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LonerAndy

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Everything posted by LonerAndy

  1. I don't see anything good, nor bad about of them. Specifically as it relates to the Rosary, you don't pray to Mary. So that hole "hail Mary full of grace", that's not a thing for Evangelical Bible-based Christians. Mary can't hear you, and she can't answer you, and she isn't holy, nor can she give you grace. So that's not a thing. But... if you want to hold a cross, or some beads, or whatever while you pray... what business is that to me? Whatever floats your boats. But you pray to the Lord Jesus, not Mary or any other claimed saints. Jesus said, no one comes to the father but by me.... not "by me or Mary".
  2. I recently accepted a job offer Yeah, been there dozens of times. It is nerve racking isn't it. The worst part for me is figuring out how many of my co-workers are sociopaths and how many are good people. For me typically, it's 50/50 "I can talk to this person" vs "This person must be hearing voices in their head at night". people ask you what you want to do with your life and it's like... I don't know Yeah I thought I was going to be a programmer, and couldn't handle it. Then I thought I'd be an engineer, and failed that too. I thought I'd work on cars, and broke the cars. Thought I'd drive truck, and fell asleep at the wheel of a truck doing 65 on the highway. Now my answer is... I don't know, or care at this point. Just whatever. Doesn't matter. Anyway, I'm guessing this is less about financial success and more about having an actual direction, right? You got it. Money is not a motivator for me. It just isn't. In fact, I have many times wished that money did motivate me, because then maybe I would at least be successful at getting money. Yet if I hate the job, then even if it pays more, I end up quitting. I was working at an auto parts store. The manager for whatever reason thought I was wonderful. But I absolutely despised that job. I can not even attempt to tell you how much I considered suicide, or just feigning that I was sick, rather than go to that job. Just bitter loathing and hate for that wretched miserable job. Manager said he was going to put me in management, and promote me, and make me a store manager. I'm sure if I had stayed there, I would be a store manager by now, or even district manager, who knows. But not a chance. Utterly horrific miserable experience. They would have had to pay me millions a year to stay there. you married? Nope, not married. How can I take care of a family, when I can't even hold a job? I've had 40+ jobs in my life, and consistently, the harder I work the faster they dump me like trash. Think about it. What women anywhere near my age, in their 30s or 40s, is going to meet a guy who has no career, no education, no training, no solid job even, who has achieved exactly nothing in his life, no friends, no family, zero, and actually has never been on a romantic date yet even.... and that woman is going to be interested in that? Can you imagine meeting the parents? "Hi, I have no goals, no dreams, no career, failed out of college, no skills, last year I made a good $20K, but I'm currently laid off with applications at Wendy's. Oh I'm in my 40s by the way. I'd like your daughter's hand in marriage!" Yeah, reverse that. If I had a daughter, would I let her marry me? Not a chance. XD "Zara honey? Can I just talk to you a bit about your boyfriend?" Maybe even just a group of friends to hang with. I don't have friends. I'm notoriously odd. Don't like sports. Couldn't care less about football. So people typically find it difficult to relate to me, and I find it difficult to relate to them. I have joined numerous churchy groups, and that never works out either. The last group I joined was over 10 years ago, and I went to this group consistently for about 18 months. I specifically remember the last group meeting I had, where I was sitting on a chair with the group... and I just had this.... epiphany... this magical moment of understanding. I looked around the room, and realized not a single person cared I was there. I realized that if I picked up my Bible, and my coat, and walked out, that no one would even noticed I had left. Then I realized that if I stopped coming, no one would ever miss me. And that's when I realized I really don't care either. I poured everything I had, as best I knew how, into this Church group, and it was all nothing. So folded the chair I was on and put it away, picked up my Bible and coat, and walked out. No one said a word to me, and no one ever contacted me. Almost a year later the leader, or assistant pastor who ran the group sent me a single email, and that was it. So, not doing the church group thing again. Just doesn't work for me I guess. Maybe I'm to blame, but I don't know how to have done it better. If you aren't really feeling enjoyment out of anything though, I might suggest a therapist Yeah, I did that! Went to counseling for several months. Does not appear to have helped much, does it? Oh well. I gave life my best shot.
  3. I guess. If you consider 20 years a rut. Nothing has worked out since college, so since 2000, I've been pretty much where I am. Work, eat, sleep, repeat. Honestly, things were not good before college, but up until I failed out of college, I had just always believed that G-d is good, and things will improve. I still believe G-d is good, but 20 years showed things do not improve. So it's a pretty looooong rut.
  4. Sounds like how I normally tell myself "Shut up and get back to work. No one cares anyway". Keep on truckin. Just gotta get to the end.
  5. Sure, helped a women being abused by her husband, helped at the homeless shelter, gave a person a place to stay that was kicked out of her apartment, allowed an immigrant to stay here while he waited for his wife from Bangladesh to come, fixed a co-workers car that couldn't afford to have it fixed, and even though I've have had an average income of $22K for the last 10 years, I have consistently donated to charities. If that is not enough, what more do you want me to do?
  6. How do you get motivated when you have absolutely no reason to? I know I need a job. But I have 25 years of experience that says, it will just be another miserable job. You get up in the morning, at a time you don't want to get up, to go some place that you don't want to go... to do work you don't want to do. And for what? So you can pay for food and shelter and clothing, so that you can continue to get up, go to work, and continue the monotony of life. You do this day after day, year after year, decade after decade.... then you die. Having a really hard time getting motivated. What's the point? People keep telling me "to praise and serve G-d". Agreed. Now what? People say "work hard and strive for your dreams" Agreed. Is that not what I have been doing? None of my dreams have come true. Every thing I have worked for, and crumbled to dust. For the last 10 years, when people say what are my dreams and goals, I say I have none. What's the point of having a goal that you can't ever achieve, or a dream that never comes true? At this point, I don't even really remember what dreams I ever had. Entire years of my life have gone by, and I don't remember a single thing about those years. Absolutely nothing. So far in 2020, the only thing I remember thinking on a daily basis is.... what's the point? Nothing is going to change. Nothing will improve. Hard to believe something will get better, when since 1999, it has only gotten worse.
  7. So bit late on responding to this. But that's me. I have a different view that many Christians disagree with, and more power to them. My view is, when someone ends the relationship, the relationship has ended. If they want to restart the relationship, that's fine. Let's move to reconcile. But I am absolutely not in favor of this half and half, selective relationship.... where she still gets to use the car, like you are a couple, and yet doesn't have to do anything like a couple. When she decides she doesn't want to be with me anymore... I would cut her off completely. No money. No food. No sleeping here for the night. Nothing. You want the fruits of my hard work, and I want a wife. You want to be with me, then I'll give you all I have. But you want to be separate and still enjoy the perks of what I have.... No. Just no. And I think that I am well within the doctrines laid out in the Bible for this. Look all throughout the old testament and how G-d dealt with the Israelite. All through the book of Judges for example, over and over... the Israelites turned away from G-d, and G-d turned away from them. Nations would come against them, and harm them and oppress them, and G-d did nothing. Nothing. When they turned back to him, G-d would shower down his blessings and save them in their troubles. Happened over and over and over. There was no, turning away from G-d, and G-d still let them use the car. No, you turn away, and G-d turned away too. He was very much a "Of you think you can do it better on your own, good luck with that". And some will say, well that was the OT, in the New Testament, it is different. Really? Did you read revelations? The letters to the seven Churches where he said over and over 'I hold this against you' and 'turn back and repeat the first works, or I will come quickly and take away your light'? Same thing. "You have lost your first love" Sound familiar? Revelations chapter 2. So it is my opinion that you are under no obligation to help someone who has rejected your relationship. That doesn't mean I'm against reconciliation, and if she turns back, I'm more than happy to bring her back into the home. But until then, yeah, she doesn't get the car, or money, or anything. She's on her own, until she repents. As far as the kids, I would absolutely file for custody. Our society is plain stupid on these child custody laws. Every single bit of research ever done, shows fathers have the biggest influence on children, both boys and girls. Fathers matter more than mothers. Flat out. It's a fact. You as their father, will have more of an impact on your kids, than you will ever know in your life time. Children that grow up without mothers, is bad. But children without fathers, is absolutely devastating. I would get custody of the children as quickly as possible. Yes it will be tough on you, but this is the absolute best thing for your children's future. If you can't get custody, because our laws are insane, then I would tell your ex.... every day, that the children are welcome to stay with you. Make it clear that if she ever find it overwhelming, that you will take care of the children. Eventually even the most... mentally difficult.... of women will figure out that the kids are better off with their father. (I was trying to be nice). And lastly, never say anything bad about your ex, ever... to anyone... ever. No matter how much she may deserve being chewed out, you can't damage the kids, with Father insulting mother. And don't say it to other people, where by accident or intention, it ends up being repeated to the kids. So in conclusion.... No, I would not loan out the car to a women I am not with. I wouldn't loan it out to a stranger on the street, and you are no longer my wife, so I'm not loaning my car out to you either. Yes, I would file for custody of the kids, absolutely. You are the father. Fathers are absolutely vital to children growing up mentally healthy and stable. Fathers have far more influence on children than the mother ever has, and you will never known what effect you have. I would make it clear that you wish to reconcile the relationship, but that until such a time, that you will not provide any financial or monetary support (unless compelled by the state), but no car, no crashing here for the night. You are a stranger now, that is not my wife. If she ends up with the kids somehow, I would make it clear the kids are welcome to come and stay with you, and that you will take care of them. However, that does not apply to her. Until she wants to be your wife, the kids are welcome, but she is not. You don't shack up with strangers. She wants to be a wife, she can come be married and be a wife. Hope that late advice, helps.
  8. ahhhh This is the one thing I don't like about this forum. Threads are never retired. A month ago, I responded to a post that was from 2015. Someone had dug up this old thread, and it was at the top of the list, and I replied to it. And I always feel stupid when I find out the thread is super old. They need to just auto-lock 6 month old threads.
  9. Yes, I generally agree with that. It is possible to have a friendship between sexes before being married, but I would generally avoid that. And absolutely never get involved with someone that you have no intention to marrying. Because emotions grow, whether you intend to marry or not. If you become emotionally connected to another person you have no intention of marrying, then you are essentially practicing for divorce. You get connected, break apart, get connected again, and break apart. Best to not do that. Only have a real relationship with your wife or husband. Only date to have a spouse. Never date for fun. So essentially I would agree with everything your father taught. I have had some friendships with women, as a man. It didn't bother me really, but even just looking back on it, and comparing those friendships with what I have seen other people go through.... I would generally not recommend that men do, what I have done. If my son or daughter suggested doing what I did, I would strongly advise them against doing what I did.
  10. No, faith is not a work per say, but without works you can't really have faith. Faith involves doing works. It's kind of like saying you love your wife, but then you refuse to do any works at all that show love. Do you really love her then? If you never pick her up when she falls, or buy her food, or give her clothes, or feed her when she's sick, or anything else.... do you actually love her? It simply must show up somehow in your actions. Or it's just empty words.
  11. I believe.... that... I was predetermined to not believe in predestination. I'll let you figure out how that works
  12. It's wrong. That's what I know. Essentially universalism is a basis for the claim that all religions are basically the same. You'll hear people saying "we're all worshiping the same god".... bzzzt.... wrong. You'll also hear "all roads lead to...." BZZZT.... wrong. All you have to do is read Jesus himself, which is the core foundation of our faith: "I am THE way... THE truth.. THE life... and no one comes to the father but by me" -Jesus So... all other methods for getting to G-d, or Heaven, or Salvation... that don't involve Jesus... they don't go to G-d or Heaven or lead to Salvation. Therefore... Universalism is false.
  13. If you mean is their a prayer called the sinners prayer in the Bible... no. There is no such prayer that I am aware of. If you mean, is it Biblical to have someone pray for salvation, and confess theirs sins and belief in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, yes. That is in the Bible in several places.
  14. Not real clear on what the question is. The rapture is in the Bible, that many will be swept up to Heaven in an instant. The armor of G-d is faith, righteousness, and peace. Ephesians 6. Why bother? Because it's better than unbelief, turmoil, and wickedness. If that did not answer the question you were trying to ask, please clarify the question.
  15. First, off, you don't move in with a boyfriend. Period. Whether you have a boyfriend you trust or not, you do NOT LIVE WITH BOYFRIENDS. G-d does not bless those who shackup. Great way to screw up your life. Don't do that. So let's move on from that. Second, you are only a slave as much as you allow other people to dictate your life. If you let your parents tell you that you are buying a house, then you are a slave. You need to start making choices of your own. No one can force you to do this. No one can make you start acting like an adult. You and you alone have to make the choice with G-d's help, to be and adult. So I'm going to tell you, as someone who has been in the situation you were in... that everything you said is dead on right. Everything you wrote in this post is absolutely correct. Where you said "I just wouldn't feel like an adult" Listen to me... listen... you are absolutely right. I know, because I've done it, and you won't feel like an adult. You will feel like a toddler, following mommy and daddy. DO NOT DO THIS. I'm telling you, everything you are fearing, is G-d's little voice screaming in the back of your mind "don't do this". I truly believe that G-d gave women specifically a special intuition that warns them about things, that me as a dumb man, I just wander into and wonder why my life sucks. That intuition you have is there to give you the warnings you need to avoid disaster. When that warning alarm is going off in your head, you need to pray and listen to that alarm. Why is it going off, and what should I be looking out for? And you just detailed all the problems. Do not do this. Do not buy this house. Tell parents "Sorry, I'm not doing this". On top of this, as a general rule, if you don't plan on staying in the house for at the very least 5 years.... don't buy a house. Don't do it. Rent an apartment. Rent something. Lastly, everything you have told me about your parents, suggests that you are going to end up wrecking your life. Just think this through with me... Your parents are saying "well, we'll just take it from you" That's a lie. Honestly, that is flat out, a lie. Because if they were capable of taking it from you.... they would be buying the house themselves without you. The whole reason they are dragging you into this mess, is because they can't take over a house. And the reason they can't buy a house, (I would wager) is because the bank knows they are not good for the money. You buy this house for them, you know what you just made yourself? You made yourself, their personal bank. And they are going to make you go broke. You need to flat out, put your foot firmly on the ground in front of them, and say... NO... Just "No". "No" is a complete sentence in the English language. Honor your parents, doesn't mean do everything they say. Be an adult. Take charge of your life. I don't care how much you claim to need a place to stay. THIS, what you are talking about... not the way. This is not your path. This is the path to hell on Earth, that is paved with good intentions. If you really want to leave, you need to get a better job, find someplace that pays more money, and get a rental. You say you want to leave the State, maybe NOW is that time. Or go to your Church, talk with your pastor, ask if any woman like you, needs a roommate, or is willing to split a rental. BY THE WAY.... Another reason that you need to absolutely not do this deal, is because your parents were checking your credit score behind your back. That is not just horrible, it is terrifying. Your parents have no business whatsoever, in checking up on your personal finances. Now don't go telling them this... that doesn't work. What I would do, is close your accounts at your bank, and open new accounts at a new banks. And I would put a fraud alert on your credit. Honestly... because if they have your information so they can get your credit score.... what else are these people into? Truthfully. If you have any accounts your parents know about.... close them. If you have your bank account at the same bank as your parents, I'd switch banks. What they are doing is really uncool. That is not something I would tolerate.
  16. When you are born again as a Christian, and your name is written down in the book of life, I don't think that happens over time. I don't think they write down "A" and then "n" and if you try hard "d" and hopefully if you really work at it, they put the "y" and then you are like finally "Andy" is in the book of life. It's either you accept that Jesus died for sins, and is savior of your life... or you don't. You are either in the book of life, or you are not. Now what does sometimes take time, and is a process, is that of renewing your life and mind. Some people are simply changed instantly from their bondage. Some people do drugs, and get saved, and never do drugs every again for the rest of their entire lives. However, some people have to struggle with it for decades. They slowly grow and learn, and get better at living the Christian life, and are set free from the sins that hold them back, over a period of time. But no, I don't think that being saved itself, is a long process. You are either in, or out.
  17. There is nothing in the Bible about denominations. It is neither bad, nor good. The Bible is clear, that G-d is no respecter of persons. Acts 10:34. There is no special class of people. I would think there would be little need for denominations in Heaven, but it's possible there will be different church, that worship in different ways, just like we have now. Hard to say.
  18. I was a computer programmer at one point. I created the program. I defined how it work. I determined how it operated. When that program didn't operate how I wanted it, I deleted it. G-d created us. G-d defined us. G-d has a right to speak into our lives. The difference between me controlling and dictating how my program works, and G-d determining how we humans work, is that I am a complete mess and I don't love my program. G-d perfect and loves you. He would never ask something of you that was bad for you. He's better at this, than I am at anything. Try and remember that G-d does not just have the right to give you rules for your life, but he also loves you, which is why he cares enough at all to give you rules.
  19. No, there is nothing in the Bible that defines how loud or quiet music in church must be. However, Churches are the product of their culture, and loud music is the culture of the day. Find a church that has the type of service you want. However, the vast majority want the type of service you dislike. That simply is how it is.
  20. Time to get out, and go join a group, and be with peoples.
  21. I don't care about vaping so much. Toss the porn, burn the books, put on a internet blocker, put in a random password, and don't write it down, and lock the computer so you don't even know how to get the porn blocker off. Do whatever it takes. Cut that crap out of your life. Repent, and turn back.
  22. If only our minds were like computers, and you could just delete that file from your memory, right? The best response I've heard was, when you hear something good happened to person X, and your say "good for them" and mean it... then you have forgiven successful. That statement came from a pastor who was betrayed by someone else in the ministry, and it required several years honestly, before he could be happy when something good happened to someone who hurt him. So my point to you is, this is more of a journey than a "say X" *Poof* 'I forgave!'. And of course the bigger the hurt, the longer to heal. But saying you can just forget something that wounded you, not so likely. We're not computers. There is no delete file, and it ceases to exist. Not in this life anyway.
  23. Whom do I thank G-d for? Like Jesus, and your parents? Possibly Ravi Zacharias? Learned a ton from that man. That's about it.
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