Weddings

[Khristeeanos]

artsylady, I agree with you, but I think that a lot of girls are told from the craddle that they must be a perfect bride at this traditional wedding and they buy it.

That is my opinion anyways.

[Guest LadyC]

dime, you're right. we girls are fed a steady diet of the mythically perfect wedding day from the time we get out of diapers. and then most girls are horribly dissappointed when reality hits that there IS no perfect wedding!

ya know, back in the days of the bible, weddings were huge celebrations... but they didn't have caterers! i think the pot luck dinner idea is wonderful!

[Nicks Girl]

Weddings can get very expensive *rediculous* These days weddings are often about how nice it is, or how fancy, or how big. I HATE that. I'm getting married in 23 days! *YAY!* It is going to be around 2-3k, by the time we are done. That is cutting every possible corner, including rings, dress, food, flowers, (basically everything.) If I had my way, I would have just gone and quietly gotten married, but FH wanted the wedding thing. Personally I think you're JUST as married, and you love each other as much.

Spending that kind of money on something that is going to last just a few hours, is not very wise. Alot of couples go into debt paying for their wedding. Not a good way to start your marriage.

I have alot of girlfriends who are spending 10-20 k on their weddings. putting it on credit cards, or their parents are paying for it, and it's hard on the families financially.

I just wanted to add, that we are getting our pics taken by a friend of the family, my caterer is my Great Aunt, who is only charging for the price of the food. We don't have to pay for the church, or anything like that, either.

[Khristeeanos]

Yea, I saw that with my bride and her friends. Even the flower girls who were only 4 years old.

One girl who has known Keisha since she was born and never talked with her (she was about 5 or 6 maybe?) was mesmerised when Keisha walked down the aisle.

And you thought I was the only one!

[artsylady]

i think the pot luck dinner idea is wonderful!

Well, when my daughter's wedding comes up, that's what we'll do, and I'll invite only those people who I know who will be cool enough with the idea and not think it's hokey or cheap.

And that's another thing I hate about weddings come to think about it. Weddings, for some reason, are events where the claws are free to come out. It's perfectly acceptable to critisize the meal, the caterers, to bash the DJ and the bride's choice of everything. The guests feel so much that they are guests of 'honour' that they feel they are to be treated like kings and queens and therefore have the right to look down their noses at everything. Maybe it's just me that feels this way or maybe I've just been mostly to non-Christian weddings. THere I go ranting again.

I want a celebration - a celebration free from debt, guilt, criticism, stress, etc. etc, etc.

And yes, the idea of a big fancy wedding is instilled in girls at a young age. My big sister was buying Bride's Magazine when she was 15 or 16. I guess I'm too practical for all that. As well, I don't like a lot of attention in a big crowd so it was never a thing I wanted for myself.

[other one]

My daughter may get married next year and for some reason it seems to be expected for me to pay for it. We have some serious talking to do and I needed a little information to start to understand. If she wasn't in missionary work I think I'd invite them to elope. I'll just have to see how it plays out.

She is 29 and I really thought she was never going to even get serious about anyone at all, for she never had. Go figure........

Sam

[IslandRose]

Yep, there were several times that my daughter said, I wish I had just eloped. In fact both her dad and I told her that we could just give them the money and they could "elope", with just the parents present. But I guess every little girl want to be a princess for a day.

My younger daughter claims she wants something simpler, a wedding on the beach here in Cayman, but who knows what she will actually want whn the time really comes.

Fortunately I only have 2 daughters!

[Guest LadyC]

other one, as not only a mother of two daughters, but also as a woman who's had two weddings and one renewal of vows myself, maybe this hypothetical would work. especially since being in missionary work, she must be pretty biblically grounded.

dad: honey, let's talk about weddings from a biblical and from a practical perspective.

daughter: ok dad, sure...

dad: well, ya know in the Bible, weddings were wonderful celebrations, but the everybody pitched in. the women in the tribe all worked on preparing the feast and the wedding garments... the men in the tribe provided the music for dancing... the father made sure there was plenty of wine (or punch if you prefer).

you know that no wedding day is ever going to be perfect, and our culture has so idealized the formal wedding that expectations of how it should be usually end up in disappointment.

so, i was wondering if you really want a formal traditional wedding, or if you'd like to make it a less formal, more relaxed type of celebration that everyone could enjoy? maybe an outdoor wedding if the weather is nice, and a big outdoor barbecue instead of a catered reception? then we could give you the money we saved so that you could apply it towards setting up your new home, or for your honeymoon?

daughter: hey, that sounds like fun!

(well, she may not give in THAT easy! )

this is something you really should talk to her about. even when i was younger, i didn't want the big formal thing. i'd been a guest at enough weddings to know those kinds of weddings are boring and stuffy! your daughter may have the same opinion, ya never know til you ask her.

one of my friends had their wedding in her mom's back yard. they rented one of those arches, covered it with silk flowers, and married under that. they rented some folding chairs for the guests. after the wedding, everyone gathered around the bbq pit and had a grand old time!

or the other option... a chapel ceremony. here in vegas, there's a chapel on every corner down in the tourist trap section of town. most large cities have those, and the package deals are usually pretty cheap. the packages might include a limo, a video, photos, flowers, the whole nine yards, and might cost anywhere from $50 to $500, depending on how many of the extras you want in your package!

[stevehut]

I'm with dwinkjr: you don't wanna know.

You can have a wedding in your backyard, with only your closest friends, and serve them cake and punch. Anyone who gets left out, if they're really your friends, they will understand. My wife and I chose to have a cheap wedding, and put the lion's share of our money into setting up housekeeping. That long-term plan is more important than the one big day, I believe.

[refugepsa91]

I agree with you all...theres no need to spend a ton of money...save that for the grandkids!!!

Sam my neice is getting married in a year and a 1/2 and I guess that my sister is going to pay for the wedding....and his parents are going to pay for the reception, my sister said it was being done that way more and more nowadays. Its at least one option you can explore if she doesn't want to elope :il:

Love and Blessings,

Angel