12 year old girls and make-up?

[Fraught]

My husband and I have not been blessed with children so I am pretty much out-of-touch with

everything that concerns children.

I saw my 12 year old neice recently. She is quite tall for her age - approximately 5ft8.

She wears make-up - eye shadow, lipstick, nail polish and has her eyebrows waxed.

She looks about 18 years of age.

As an auntie, I feel as though I don't have much of a say but am concerned.

Her mother, my Sister-in-law is a christian(but not practicing) but she attends a good

Catholic school in the area.

She also wears tiny shorts and I notice that a lot of men look at her(mainly relatives)

As a five year old child, she was sexually abused by her half-brother who was 12 at the time.

I'm not sure what impact this has had upon her but I know she is very concious of her appearance.

Apart from that, she is a well-spoken child, polite and intelligent

Should I be concerned, or is it a case of, well,she's just growing up and that's what young

girls do now?

Just wanted to add - how times have changed!

I'm 41 but lived at home with my folks when I was 22 years of age and my father didn't approve of me wearing make-up.

I began wearing make-up at age 21 when I started going to work!

When I was 12, I was happy to have clear skin and would have felt sickened if a boy ever looked at me!

Maybe it's me!!

no it's not you. 12 is way too young to wear make-up.

[LIVN4JC]

Blessings. It isn't made any easier when you see all the play make-up out there directed at all the little ones. My two grandaughters get the play make-up from their great-grandma. It is society promoting it to the young. I don't like them wearing it so young. But I keep my peace. Mom makes sure it is very light and not unattractive. Make-up can enhance or take away. I prefer the natural look mostly. But every now and then my eye lashes need some help

In His Hands,

MeMa

[south]

My husband and I have not been blessed with children so I am pretty much out-of-touch with

everything that concerns children.

I saw my 12 year old neice recently. She is quite tall for her age - approximately 5ft8.

She wears make-up - eye shadow, lipstick, nail polish and has her eyebrows waxed.

She looks about 18 years of age.

As an auntie, I feel as though I don't have much of a say but am concerned.

Her mother, my Sister-in-law is a christian(but not practicing) but she attends a good

Catholic school in the area.

She also wears tiny shorts and I notice that a lot of men look at her(mainly relatives)

As a five year old child, she was sexually abused by her half-brother who was 12 at the time.

I'm not sure what impact this has had upon her but I know she is very concious of her appearance.

Apart from that, she is a well-spoken child, polite and intelligent

Should I be concerned, or is it a case of, well,she's just growing up and that's what young

girls do now?

From a totally outside perspective, I would say that the first thing to realize is that, as you say, you don't have much say in the matter......so the best thing that you could do is pray regularly for her.

I don't think it's necessarily wrong or bad for pre-teen girls to wear make up and 'dress up'....as long as they are not, say, about 7 or 8 years of age. It's just a part of growing up.

Girls...at least within my living memory......have always tended to try on their mother's shoes, put on a bit of their mother's make-up, etc........just like boys play with toy guns from a young age.

There is one aspect of what you said though, that would cause me some concern.

The fact that you said she was abused.

I think that this probably could have instilled in her the thought that maybe the only way to get attention would be to exhibit her sexuality.

Especially since it is the trend these days to pressure young girls to 'grow up' sexually and wear ever more revealing clothing......mainly the fault of the media, as well as peer-pressure, and also the fact that kids are more assertive these days.

Still, there's not much that you can do about it, except talk to her, and pray.

if it's ok with her mother, then perhaps we should pray for the mom. rw

I sometimes really wonder why parents allow their kids to have all those make-up at a very young age. I used to teach 6th graders (11 to 12 year olds) and they act like little ladies. Their nails were polished, they always had lip gloss and their hair looked like they came right out of the parlor.

I hardly wear make-up myself, except for lipstick and face powder. As young girls (I have 3 sisters), my parents never allowed us to wear makeup. As I grew up, I never developed a fondness for it.

I do wear make-up on special and formal occasions like weddings. But other than that, I keep my face free of make-up.

I do find some women very beautiful with make-up, but because they don't look made up. It looks natural. Some women put so much make-up, their faces crack when they laugh.

South

[irishcowboy]

I believe that children need to be taught how to dress (for they are not dressing to cover themselves anymore) and to use make up PROPERLY.....

young teens are not too young to teach this to.... too many parents are letting their children just do as they please

mike

[Believer1997]

This is an old thread and the OP subject is probably old enough now to wear the make-up... but... It's one of my concerns with what parents do - I do not know why anyone would encourage through apathy or non-parenting... their children to look and be perceived as being older than they are - especially little girls. I saw a child the other day who may have been 8 years old with acrylic nails (painted hot pink) and make-up - eyeshadow, mascara, blush, etc. I was just pained at the way this little girl was dressed and made-up. I just don't understand - she will grow up soon enough - she should be a child - and if she's pushing this - the parents need to say - NO.... you are too young. I can recall my daughter dressing up in my shoes and putting some lipstick on and playing "grown-up" - but when she was tired of that game, we washed that little face and she went back to playing with her dolls or on her swing set. I cherish those memories and those of her when she was 15 and going to her first 'dress up' dance at school... when she left the house - she looked lovely and she looked... 15... a young lady.

[Fez]

I watched a documentary recently called "painted babies", it was about beauty competitons for kids (can't recollect how old - probably 5 or 6 year olds?).

What disgusted me more that aything was the parents attitude. They treated winning like life and death. The one poor child does nothing but attend dancing, singing, speech and deportment classes after school and then travels, or flies to pagents nearly every weekend.

What sort of life lessons are these kids learning. It is more about the parents than the kids. To see a 6 or 7 year old parading in a swimsuit, with a professional hairdo, and caked with makeup, made me sooo sad.

[Axxman]

Ultimately...this is a thread of opinions. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Each parent is responsible for their own decisions in raising their children. Some parents have age limits on when their boys are allowed to participate in organized sports...some have limits on when girls can wear make-up. In the end its a judgement call for each parent...because in reality every child is different.

[Believer1997]

That's absolutely true, Axx.... yet, it's pretty uncommon to find an 8 year old little girl who requires make-up... that's just - bizarre. But, as you say there are different rules for different parents and all children are ... different.

[princess2000]

I honestly don't see the point in make-up, I'm in High School, I'm a girl, but I don't care about make-up, I really only put it on for Christmas, Easter, and school dances. I think it's because my dad always told me how beautiful I was growing up, especially when I was 12, so I feel no need to dress like other girls unless they're dressing modestly or wear gobs of make-up because I know I'm beautiful, and if I've learned anything from all the chastity talks I've sat through (standard at catholic teen retreats) it's that guys go for the all natural confidence. I like to think I've turned a few guys around (they all asked me after I started dating my first and current boyfriend) I turned them down, and while very persistent they also learned to be more gentlemen like. I think that's a step up for the next girl they ask out.

So no, make-up and skimpy clothing is not acceptable at any age in my opinion. However, girl's need confidence to understand this.

Just my humble opinion

~Beka

[artsylady]

Brianna

I'm 12 and Thank God I don't wear make-up! I don't see why people use make-up.

Princess

I think it's because my dad always told me how beautiful I was growing up, especially when I was 12, so I feel no need to dress like other girls unless they're dressing modestly or wear gobs of make-up because I know I'm beautiful, and if I've learned anything from all the chastity talks I've sat through (standard at catholic teen retreats) it's that guys go for the all natural confidence.

Thank God for your upbringing. Your dad's opinion had a great affect on you. Dad's take note!