wife and then rejected and cast away her worth, which was little to begin with was now worth evensmaller. What I foun interesting is thatalthough jacob was working for Rachel and got Leah he had the right to divorce but did not... If god forgave the woman byu the well and the woman CAUGHT in adutery why wouldn't your pastors and christians.

Yeah I went to assembly of god for a very long time and did not like their bylaws but the word was excellent as well as the pastor and his wife..I supported them. They had to change some things eventually. I was ordined by assembly of god papa. Thats what I call him and every one else...patricia1

[ColleenLovesMischief]

Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Wasn't her fault. And it's not always what someone says that they teach people. It is what people see....well he does that so I will too. I have been there. I had a man swear he was going to divorce me for 4.5 yrs. I lived in it. The only reason he could come up with was we were not compatible. I told him go for it I wasn't signing anything. I tend to take the word of God quite literally. My new husband knows my stand on divorce as well. I didn't say you weren't forgiven. As one who was a youth leader I tend to look at the teenagers and what they gather from what they see in the adults. If I were a member of a church and it was openly known that a person was divorced as a believer for no biblical reason I would tend to vote against them being in ministry. Nothing personal. I worry about the kids. Don't take it so personally. I would say the same to my own mother or brother, not put of hate or contempt, but out of duty to God.

I do take it personally. I know that some people get divorced for some of the stupidest reasons on the face of the earth, and I'm not defending them. I'm speaking for the people, man or woman that have been abandoned by a spouse, beat up by a spouse, or just generally dumped on by a spouse. That seems to matter little to anyone on the outside looking in. The "D" word comes out and those people are branded, and they won't ever get rid of it. If we are talking about some person who was shopping around for some new squeeze and dumped their spouse for the next flavor of the month, they deserve every bit of grief that comes their way down the pike. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about people on the other side of the coin. They are hurting enough as it is. They don't need someone riding high in the saddle whose never experienced what they've been through looking down on them and adding to the suffering they are already going through. And they especially don't need it from a church family, who, obstensibly is supposed to be encouraging them and supporting them. In this one area, Christians just do not seem to be able to forgive, no matter what the circumstances, and that is not on the divorced person, that is on the ones that can't see their way clear to forgive. Christ is pretty clear about what happens to someone who won't forgive someone else.

Cobalt buddy I speak my mind when the Spirit leads....If I don't then God hounds me about not saying what He was speaking to begin with. Once it is voiced I stop. At that point it is between them and God. Never have I not forgiven anyone. After my husbands death I found out he had been cheating on me for awhile, and yet I was still able to forgive. I voiced what I was led to and voiced it as my opinion even. Not to hurt anyone but because it is what I had to do. It isn't up to me to judge that person, but to follow in accordance to God. You are my sibling and I love ya! If I hurt you I am sorry. I was just speaking what I was led.

[OneLight]

From what I have seen, the ones harping on this issue should get the plank out of their own eye. Then they could see properly to remove the speck from the eye of their brother. I get so tired of hearing about this issue. I am personal friends with many pastors who are divorced. Most of them, the divorce was their fault. God forgave them, the Church should also. If God only used perfect people, He would not be able to use anyone. None of us are perfect in the flesh. I have been in the midst of bitter fighting among association leaders who wanted to "rescend the ordination" of pastors going through divorce. They have been successful a few times. Many who harp on divorce, are bitter people who enjoy bringing others down more than they enjoy Lifting Christ up.

You are in err. Even an elder has to be the husband of one wife, let alone a pastor. What you are describing is the "new age " type of church where sin is basically left up for interpretation, not by the Bible, as it should be.

No, I'm sorry but you are in error. People like to interpret that verse as meaning a person has only been married once, but have absolutely no way of knowing that it doesn't mean exactly what it says, "the husband of one wife", i.e. married to one person. I take it you feel that anyone who has been divorced is damaged goods and belongs on the back pew forever, segregated from the congregation at large?

Then allow me to explain. If a person divorces their spouse, for any other reason except adultery or the fact that the spouse wants a divorce because of non-believing, and the spouse remarries, they have caused their ex-spouse to commit adultery.

Jesus even taught on this subject. Look up adultery in the Bible and carefully study what you find. I also encourage you to get a Greek dictionary for your studies, so you can see what was meant in the original text.

Your last sentence is an assumption, and we all know what assuming will do. I never said anything like that at all. I was speaking to the offices held in the church and the qualification of these offices. Why attack me for something I did not say. You have been around this board long enough to show mature wisdom. I am surprised.

[OneLight]

From what I have seen, the ones harping on this issue should get the plank out of their own eye. Then they could see properly to remove the speck from the eye of their brother. I get so tired of hearing about this issue. I am personal friends with many pastors who are divorced. Most of them, the divorce was their fault. God forgave them, the Church should also. If God only used perfect people, He would not be able to use anyone. None of us are perfect in the flesh. I have been in the midst of bitter fighting among association leaders who wanted to "rescend the ordination" of pastors going through divorce. They have been successful a few times. Many who harp on divorce, are bitter people who enjoy bringing others down more than they enjoy Lifting Christ up.

You are in err. Even an elder has to be the husband of one wife, let alone a pastor. What you are describing is the "new age " type of church where sin is basically left up for interpretation, not by the Bible, as it should be.

Are you so stiff that you can not even post in modern English? "Err" come on.

The verse you quoted references polygamy. I would like to point out that your use of the term "elder" in this context is in "err."

So, you don't like the word err. Because of that, I'm stiffed neck? If you did your research, a deacon is held to specific qualification, and if a deacon is held to them , then the next step up the ladder, an elder, will also be held to them, and even more. It was not polygamy.

[hr.jr.]

From what I have seen, the ones harping on this issue should get the plank out of their own eye. Then they could see properly to remove the speck from the eye of their brother. I get so tired of hearing about this issue. I am personal friends with many pastors who are divorced. Most of them, the divorce was their fault. God forgave them, the Church should also. If God only used perfect people, He would not be able to use anyone. None of us are perfect in the flesh. I have been in the midst of bitter fighting among association leaders who wanted to "rescend the ordination" of pastors going through divorce. They have been successful a few times. Many who harp on divorce, are bitter people who enjoy bringing others down more than they enjoy Lifting Christ up.

Sooooo should we just throw biblical law out the window or what???

What Biblical law are you referring to? Be verse specific, and I will specifically address it.

I am speaking of laws on divorce, and standards in the bible to be involved in ministry. I mean if we aren't going to obey those then why not just get rid of all of it?

Be verse specific, I will give you a specific answer.

1Ti 3:12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

1Ti 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

1Co 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

1Co 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Mar 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

The only two ministry specific are I ti 3:2 & 3:12. Both refer to polygamy.

I cor 7:10 refers to a divorce based on grounds not allowed by scripture. verse 11 refers to a wife who has departed but not yet divorced.

Matt & Mark both refer to a divorce that was not based on biblical grounds.

Biblical grounds are?????

And where does it state that those verses only refer to pologmy?

The biblical grounds are the plain context of the verses. They speak for themselves.

If you are referring to biblical grounds for a divorce they have been stated 100 times in this thread. Abandonment or Adultery

[hr.jr.]

Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Wasn't her fault. And it's not always what someone says that they teach people. It is what people see....well he does that so I will too. I have been there. I had a man swear he was going to divorce me for 4.5 yrs. I lived in it. The only reason he could come up with was we were not compatible. I told him go for it I wasn't signing anything. I tend to take the word of God quite literally. My new husband knows my stand on divorce as well. I didn't say you weren't forgiven. As one who was a youth leader I tend to look at the teenagers and what they gather from what they see in the adults. If I were a member of a church and it was openly known that a person was divorced as a believer for no biblical reason I would tend to vote against them being in ministry. Nothing personal. I worry about the kids. Don't take it so personally. I would say the same to my own mother or brother, not put of hate or contempt, but out of duty to God.

I do take it personally. I know that some people get divorced for some of the stupidest reasons on the face of the earth, and I'm not defending them. I'm speaking for the people, man or woman that have been abandoned by a spouse, beat up by a spouse, or just generally dumped on by a spouse. That seems to matter little to anyone on the outside looking in. The "D" word comes out and those people are branded, and they won't ever get rid of it. If we are talking about some person who was shopping around for some new squeeze and dumped their spouse for the next flavor of the month, they deserve every bit of grief that comes their way down the pike. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about people on the other side of the coin. They are hurting enough as it is. They don't need someone riding high in the saddle whose never experienced what they've been through looking down on them and adding to the suffering they are already going through. And they especially don't need it from a church family, who, obstensibly is supposed to be encouraging them and supporting them. In this one area, Christians just do not seem to be able to forgive, no matter what the circumstances, and that is not on the divorced person, that is on the ones that can't see their way clear to forgive. Christ is pretty clear about what happens to someone who won't forgive someone else.

Cobalt buddy I speak my mind when the Spirit leads....If I don't then God hounds me about not saying what He was speaking to begin with. Once it is voiced I stop. At that point it is between them and God. Never have I not forgiven anyone. After my husbands death I found out he had been cheating on me for awhile, and yet I was still able to forgive. I voiced what I was led to and voiced it as my opinion even. Not to hurt anyone but because it is what I had to do. It isn't up to me to judge that person, but to follow in accordance to God. You are my sibling and I love ya! If I hurt you I am sorry. I was just speaking what I was led.

It just amazes me that "yo are led by the Spirit," and I "am led by the Spirit," yet we hear entirely different things from Him. I think someone is hearing Him wrong.

The Holy Spirit has always led me to forgive. I know that this is His true leading because the Word instructs us to forgive. The Spirit will always lead in accord, not contradiction, to the Word.

Your stance on divorce contains no element of God's forgiveness. When God forgives, He forgets. He washes a sin as far as the East is to the West. Even assuming that the divorce was not on allowed grounds and assuming the second marriage is adultery, God forgave. God forgave, He remembered the sin no more. You are holding a "sin" against someone that God does not even remember.