Depression and the holidays

[ColleenLovesMischief]

I know many suffer from depression around the hoildays, and I was wanting to see different opinions on why it could happen. I have had years with absolutely no reason for it to happen, but I wished I didn't have to deal with all of it. I feel that way this year, but I know the reason this time. So anyone have any suggestions why the hoildays can become so dark for some? Also please remember your brothers and sisters in prayer who have trouble this time of year.

[Openly Curious]

'ColleenLovesMischief' date='Nov 22 2009,

I know many suffer from depression around the hoildays, and I was wanting to see different opinions on why it could happen. I have had years with absolutely no reason for it to happen, but I wished I didn't have to deal with all of it. I feel that way this year, but I know the reason this time. So anyone have any suggestions why the hoildays can become so dark for some? Also please remember your brothers and sisters in prayer who have trouble this time of year.

Hey, Yes, there are many who suffer from depression around the holidays and I am one of them and it is not because I want it to happen but it is just bad memories of things that happened.

There are many things that cause depression around the holidays, but it could be just on a single day, a birthday of a loved one, those who are raped and I know of this person that would get really drunk on that day she was raped and she never would drink any other time except that date, there are those who suffer just because they feel they don't measure up, there are so many reasons that can't even be covered.

I am glad that you know the reason of your depression it does help when we figure the source of our depression. Somethings just don't go away as we remember and those things are very sad and tragic this that still are very sad things and those things are still tragic things even though people have survived the tragic ordeal but it's still doesn't take that reality away.

I hope this helps as this is just my opinions.

OC

[~Shalhevet~]

For me it's the less daylight, the cold and being less active, less sun (no vitamin d) all which contribute.

[Guest LadyC]

for the last decade, the joy i once had in christmas was... dampened. it just wasn't as great. my lack of ability to find that joy is because my husband hates the holidays. i never completely understood before, but i DO understand now... and instead of making me more compassionate, it's made me more determined to tell him to suck it up and fake it, because this year i want to feel the way i used to at christmas. so no more bah humbug attitudes in my house.

so why does it happen? well i think LOSS is the primary reason... so many people have lost loved ones during the holiday season, and so they associate christmas (and thanksgiving) with grief. in mark's case, it wasn't that anyone died, it's that the last time he enjoyed christmas, it was the last christmas that he got to spend with his own children. that was like 18 years ago.

he did give it a valiant effort when we married and the girls were living at home. but it was forced, we could all tell. me and the girls wanted christmas music playing 24/7, he didn't want to hear it at all... so whenever he was home, there was no music. he'd put up the tree and the lights, but it always seemed like it was a chore to him. then the girls moved away, and last year we didn't even put up a tree. it was the most horrible holiday i've ever experienced, and it will never ever happen again.

so anyway, his depression is the result of associating grief with christmas. my depression was the result of having someone else step on my joy while i tiptoed around his grief.

i'd say that probably accounts for most people's depression!

[MorningGlory]

I've never been depressed by holidays but I don't like them. They're too much work, too much money and I always feel the desire to throw off the chains and forget about them. It's not to be, my kids and grandkids now look to ME to make holidays memorable so...I do. I do it for them and I will until the good Lord takes me home. But I can see why one who was alone could be depressed by holidays and my suggestion, for anyone who feels this way, is to volunteer to help others less fortunate. I've been told by someone who knows that this usually lifts the spirits. I agree that we should pray for those who find themselves alone and sad during the holidays.

[2Joyful]

Well my depression was some of Lady C's...a hubby that made my life miserable, yet because of the kids, he was Mr HO HO HO. After my kids left home, I stopped everything but the dinner. I still brought gifts, but no big deal wrapping them. I wanted to pull my teeth, because every year the department I worked for would give truck loads of ornaments to me as a token of their thankfulness . I just threw them into a storage bin.....until one day

I realize that people can't take your power, you give it to them. I no longer allow his bondage to effect my holiday.

I snapped out of it, brought a tree, and guess what? 10 years of saving those ornaments, I had enough to covered the tree, except the side closer to the wall, but who cares, the grins on my six grand kids faces, is breathing life in me, where I lacked during their parents days.

And a little bit of Morning Glory's. Man all that cooking and cleaning, taking down the tree then... when the eating was over, everybody would to keep from helping.

That is until I learn a little secret...non of my kids was buying a tree! They brought all their stuff over cause "we'll be over your house any ways"...right

Now it's if you gonna use me, you're gonna help me. So after Christmas dinner is finished, and we've rested...they help take things down.

As for cooking...thank God for Heavenly Ham and the man that fries turkeys. There's a lady that bakes at our church and does cakes and pies.

I do the dressing and side dishes.

Old school has kicked in...the grands does the dishes and their moms put up the food.

Now , I don't have Christmas blue....until I see my hubby coming down the hall with the charge card bill... lol...jotful

PS...CLM...I understand the effect of depression, I suffer with it for years. This is the first year that I have made it without meds. I will pray for you and others that effect by holiday blues....

[MorningGlory]

Well my depression was some of Lady C's...a hubby that made my life miserable, yet because of the kids, he was Mr HO HO HO. After my kids left home, I stopped everything but the dinner. I still brought gifts, but no big deal wrapping them. I wanted to pull my teeth, because every year the department I worked for would give truck loads of ornaments to me as a token of their thankfulness . I just threw them into a storage bin.....until one day

I realize that people can't take your power, you give it to them. I no longer allow his bondage to effect my holiday.

I snapped out of it, brought a tree, and guess what? 10 years of saving those ornaments, I had enough to covered the tree, except the side closer to the wall, but who cares, the grins on my six grand kids faces, is breathing life in me, where I lacked during their parents days.

And a little bit of Morning Glory's. Man all that cooking and cleaning, taking down the tree then... when the eating was over, everybody would to keep from helping.

That is until I learn a little secret...non of my kids was buying a tree! They brought all their stuff over cause "we'll be over your house any ways"...right

Now it's if you gonna use me, you're gonna help me. So after Christmas dinner is finished, and we've rested...they help take things down.

As for cooking...thank God for Heavenly Ham and the man that fries turkeys. There's a lady that bakes at our church and does cakes and pies.

I do the dressing and side dishes.

Old school has kicked in...the grands does the dishes and their moms put up the food.

Now , I don't have Christmas blue....until I see my hubby coming down the hall with the charge card bill... lol...jotful

PS...CLM...I understand the effect of depression, I suffer with it for years. This is the first year that I have made it without meds. I will pray for you and others that effect by holiday blues....

Jot....you're priceless! I'm going to take a page out of your book and make that delightful family of mine do some of the work too. My house looks like the Russian army marched through it after a holiday with all the kids, grandkids, ex-husbands, cousins and other assorted relatives here. And I praise God that your depression is in the past!

[2Joyful]

Well my depression was some of Lady C's...a hubby that made my life miserable, yet because of the kids, he was Mr HO HO HO. After my kids left home, I stopped everything but the dinner. I still brought gifts, but no big deal wrapping them. I wanted to pull my teeth, because every year the department I worked for would give truck loads of ornaments to me as a token of their thankfulness . I just threw them into a storage bin.....until one day

I realize that people can't take your power, you give it to them. I no longer allow his bondage to effect my holiday.

I snapped out of it, brought a tree, and guess what? 10 years of saving those ornaments, I had enough to covered the tree, except the side closer to the wall, but who cares, the grins on my six grand kids faces, is breathing life in me, where I lacked during their parents days.

And a little bit of Morning Glory's. Man all that cooking and cleaning, taking down the tree then... when the eating was over, everybody would to keep from helping.

That is until I learn a little secret...non of my kids was buying a tree! They brought all their stuff over cause "we'll be over your house any ways"...right

Now it's if you gonna use me, you're gonna help me. So after Christmas dinner is finished, and we've rested...they help take things down.

As for cooking...thank God for Heavenly Ham and the man that fries turkeys. There's a lady that bakes at our church and does cakes and pies.

I do the dressing and side dishes.

Old school has kicked in...the grands does the dishes and their moms put up the food.

Now , I don't have Christmas blue....until I see my hubby coming down the hall with the charge card bill... lol...jotful

PS...CLM...I understand the effect of depression, I suffer with it for years. This is the first year that I have made it without meds. I will pray for you and others that effect by holiday blues....

Jot....you're priceless! I'm going to take a page out of your book and make that delightful family of mine do some of the work too. My house looks like the Russian army marched through it after a holiday with all the kids, grandkids, ex-husbands, cousins and other assorted relatives here. And I praise God that your depression is in the past!

Thanks and I love you MG!....you go get them girl!....jot

[Guest LadyC]

jotful, you take the decorations down after christmas dinner??? you don't even wait for new year? oh man!

[2Joyful]

jotful, you take the decorations down after christmas dinner??? you don't even wait for new year? oh man!

LadyC, when there's free help, I take it as I get it lol..........jot