Is this over the top or normal..

[grace222]

thanks for all your great responses,

but I have to agree to disagree,

I know my nephew and I KNOW he is too immature to know what he wants!

For one of his gifts he wanted a SONY playstation -is this a mature young man?

I don't think so!

While I was talking to him the other day, he told me how much fun and frivolty he and his mates got up to when they went to some island off Australia and spent all their money and have fun.

Mature? I don't think so!

I know his mother is behind all the pushing to get married because she did this with my wedding

to my husband.....

She and my Mother in law kept on saying, 'You better hurry up and get married because you may be tempted to a sexual sin. But for us, it was not so, because we knew when to set boundaries and I was 32 when I got married.

So..I know he has been pushed into marriage this early purely for the reason

that he dosn't have sex outside marriage.

If her parents want to waste money then that's their problem!

I wish them well though.

They are not christians...

[sierra21]

thanks for all your great responses,

but I have to agree to disagree,

I know my nephew and I KNOW he is too immature to know what he wants!

For one of his gifts he wanted a SONY playstation -is this a mature young man?

I don't think so!

While I was talking to him the other day, he told me how much fun and frivolty he and his mates got up to when they went to some island off Australia and spent all their money and have fun.

Mature? I don't think so!

I know his mother is behind all the pushing to get married because she did this with my wedding

to my husband.....

She and my Mother in law kept on saying, 'You better hurry up and get married because you may be tempted to a sexual sin. But for us, it was not so, because we knew when to set boundaries and I was 32 when I got married.

So..I know he has been pushed into marriage this early purely for the reason

that he dosn't have sex outside marriage.

If her parents want to waste money then that's their problem!

I wish them well though.

They are not christians...

So why'd you bother asking what we thought? I guess you were looking for everyone to agree, and when we didn't, you just kinda blew us off. There's a lot of wisdom in some of these posts, and it would benefit you to sit back and read them with an open mind.

And as far as your nephew wanting a playstation- my husband bought one for himself as a reward for getting through RCMP (our national police force) training. That doesn't sound so immature....but then that's just me. Most men between the ages of 18-30 have some sort of game system....

And as for your last comment. It isn't up to any of us to question someones faith, as tempting as that may be.

[Matthitjah]

My 19 year old nephew is getting married very soon to his 19 year old fiance.

They are having an extravagant wedding over 200 guests at $80 per head

for the reception.

He is paying for his relatives and she is paying for her relatives.

He gets married on the Saturday and on the Sunday goes back to the Navy.

He will be away a week before they start their honeymoon together.

She is studying to become a school teacher and He is in his 2nd year in The navy.

He told me he wants to stay in the navy for 10 years so he can save a lot of money.

I thought the marriage would be most important.

As an auntie, I am concerned.

I think they are both too young - but I can't interfere.

What do you think about them marrying with such an extravagant wedding.

Grace to you,

I am a Caterer.

To be honest with you, the Food depending on if it is a Buffet or a Sit-Down service could cost you up to $35-$40 per person on the High end in a Sit-Down service with extravagant food, which by the way I can do. Or on the Low end meaning; a bare bones Buffet self serve, you could pay a minimum of $15 a person, which I would not undertake at all for any reason other than the Lord leading me to be charitable. To a higher range of about $22 per person for a High end Buffet which would equate to an average casual party I cater. Even small weddings are in this range with a minimum of 60 people. If there are less people the price goes up because it's just not profitable for me to work for the whole day otherwise.

Then you would have to consider the cost of any drinks which are seperate. A bar would cost much more. The Cake may be included in this which can equal the Bar cost. Then you have the Catering Hall rental, which again can equivicate the Cake and the Bar.

We had a 200 person Wedding last year at our Church that I oversaw as a kind of event Manager. The cost was probably twice what you are quoting, but it was sincerely beautiful and the Caterer was exceptional not too mention the rented tent, which looked like a Castle, the there was the Granita drink machines (non alcohol of course), the 3 huge generators, the rented dance floor, etc.......

I was blessed to be part of it and still often think it was a picture of the Wedding Feast we will partake of in Heaven.

Peace,

Dave

[Guest Biblicist]

If her parents want to waste money then that's their problem!

If you really feel that way then stop making it your problem. Get them a modest, grown up gift, and let it go. You can't expect non-christians to act like Christians.

Personally I think the younger the better. I know many young couples that married and are still happily married.

Proverbs 5:18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

Remember that God always honors marriage. Her mothers statement that "getting married helps to avoid sexual sin", is Biblical.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

[TheoMike]

My wife told me about this thread, so I thought I'd give the preacher's penny's worth of opinion, which is probably all its worth.

The short answer is NO, this is not over the top at all. I think your scenario is on par with a lot of the weddings I have done in recent years.

The long answer is probably YES, it is over the top. From an economic viewpoint, it makes no sense to spend that kind of money on something like this. Generally, what happens is the happy couple comes to me and the bride informs me she wants just a small, simple wedding. I'm thrilled with this, because the simpler the better for me. However, by the third or fourth session, the "small, simple wedding" has morphed into what we affectionately refer to as "the wedding of the century." It's amazing. I used to think all brides were basically deluded, now I am convinced they just lose their minds the closer they get to "their day." Of course, I am joking here, but what happens between the "small, simple wedding" and "the wedding of the century" is something that no man can hope understand. I've concluded after 25 years of ministry, this is a condition that afflicts most brides, and the only thing the groom and all the other males involved can do is just sit back, be supportive, and show up for the ceremony. Face it, it's HER day, and HER day alone. Onlookers may not get it; we may not understand the subtleties of the high priced flowers she chose or why she picked the most expensive pillow to sit the rings on, or whatever, but these things, I assume, all have some kind of meaning for the bride.

So, I say no matter how over the top it may seem, the bride deserves her day in the spotlight. Grace, I agree 100% with you, but there's not a thing you can do about it, nor should you. This is the bride's day. You just have to let her have it. Show up smiling and pray that when the dust settles, these kids find the Lord.

[Guest]

Hear! Hear!

[sweetycakes]

I stopped reading at $80.00 a head for the reception. If this was my kid, I'd have put the kibosh on it. At 19, for goodness sake...sounds like her mother is living vicariously through her daughter's dream wedding.

Over the top? I think so.

The words 'Scrooge' and 'Grinch' spring to mind

Romeo and Juliet were only 14 and 13.....and that was a true story, wasn't it?

[Marnie]

I stopped reading at $80.00 a head for the reception. If this was my kid, I'd have put the kibosh on it. At 19, for goodness sake...sounds like her mother is living vicariously through her daughter's dream wedding.

Over the top? I think so.

The words 'Scrooge' and 'Grinch' spring to mind

Romeo and Juliet were only 14 and 13.....and that was a true story, wasn't it?

It was not a true story. And I am NOT a Scrooge....just....frugal.

[Guest rachel_56]

Hey

I thought i might just add my 2 cents, for what its worth.

I am 20 and got married at 19 , 6 months ago. My husband is a few years older than me though.

We had 80 guest at our wedding and paid aroung $200 per head, that may seem over the top also.

Alot of my family couldn't understand , why i didnt wait a few more years, getting married so young seemed such a foolish dream to them.

But i look back on my wedding and wouldn't change a thing, i also don't think getting married at 19 is for everyone its hard work.

But for some its just meant to be , and wether or not it works out for them in there marriage at the end of the day its their life and not yours.

The most loving thing you can do to help them is pray for a Godly and blessed marriage.

Sorry it sounds harsh but , we need to let people live their own lives.

[Guest rachel_56]

thanks for all your great responses,

but I have to agree to disagree,

I know my nephew and I KNOW he is too immature to know what he wants!

For one of his gifts he wanted a SONY playstation -is this a mature young man?

I don't think so!

While I was talking to him the other day, he told me how much fun and frivolty he and his mates got up to when they went to some island off Australia and spent all their money and have fun.

Mature? I don't think so!

I know his mother is behind all the pushing to get married because she did this with my wedding

to my husband.....

She and my Mother in law kept on saying, 'You better hurry up and get married because you may be tempted to a sexual sin. But for us, it was not so, because we knew when to set boundaries and I was 32 when I got married.

So..I know he has been pushed into marriage this early purely for the reason

that he dosn't have sex outside marriage.

If her parents want to waste money then that's their problem!

I wish them well though.

They are not christians...