grace222 Posted December 8, 2007 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 99 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/17/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted December 8, 2007 My 19 year old nephew is getting married very soon to his 19 year old fiance. They are having an extravagant wedding over 200 guests at $80 per head for the reception. He is paying for his relatives and she is paying for her relatives. He gets married on the Saturday and on the Sunday goes back to the Navy. He will be away a week before they start their honeymoon together. She is studying to become a school teacher and He is in his 2nd year in The navy. He told me he wants to stay in the navy for 10 years so he can save a lot of money. I thought the marriage would be most important. As an auntie, I am concerned. I think they are both too young - but I can't interfere. What do you think about them marrying with such an extravagant wedding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypeartree Posted December 8, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 540 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 32,980 Content Per Day: 5.05 Reputation: 23,782 Days Won: 235 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/23/1953 Share Posted December 8, 2007 If they can afford it what difference does it make Girls often "plan" for many years what they want their fairy tale wedding to be like ...lots cannot afford it or change their minds but in the end it is up to them ...hopefully it is the ONLY wedding either of them is going to have so whay not let them have the day they want and the memories it will give. As for him being in the navy ...well they both know what it entails and if they are sensible then it can work very well ( one of my aunts is married to a career sailor ...they ahve been very happy together for the past 40 years and the only hiccup was when he retired and they had to adjust to him being home all the time ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marnie Posted December 8, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 811 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 7,338 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 76 Days Won: 2 Joined: 10/06/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted December 8, 2007 I stopped reading at $80.00 a head for the reception. If this was my kid, I'd have put the kibosh on it. At 19, for goodness sake...sounds like her mother is living vicariously through her daughter's dream wedding. Over the top? I think so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Biblicist Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 The more important questions to ask are; what is their relationship to the LORD, and, what is their relationship to each other. Age does not matter. I was two months shy of 20, and my husband was 20 when we married. He came home from Army Advanced Individual Training, three days later we were married, we had a two week honeymoon then he left for his duty station, 2000 miles away, in Germany. There he stayed, alone, for 5 months till he could get through all the paperwork and red tape to bring me there. We each had/have a wonderful relationship with the LORD and we were very close friends for many years before we married. Those are the things that have mattered in our marriage. Those are the things that have kept us together. $16,000 is not an extravagant wedding. In fact, it's rather modest and it is wonderful that they are paying for their own share. I've seen girls spend up to a half a million dollars on a wedding. Sheesh! All the homes in my family don't add up to that much. It sounds to me like these two have their priorities together and are very mature. Be happy for them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Biblicist Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 I stopped reading at $80.00 a head for the reception. If this was my kid, I'd have put the kibosh on it. At 19, for goodness sake...sounds like her mother is living vicariously through her daughter's dream wedding. Over the top? I think so. Marnie, you should have kept reading... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Biblicist Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 If they can afford it what difference does it make Girls often "plan" for many years what they want their fairy tale wedding to be like ...lots cannot afford it or change their minds but in the end it is up to them ...hopefully it is the ONLY wedding either of them is going to have so whay not let them have the day they want and the memories it will give. As for him being in the navy ...well they both know what it entails and if they are sensible then it can work very well ( one of my aunts is married to a career sailor ...they ahve been very happy together for the past 40 years and the only hiccup was when he retired and they had to adjust to him being home all the time ) I've heard of this happening to many couples, not just sailors. It's actually been classified as a syndrome. Retired Husband Syndrome... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redefine_Me Posted December 8, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 543 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/28/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/15/1966 Share Posted December 8, 2007 ehhh. I would have to know the financial situations & lifestyles of the families to comment on the expense. If they've got the money and it will not create hardship and they are not going into debt - it would be hard for me to say anything against it. i mean, there are a zillion things better to do with the money. And if my parents had that kind of money to spend - personally, if it were me, I would rather it go toward a house, etc. But I've never understood big weddings and the expense. I agree that it is not an ideal situation with their age and him leaving and her going to school, etc.... but hopefully their parents have counseled them and I pray they are involved in a good church home and are Christ-followers. Young love.... what-r-ya-gonna-do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other one Posted December 8, 2007 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 29 Topic Count: 599 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 56,250 Content Per Day: 7.56 Reputation: 27,981 Days Won: 271 Joined: 12/29/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted December 8, 2007 Wedding for 200 at $80 a head is $16000. That is about the average price for a very nice wedding outside of your personal church. My daughter's wedding was in the courtyard of a historical society's show house here in Oklahoma City, and cost us about half again as much per head. I think it was about the best money I've spent in my life when you consider the pure joy it brought to everyone there, and moreso myself. We just didn't invite quite 200 people. BTW I had put money aside a little at a time for years to cover it..... we don't do credit. The $80 per person is not overboard on an average wedding.... inviting 200 people might be, depends on the people involved and their financial ablilites to cover the cost. Hey, it's just half a new truck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grace222 Posted December 8, 2007 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 99 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/17/2007 Status: Offline Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 Excuse me peoples, you seem to forget the wedding isn't costing $16,000 - there is more cars wedding gown flowers photographer church hiring bridesmaids dresses I would say the wedding is costing about $50,000 and more! And we live in Australia. The current interest rate is crazy. They would have benefitted from putting the deposit on a house. I think it's extravagant and I think it's crazy!! If they can afford it - NO they cannot afford it.Her parents are paying for most of it and so is the young navy boy. My! My! My! My husband and I had a $4000 wedding in 1998 with all of the trimmings and bought our first home in 1999!!! And then our 2nd home 2 years ago!! We got it right - they havn't As far as spirituality is concerned, they are both Catholics and I am not sure where their hearts stand with the Lord. My nephew swears a lot, and dosn't talk about his relationship with the Lord so it's hard to say!! This is an extravagant wedding!! when I was 19 years of age, I was still helping my mother and father around the home. I was only a baby. They are babies. They are not mature adults. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 Bless Them Both! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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