The divorce and remarriage question

[cymba22]

None of the options get my vote...your question does though...you ask

Remarriage evil when:

it is never evil...its frowned upon in some cases...mainly because people make a huge unnessacary deal out of it...but its never evil.

Proverbs gives you an idea of the sins God hates...remarrage is not in them.

[KC02]

I agree with you. What God has forgiven, we have to forgive too.

I am amazed at the responses. God doesn't have any scarlet letter children!

None of the options get my vote...your question does though...you ask

Remarriage evil when:

it is never evil...its frowned upon in some cases...mainly because people make a huge unnessacary deal out of it...but its never evil.

Proverbs gives you an idea of the sins God hates...remarrage is not in them.

[kross]

I would like some feedback, mostly attitudes concerning remarriage.

Have any of you remarried ministers had a hard time within certain groups?

One church I went to did not allow folks who were remarried (for any reason but death) to become a member. They instructed people to go back to their first spouse.

Note to my brothers and sisters: I did not start this topic to throw stones or to bring condemnation. I would like to learn something.

Matthew 19:1-8 New International Version

When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"

Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman, commits adultery."

Moses permitted the men to divorce their wives because their hearts had hardened against their wives. It was as if Moses felt sorry for the women who had to endure being married to a man who hated them and treated them badly. So, this is one passage that shows that divorce was permitted (in the Old Testament) for a reason other than adultery.

If one could divorce a spouse because of an infidelity and then remarry, why couldn't one remarry for the reason of abuse and being married to a man with a hard heart. The adultery would seem worse, by far. But usually, people who were involved in an adulterous relationship were stoned to death.

Remember the woman they caught in the act of adultery. They brought her forward and asked Jesus what should be done to her. Where was the man she was involved with? Why didn't they bring him forward with her. Was she committing adultery by herself? But they brought the woman forward, alone, as if whatever a woman did was worse than what a man did.

Look at the Middle Ages, when women had to wear chastity belts. Did the men wear chastity belts to keep themselves chaste? Of course not. So, it seems that throughout the ages, it was okay for a man to sleep around and commit adultery and seed the earth, but not for a woman. All societies seem to be more strict on women than they are on men. A girl gets pregnant out of wedlock, and right away, society blames her. Like she got herself pregnant.

In the religion of Islam, women are circumcised. Every sexually sensitive area of their genitals are cut off or mutilated, and their vagina is sewn up to the size of a match stick. The purpose is to keep the woman chaste and to make sexual intercourse as painful as possible.

But they don't do anything to the men to keep them chaste. I've got suggestion. The believers in Islam should sew the male organ to the man's thigh or to that area directly below the naval. That will keep him chaste. You betcha! And then, right before he gets married, unfasten it so he can use it to get his wife pregnant, and when she is pregnant, sew it back up again.

Why should adultery be overlooked for men, but not for women. Adultery is wrong no matter who does it with whom.

I would like to comment on some of these statements.

First, both people caught in adultry were supposed to be stoned to death.

Second, most Biblical people believe that the law of Moses came from GOD. I point this out because some read the statement above and contribute divorce to Moses and not GOD.

Third, the scriptures do not say that the men had herd hearts towards their wives. It just says they are hard hearted, indicative of an inability to love period.

Fourth, sex isn't just for getting pregnant. It is to establish the emotional bond and for the shear fun of it (in a marriage only of course)

[Smalcald]

I agree all sins are forgiven, totally.

But what does repentence mean in the case of adultery? What does it require? Does it require that you stop committing adultery? Can you take a lover and say look I know this is wrong and repent of it, but I am not giving up my lover? Does that makes sense for a Christian?

[Smalcald]

I agree all sins are forgiven, totally.

But what does repentence mean in the case of adultery? What does it require? Does it require that you stop committing adultery? Can you take a lover and say look I know this is wrong and repent of it, but I am not giving up my lover? Does that makes sense for a Christian?

Smalcald you going to make a lot of people mad telling them they should stop sinning after ''repentance''

Ha, well yes.

I don't mean to. But I do worry about people in these hard cases. My pastor often talks about planned repentance and the danger that does to a person and their faith and their soul. Planned repentance being that you play with sin. We all sin, but when you plan on sinning relying on the grace of God to cover your sin, and then plan on a later repentance, this is the danger. If you cheat, and refuse to stop cheating, how can anyone really say that they actually believe that the cheating was wrong?

[KC02]

So the only remedy is more divorce, more broken families, and more children from broken homes?

And your thesis is: God hates divorce?

Finally, if Jesus gave no exceptions to remarriage, then the Apostle Paul was dead wrong and the whole Bible is suspect. Or at least Paul's writings.

You should get your theology in order before you ride in on the high horse.

I agree all sins are forgiven, totally.

But what does repentence mean in the case of adultery? What does it require? Does it require that you stop committing adultery? Can you take a lover and say look I know this is wrong and repent of it, but I am not giving up my lover? Does that makes sense for a Christian?

Smalcald you going to make a lot of people mad telling them they should stop sinning after ''repentance''

[Smalcald]

I think divorce and re-marriage are both allowed within the exceptions given by our Lord and expanded on by Paul.

I don't think those exceptions apply to a person who commits adultery though, but we should talk about that. It certianly applies to someone who is cheated on, but I don't think it covers the cheater. I don't think people should go out and get divorced if they are in a second or third marriage, I agree with you on that. I just think that people who are having affairs today right now; should cease and desist. Most states have a lengthy divorce process, plenty of time to give up the lover.

It is a hard topic I agree. Most sins, you commit them and they are done you repent and try with all your heart and the Holy Spirit to do better, but adultery is something like an addiction, in the midst of it people do it over and over and really don

[kat8585]

I agree all sins are forgiven, totally.

But what does repentence mean in the case of adultery? What does it require? Does it require that you stop committing adultery? Can you take a lover and say look I know this is wrong and repent of it, but I am not giving up my lover? Does that makes sense for a Christian?

What gets me is that it seems to make it ok if you "repent" by marrying the person you were committing adultery with!!!!!!

[Smalcald]

I know, that is why to me this is such a hard issue.

I mean lets face it adultery is sin, but it is no worse than any other sin, so I don't want to leave people thinking that somehow we hold this particular sin out as something that cannot be forgiven.

I honestly don't know the answer, except to say I am glad I will never have to face that situation.

[mjrhealth]

First off there is no biblical grounds for divorce, God gave it to us because of our stubborness and our selfishness. Secondly in Gods eyes, when a man and women have had sex they are married, so if you have had mulitple partners you may have many wives / husbands. Remember the women at the well, how Jesus said she had five husbands, it was becasue she was sleeping with five different men. Simple isnt it. As far as divorce goes. hate it, wish it would go away and die, but we live in this pathetic world where its only going to get worse. People now sleep with anyone they can, its a game, not what God wantd, oh i lost interest in you ill go get a new one. Yes i am divorced, not remarried, dont have a girlfriend, struggle with lust and lonliness, but Jesus will get me through. I asked Him for a wife He gave me one, still love her, and because of it I could never marry anyone else because she would always be in my heart, being a struggle for few years now. As far as people not allowing divorced people etc well they should look deeply at there own lives before condeming others. How quickly we condem but expect Jesus just to forgive us for all we do. Forgiveness is a two way thing. Just read the Lord prayer slowly , youl see.

God bless