Un-Christian to NOT want to marry a Christian man because of his finan

[fromIslam2Christ]

Run as fast as you can.

i think you're asking the wrong question. instead of wondering if it is unchristian to NOT marry him, i'm wondering why any christian should want TO marry him.

He's a sponge . . . a user of others. Kick him to the curb.

Oh My.

Your comments are so on point! And this is without me even giving the details... that would have made you all even more horrified!! God be praised. This is confirmation.

Thank you!

The reason I asked about it being un-christian is because of the fact that as Christians we should look at the heart of people instead of looks and social status. But indeed, you all recognized the problem which was beyond finances. Finances are a symptom in this 37-year-old man of something even worse.

[MorningGlory]

Run as fast as you can.

i think you're asking the wrong question. instead of wondering if it is unchristian to NOT marry him, i'm wondering why any christian should want TO marry him.

He's a sponge . . . a user of others. Kick him to the curb.

Oh My.

Your comments are so on point! And this is without me even giving the details... that would have made you all even more horrified!! God be praised. This is confirmation.

Thank you!

The reason I asked about it being un-christian is because of the fact that as Christians we should look at the heart of people instead of looks and social status. But indeed, you all recognized the problem which was beyond finances. Finances are a symptom in this 37-year-old man of something even worse.

You're right where you should be in your thinking sister.

[2Joyful]

Greetings,

I know there maybe many that will disagree, but in this day and age, I feel that precaution should be taken when entering into relationships that may lead to

marriage. This is the list that was given to me, I passed it on to my kids up and YES they learned too late. But I tell you now they follow this list, and its

allowing light that shines brightly in dark places.

My mom always said, "Love is grand, but you have got to come out of that bedroom sometimes. And when you do, welcome to the real world."

I have advised my kids to have credit checks done, aids test and other things. If the person has nothing to hide, then there's no reason for them to be upset.

Some people now a days feel that every thing is owed to them, that they shouldn't have to attempt to work at any thing. Of course there are people

that can't work, because of health reason, and you will know. But there are those who have a lifestyle so that they can use a Christian woman to get all they

can, which ends in unproductive and unloving marriages. Some just remain long enough until they have used up the lady and move on to another.

Here is the check list, the Word of God, if you can find any of the examples tell her to "run as fast as she can and don't look back!!"

But I know this, that this the last days, perilous times. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, unthankful,

disobedient to parents, unholy, unforgiving, slanderers, without self control, brutal, despiser's of good, traitors, headstrong, lovers of pleasure rather than

lovers of God, having a form of godliness, but denying its power. And from such people turn away.

For this sort are those who creep into households and make captive weak willed women.....for his folly will be manifested to all....2 Timothy 3:1-5, 6a, 9a, 9c.

Joyful

[Guest]

.... And you realize he has always had one excuse or the other for not working and for depending on friends. I want to be clear this man has a job but has been getting out of having to go to work by getting medical certificates and such.... would it be un-Christian to not want to marry....

Well

Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:

Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler,

Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.

How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?

Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep:

So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man. Proverbs 6:6-11

Of Course Not!

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 1 Timothy 5:8

>>>>>()<<<<<

Be Blessed Beloved Daughter Of The KING

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

Love, Your Brother Joe

[Fez]

. . . Five months later, you realize you have been giving him rides, feeding him, paying for this and paying for that. And you realize he has always had one excuse or the other for not working and for depending on friends. I want to be clear this man has a job but has been getting out of having to go to work by getting medical certificates and such...

To make a long story short, the question is:

would it be un-Christian to not want to marry a man because of his financial status? It is not about wanting to marry a rich man, given the fact that the woman makes a decent living for herself. But at least not having to completely support a man.

Well, my concern isn't his financial status, but his attitude about it.

"Making excuses," "getting out of having to go to work" - that does not sound like he takes responsibility seriously.

The husband should be the head of the household. That doesn't have to mean he has to make more money than the wife, but he needs to be the leader. The way you have described him, he doesn't seem to be leading.

So I would say it is not "unChristian" to not want to continue dating him for this reason.

I agree with Nebula, it is not so much a faith thing, but the fact that he seems not to be able to take responsibility, and that there may be character flaws here.

She should not make the mistake of thinking she can change him. That is a road that leads to disaster.

[Fez]

Greetings,

I know there maybe many that will disagree, but in this day and age, I feel that precaution should be taken when entering into relationships that may lead to marriage. This is the list that was given to me, I passed it on to my kids up and YES they learned too late. But I tell you now they follow this list, and its allowing light that shines brightly in dark places.

I have advised my kids to have credit checks done, aids test and other things. If the person has nothing to hide, then there's no reason for them to be upset.

Joyful

I agree with this fully. I am about to get married. We have both had full medicals, blood tests, and we know each others financial situation to the cent. Even to the fact that I provided three months of bank statements. This was not for any other reason except that when it comes to the "worldly" part of marriage, there are no surprises at all that could raise their heads later, and it allows for pre planning that enables us to assess our joint situation if we want to start the small business we are thinking about.

[ayin jade]

The bible says a man who will not work (who is able to that is) shall not eat.

It sounds like the woman cant respect the man who has this laisse faire attitude about working. If she cannot respect him, then will the marriage work out? Its not about status or money. Its about even tolerating him for a serious character flaw. This is not a good way to start a marriage.

[fromIslam2Christ]

Here is the check list, the Word of God, if you can find any of the examples tell her to "run as fast as she can and don't look back!!"

But I know this, that this the last days, perilous times. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, unthankful,

disobedient to parents, unholy, unforgiving, slanderers, without self control, brutal, despiser's of good, traitors, headstrong, lovers of pleasure rather than

lovers of God, having a form of godliness, but denying its power. And from such people turn away.

For this sort are those who creep into households and make captive weak willed women.....for his folly will be manifested to all....2 Timothy 3:1-5, 6a, 9a, 9c.

Joyful

Well

Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:

Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler,

Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.

How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?

Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep:

So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man. Proverbs 6:6-11

Of Course Not!

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 1 Timothy 5:8

>>>>>()<<<<<

Be Blessed Beloved Daughter Of The KING

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

Love, Your Brother Joe

I agree with Nebula, it is not so much a faith thing, but the fact that he seems not to be able to take responsibility, and that there may be character flaws here.

She should not make the mistake of thinking she can change him. That is a road that leads to disaster.

Thank you so very much. Such wisdom. The Word of God is definitely a lamp at my feet. It says it all!!

Yes, there is a tendency to expect the man to eventually change. Fez, thanks for pointing this out. The checklist Joyful provided, I will definitely pass around. Brother Joe, thanks a lot for this passage of the Word. That was exactly what I needed to read TODAY.

[fromIslam2Christ]

The bible says a man who will not work (who is able to that is) shall not eat.

It sounds like the woman cant respect the man who has this laisse faire attitude about working. If she cannot respect him, then will the marriage work out? Its not about status or money. Its about even tolerating him for a serious character flaw. This is not a good way to start a marriage.

Right on. Respect is at stake here, and already it is harder to tolerate his constant complaining and begging for food, lifts, and countless favours, including cash.

[Believer1997]

The bible says a man who will not work (who is able to that is) shall not eat.

It sounds like the woman cant respect the man who has this laisse faire attitude about working. If she cannot respect him, then will the marriage work out? Its not about status or money. Its about even tolerating him for a serious character flaw. This is not a good way to start a marriage.

Right on. Respect is at stake here, and already it is harder to tolerate his constant complaining and begging for food, lifts, and countless favours, including cash.

I think most of the women I know, have had at one time or another, a male suitor or worse... a husband, who acted this way... I would say that if he is behaving in this manner now - it would be a good time to exit the 'relationship' - such that it is. He is not behaving in a way that is Christian, thus... you have no real obligation that I can see to him.