Just a Tad Upset...Need Advice....

[Tony Trout]

I'm basically new here but I have been encountering a recurring problem with my pastor. I am disabled with mild CP (Cerebral Palsy) and Hydrocephalus (water on the brain) but God has marvelously gifted me with the ability to play several different musical instruments and I also sing as well.

In 1998 my church had a pastoral change. Also, around this time, I landed a job playing lead guitar for a local band here where I live (Irons In The Fire)

and I've been having to battle with my pastor ever since that day.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago:

My pastor and our church clerk/secretary (who's also been on my case 'bout this) cornered me after church and my pastor point blank asked me:

My Pastor: Do you want God to bless you?

Me: Yes.

My Pastor: Well, get out of those bands.

Now, if anybody wants to tick me off in a hurry then there's no better way to do it than to try to tell me how to run my life or definitely tell me what to do in regards to playing music. Until God says, 'Stop!'...well, it ain't happening.

The place I play at on the weekends is a restaurant (with a dance area) and there is no drinking or anything unruly allowed down there. The owners are Christians and they go to church. His response to my response to his question very highly ticked me off and I've thought about just telling him to find another keyboard player for the church....I realize he's my pastor and that I'm under authority to him as a member of my church but...I think he's way out of line telling me to stop doing the thing that I love to do....God has not yet convicted me of playing in these bands and until He does? Well....you can guess what my answer to them will be. I wrote an email to the church secretary (who's also been on my case 'bout this as well) and explained the situation...I didn't send the email because it was written out of anger....

Carolyn,

Ok...look...here's the deal...I'm not a very happy man right now.....my button has been pushed too far tonight....

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has gifted me with the ability to play music...be it either secular or Christian music.

As much as I love Gale Jenkins, he (IMO) was way out of line tonight to tell me to stop playing with the guys in GA and Irons (yes, I still do play with them and will do so until after July 17, 2008 when I will be committing myself full time to the Georgia gig). Unless God tells me to stop and specifically shows me what He wants me to do, it's not happening.

I realize that since Gale is my pastor that I am under authority to him as a member of the church but I really think he majorly overstepped his boundaries by (in my opinion) trying to tell me what to do in regards to the type of music I play because what I do outside of the church is none of his business, IMO.

It seems like everybody's on my case here recently 'bout me playing the type of music I play. They may do so in a joking manner, but I'm frankly getting a bit tired of it. As a good example, even though Tim (the P&W team leader) knows what I do on the weekends, he's not as outspoken because he knows that this is all I can do.

As I said, until God tells me to do something different and He gives me a clear vision of what that something is and He opens that door, I will continue to do what I'm doing.

The owners of the Morganton Music Park are Christians and they go to church (as do most everybody else down there, in case you're wondering) and they absolutely do not allow any kind of unruly activities to go on down there but if it somehow does happen, that particular person is escorted off the property and told never to come back.

I'm sorry if this email upsets you but I'm very tired of people trying to tell me what to do as far as what music I play. If I'm wrong in my assumptions, I pray that God (and you and Gale) will forgive me but I feel like (at least for the last little while) I'm continually being picked on in regards to playing secular music....it's just a freaking job, for Pete's sake!! How many times do I have to explain that? If I was going out and getting drunk on Fridays and Saturday nights while doing this, I could see your point but I don't do that and have no desire to do that.

Anyway...I've said what I wanted to say....if it upsets you, I'm sorry...but I just don't think Gale was "in the right" by flatly (at least in my opinion) telling me to quit the bands I'm playing in. If he asks, I'll tell him the same thing I just told you in this email. I've had too many discussions with him already about this to count....and I'm very tired of having to keep explaining it.

If Gale's that uncomfortable with me playing secular music, he may feel free to tell me to step down as the keyboard player at the church.....

God Bless,

Tony

I didn't send the email above because it was written in anger...but I am going to discuss this with them...I'm frankly tired of feeling like I'm being judged just for having a job or something to do to pass my time!

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Edited March 19, 2008 by Tony Trout

[Trusting Jesus]

Hmm....I am assuming that it is a secular band playing secular music, right? Well, so much of the secular music is about worldly things, but we are living in the world. I have read recently of many Christian musicians playing in secular bands who have had a wonderful ministry there. Does playing in the bands interfer with church or your Christian walk?

I'm thinking that you need to sit down with your pastor -- not in anger -- and listen to his reasoning. Then he needs to listen to you. The church secretary needs to be out of it. If you and the pastor can't agree it may cause problems in you trouble in church and he may ask you to not play in the church. Your pastor is a spiritual guide and is responsible for the church. But you don't answer to man -- you answer to God. If you are being a good witness for Christ in the band, then you need to pray and let the Holy Spirit guide you in what you decide to do.

<>< ><>

Nathele

[Tony Trout]

Hmm....I am assuming that it is a secular band playing secular music, right?

Yes, it is.

Does playing in the bands interfer with church or your Christian walk?

No, it does not. The guys I play with all respect that I'm a Christian and they don't badger me about it.

I'm thinking that you need to sit down with your pastor -- not in anger -- and listen to his reasoning. Then he needs to listen to you. The church secretary needs to be out of it. If you and the pastor can't agree it may cause problems in you trouble in church and he may ask you to not play in the church. Your pastor is a spiritual guide and is responsible for the church. But you don't answer to man -- you answer to God. If you are being a good witness for Christ in the band, then you need to pray and let the Holy Spirit guide you in what you decide to do.

<>< ><>

Nathele

I partly agree with you. I think I also need to talk with the church secretary and get her off my back about this. She's not been going to my church long at all and it seems like she's continually hounding me about this (yes, she's siding with my pastor about this). I is definitely going to sit down with him and find out what's going on...I'm just very tired of dealing with this situation...how would he feel if I point-blank told him to quit his day job working in construction?

Edited March 19, 2008 by Tony Trout

[O'Dannyboy]

Don't let it bother you. Whenever they confront you about it just give them a blank look untill they go away. When they realise they are not going to change your mind it will be their move. Don't quit playing keyboards but make them tell you that you can't. The only power they have over you is what you or God gives them. There are bullys in all walks of life and inevitably you will have to deal with each one as they come. You will either have to ignore them untill they go away or you will have to face them down. I prefer they get bored and go away.

[nebula]

This is tough.

On the one hand, you need to submit to authority.

On the other hand, how can you be salt and light to the world if you aren't out in the world?

Maybe you should use that as a focus to your pastor and secretary.

Prayers for wisdom.

BTW, I listened to your link. Although I personally don't listen to secular music, I do like good bluegrass - and your music is good bluegrass!

[~~ angelique ~~]

Personally, I don't think it was any of their business and I would be highly peeved if someone did this to me! Just ignore it. This sounds really clean and a safe place for people to go. However, I would calm down and wait a bit before talking to them about this.

[Hunterpoet]

Well, I might be too old to apperciate the type of music your playing, so I'll leave off that for now.

Personally, I have a problem with this whole authority thing. Like someone else mentioned...guidance yes, with a biblical explaination, but to just order you about I think is off base. I wouldn't tolerate it, but thats me.

If what your doing is not leading other folks into sin and you feel it is ok with G-d and have prayed for guidance and the owners are christian...well....I don't have a problem with it.

Like someone else said...ask your church pastor why he feels the way he does....think it over, make a rational decision.

[Tony Trout]

Don't let it bother you. Whenever they confront you about it just give them a blank look untill they go away. When they realise they are not going to change your mind it will be their move. Don't quit playing keyboards but make them tell you that you can't. The only power they have over you is what you or God gives them. There are bullys in all walks of life and inevitably you will have to deal with each one as they come. You will either have to ignore them untill they go away or you will have to face them down. I prefer they get bored and go away.

I'm hoping they'll just stop bothering me about it.

[Tony Trout]

This is tough.

On the one hand, you need to submit to authority.

On the other hand, how can you be salt and light to the world if you aren't out in the world?

Maybe you should use that as a focus to your pastor and secretary.

Prayers for wisdom.

BTW, I listened to your link. Although I personally don't listen to secular music, I do like good bluegrass - and your music is good bluegrass!

I agree....and thank you so much for the kind words. We do all different types of music. Of course, we don't do any heavy metal type stuff or anything like that. It's more "folksy" based and original music. We're opening for Marty Stuart on July 17, 2008 in Hiawassee, GA at the Georgia Moutain Fairgrounds at the Anderson Music Hall. Personally, I'm really looking forward to this show because Marty's always been a favorite of mine.

Personally, I don't think it was any of their business and I would be highly peeved if someone did this to me! Just ignore it. This sounds really clean and a safe place for people to go. However, I would calm down and wait a bit before talking to them about this.

I agree. I'm much calmer now than I was when I came home that night....I was very upset after that discussion....

Well, I might be too old to apperciate the type of music your playing, so I'll leave off that for now.

Personally, I have a problem with this whole authority thing. Like someone else mentioned...guidance yes, with a biblical explaination, but to just order you about I think is off base. I wouldn't tolerate it, but thats me.

If what your doing is not leading other folks into sin and you feel it is ok with G-d and have prayed for guidance and the owners are christian...well....I don't have a problem with it.

Like someone else said...ask your church pastor why he feels the way he does....think it over, make a rational decision.

Thanks to everyone for your replies and advice...it's very much appreciated.....

[sheya joie]

Praying that the LORD will resolve this according to His heart.