I just need to talk about this...

[fromIslam2Christ]

I know I don't even deserve sympathy for this.

My cat had been peeing on our beds (my children,s and mine) and on my couch regularly and I was really frustrated. This has been going on since I adopted her. She slept with me every night,though she is the independent type and kept to herself during the day. She never liked to be petted much, only very rarely and would run away quickly afterwards.

She peed on my couch again saturday morning and tried to do it sunday but I caught her in time to stop her. I was tired of it and placed an ad online and right away many people answered and I kept changing my mind about wanting her adopted out. Finally, a young lovely girl called me up and I talked with her and agreed to give her the cat. The next 48 hours I was thinking of calling her back to cancel. The girl is starting veterinary studies in college in the fall and loves animals. I feel she will be loved there.

Anyways she came and got her Wednesday after I had called her to change my mind again.

Bottom line is: This is a nightmare! She is gone, and I miss her, and I feel selfish cruel inhumane for not having invested money and time in a cat behaviourist, or just accepted to live with her pee issues. The only cat lover person I know around here told me to do a ritual with my cat everyday to "comfort her spirit" (needless to say, the lady is part of a spiritualist church!). All my other friends have always thought me stupid for having a cat in my home, let alone dealing with a peeing cat.

I just now read that kittens adopted before 12 weeks are not properly done with weaning (emotional and social) from their momcats. This may explain her problem because I adopted her when she was 9 weeks old.

A real nightmare here!

This is my 3rd cat adoption gone awry: 1st cat was in college, I adopted her as a kitten and my roommate told on me at the housing administration and I was threatened with eviciton. I gave the cat away to an old lady whose husband had just died. 2nd cat was an adult female (2 years old) from the SPCA who was ill and with serious behavioural issues (pooping on different spots of the home, and hating kids) so I treated her (over $250) in the 10 days I had her and returned her to the SPCA where she was adopted right away by a nice lady. Now this one cat.

Makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me. In each case, I ended up being a transition home for the cats and I tended to spoil them and show them so much affection. Maybe I am destined to be a kind of "foster" home for them, rather than a permanent?

Anyways, I just needed to talk about it.

Thanks for listening/reading.

God bless.

[Isaiah 6:8]

sounds like my experience with cats! My wife on the other hand has had better luck.. maybe you need a "Wegie" aka a Norwegian Forest Cat!

[Guest LadyC]

first thing i have to say is that YES YOU DO deserve sympathy!

second thing i have to say is that just because you had three bad experiences (and the one about having to give her away to avoid eviction isn't even really in the same category), that doesn't mean that you won't find the perfect kitty that will become a permanent part of your home.

i have had cats all my life... some longer than others. most of them were pretty permanent, or so i thought, until i got jordy. i've had jordy now for nearly eighteen years... he wasn't a perfect cat, and now that he's older, he's really not perfect and has started peeing in one particular spot in my computer room (even while i'm in here! i've caught him twice!) and when he was younger he used to bite... hard! but i love him. he's my baby. and i know his days are numbered now.

so really what i'm saying is don't give up! you can find a cat that will be almost like a "soulmate" for you... not that i'm very fond of the term soulmate, but i think it applies better to the relationship between pets and people than between people and people LOL.

and also, don't feel guilty or ashamed. it's not like you had the cats put down because of their neurotic problems. they found new homes with people that hopefully will be a better "fit" with their kitties!

[ladypeartree]

I cant have cats as I am alergic to them but I did foster dogs for many years ...it could be hard teaching them to accept people after years of abuse and them handing them over to new families BUT if you think of how much joy you brought into the lives of the people that now have a companion maybe it will make you feel better.

The ONLY time I ever tried to keep a kitten ( along with a cupboard full of anti histemines ) she decided that she like my next door neighbours better (they had three other cats ) ..in the end I handed her over to them as she obviously wasnt settling with me...... she got run over two weeks later

[Massorite]

I know I don't even deserve sympathy for this.

My cat had been peeing on our beds (my children,s and mine) and on my couch regularly and I was really frustrated. This has been going on since I adopted her. She slept with me every night,though she is the independent type and kept to herself during the day. She never liked to be petted much, only very rarely and would run away quickly afterwards.

She peed on my couch again saturday morning and tried to do it Sunday but I caught her in time to stop her. I was tired of it and placed an ad on line and right away many people answered and I kept changing my mind about wanting her adopted out. Finally, a young lovely girl called me up and I talked with her and agreed to give her the cat. The next 48 hours I was thinking of calling her back to cancel. The girl is starting veterinary studies in college in the fall and loves animals. I feel she will be loved there.

Anyways she came and got her Wednesday after I had called her to change my mind again.

Bottom line is: This is a nightmare! She is gone, and I miss her, and I feel selfish cruel inhumane for not having invested money and time in a cat behaviorist, or just accepted to live with her pee issues. The only cat lover person I know around here told me to do a ritual with my cat everyday to "comfort her spirit" (needless to say, the lady is part of a spiritualist church!). All my other friends have always thought me stupid for having a cat in my home, let alone dealing with a peeing cat.

I just now read that kittens adopted before 12 weeks are not properly done with weaning (emotional and social) from their momcats. This may explain her problem because I adopted her when she was 9 weeks old.

A real nightmare here!

This is my 3rd cat adoption gone awry: 1st cat was in college, I adopted her as a kitten and my roommate told on me at the housing administration and I was threatened with eviciton. I gave the cat away to an old lady whose husband had just died. 2nd cat was an adult female (2 years old) from the SPCA who was ill and with serious behavioral issues (pooping on different spots of the home, and hating kids) so I treated her (over $250) in the 10 days I had her and returned her to the SPCA where she was adopted right away by a nice lady. Now this one cat.

Makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me. In each case, I ended up being a transition home for the cats and I tended to spoil them and show them so much affection. Maybe I am destined to be a kind of "foster" home for them, rather than a permanent?

Anyways, I just needed to talk about it.

Thanks for listening/reading.

God bless.

STOP ADOPTING! I watch the shows and those animals that come into the shelters for the most part are abandoned and abused and it sounds like your cat was abused in the past. peeing on beds and couches is a form of revenge or claiming territory.

Not coming out during the day time and rarely allowing you to pet her is a definite result of being abused in the past. I no it sounds kind of heartless but that through no fault of yours that cat was damaged for life and should have been put down before you got her. Any time a cat chooses the bed over the litter box there is a real bad problem with the cat. The same goes with your second cat. If the cat hated children then it was abused by children and it doesn't matter how much money you sink into that it will never fix the damage done to the cat before you got her.

What is happening here is that you are simply passing on to someone else a damaged, incurable pet with serious problems, just as some one passed the pet on to you. The reality is that the most humane thing to do for these animals should be to put them down. Its not your fault that some cruel un-Godly person took their frustrations out on a defenseless animal and it was even more cruel to pass that damaged pet onto you.

Stop feeling bad and beating yourself up. You did the best that you could do. You tried to help the animal but it was more then you could handle and animals don't talk, they can't tell you how they feel or tell you whats happened to them. How could you have known what you were getting.

God gave you dominion over all the animals living on this earth and you exercised what God gave you by giving the cat to another person in the hopes that it would work out better for the cat. You did the right thing in the eyes of God.

[nebula]

2Christ

Please don't be hard on yourself. You found a good home for all three cats, and it seemed the three new owners needed a pet. Perhaps this young lady will know some tricks that you didn't for behavioral changes?

I know pets do feel like children, but they aren't. They'll get used to the new owner without any long term emotional problem.

I had to give up my cat when I moved to this apartment. A friend graciously offered to take her in. It was rough for my cat for a few months, but now she's adjusting beautifully. She even started sleeping in her new owner's lap - something she never did with me!

Now whether the Lord meant for you to be an intermediary, or if He was simply providing you with new wonderful homes for you pets, I can't say. But perhaps next time, ask the Lord for direction in getting a new pet, and wait to hear from Him. "Should I get a new cat?" "From where?" "Will I be able to keep it this time?" Things like that.

Prayers and blessings

[logos7]

Sometimes the hardest way to show Love is just by letting go. I know you love your three cats, but thee where all things beyond your control. I would say as soon as your grieving proceed is over, definitely get yourself another cat, of course make sure it pass that 12 week kitten stage.

Well be praying for you sister.

[fromIslam2Christ]

Thank you all.

LadyC, you are right. I think I havent yet found the right cat for me.

Isaiah: Wegies are pure breeds right? I checked them and they are best for outdoors and large spaces and I need more of an indoor cat. Also, I checked with pure breeds and it seems to cost quite a bit of money.

.. when there are sooooo many cats out there needing a home!! Sigh...

Nebula: Asking God to guide me in this is something I haven't done, which should have been the first thing to ask. You are so right!!

Massorite: Yes, I also think cats in shelters have been through a lot of trauma and also we rarely know their history. It is true that before adopting them from shelters, one has to be ready to deal with trauma and all...

lady pear tree: Thanks your words made me feel better.

Logos: Thansk for the prayers.

I think this time, I will take as much time as needed to select my cat and listen to God,s voice more.

God bless you all!

[Believer1997]

I know I don't even deserve sympathy for this.

My cat had been peeing on our beds (my children,s and mine) and on my couch regularly and I was really frustrated. This has been going on since I adopted her. She slept with me every night,though she is the independent type and kept to herself during the day. She never liked to be petted much, only very rarely and would run away quickly afterwards.

She peed on my couch again saturday morning and tried to do it sunday but I caught her in time to stop her. I was tired of it and placed an ad online and right away many people answered and I kept changing my mind about wanting her adopted out. Finally, a young lovely girl called me up and I talked with her and agreed to give her the cat. The next 48 hours I was thinking of calling her back to cancel. The girl is starting veterinary studies in college in the fall and loves animals. I feel she will be loved there.

Anyways she came and got her Wednesday after I had called her to change my mind again.

Bottom line is: This is a nightmare! She is gone, and I miss her, and I feel selfish cruel inhumane for not having invested money and time in a cat behaviourist, or just accepted to live with her pee issues. The only cat lover person I know around here told me to do a ritual with my cat everyday to "comfort her spirit" (needless to say, the lady is part of a spiritualist church!). All my other friends have always thought me stupid for having a cat in my home, let alone dealing with a peeing cat.

I just now read that kittens adopted before 12 weeks are not properly done with weaning (emotional and social) from their momcats. This may explain her problem because I adopted her when she was 9 weeks old.

A real nightmare here!

This is my 3rd cat adoption gone awry: 1st cat was in college, I adopted her as a kitten and my roommate told on me at the housing administration and I was threatened with eviciton. I gave the cat away to an old lady whose husband had just died. 2nd cat was an adult female (2 years old) from the SPCA who was ill and with serious behavioural issues (pooping on different spots of the home, and hating kids) so I treated her (over $250) in the 10 days I had her and returned her to the SPCA where she was adopted right away by a nice lady. Now this one cat.

Makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me. In each case, I ended up being a transition home for the cats and I tended to spoil them and show them so much affection. Maybe I am destined to be a kind of "foster" home for them, rather than a permanent?

Anyways, I just needed to talk about it.

Thanks for listening/reading.

God bless.

Forgive me if I have you confused with another member - but, did you not say that you were not supposed to have a cat in your current home and were in danger of eviction if it were discovered? If this is the case, perhaps in the future, when you are able to have a pet, it will work out.

[Matthitjah]

Grace to you,

I have a cat that had a peeing probem. Then we switched vets and the new vet told us the cat was on the verge of death from an infection in her uterus from a urinary infection. She was literally dehydrated and close to dying. This cat had been to the old vet repeatedly and they never saw a thing wrong with her yet she had this peeing problem from day one. We lived with it for a year. They thought it was behavior too. Then the new Vet performed surgery and gave my cat some antibiotics and she's fine now. She's a Calico so she's pretty skiddish and always hiding.

She likes my wife and daughter though. I thought about giving her away too. She was making the house unliveable and peeing on the kitchen table where we eat. Don't be too hard on yourself. Animals do not take precedence over the humans in the house. It's also apparent that my previous vet wasn't up to snuff.

Peace,

Dave