MorningGlory Posted July 24, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1,022 Topics Per Day: 0.16 Content Count: 39,193 Content Per Day: 6.09 Reputation: 9,977 Days Won: 78 Joined: 10/01/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted July 24, 2010 Angelique, I have been thinking about you, feeling for you and keeping you in prayer. I wish that I could do more to help you with what you are going through! (Feel free to let me know if there is any way that I can, okay?) I'm glad you have turned to us here. You asked a good question...if anyone has felt the need to put on a facade to survive. And how many people would never even suspect your feeling dead inside. I pondered over possible causes for this and came up with a couple. One is that we all, as humans feel a desperate need for people to love and accept us. We fear if we make ourselves too transparent or come across as negative, then they might turn against us. Also, we often don't want to drag others down by being vulnerable. I always felt like I must be the strong one in my family. It wasn't till I got sick that I started realizing I let everyone else drain me dry with their problems. Sometimes I also need to be consoled or encouraged by others. I felt some resented me when I opened up. As if I was interfering with their happiness or 'raining on their parade.' But painting a happy face for them wasn't really being fair to myself or even fully truthful. I commend you for having the courage to come to this forum and express how you are struggling. Not everyone is so real and honest to pour their heart out the way that you did... It really touched me. Great post, TT; I could not have put into words what you've said. I think most of us keep the real hurts and disappointments we face inside, and deal with them alone, rather than bother others with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xFireWithinx Posted August 5, 2010 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 0 Topics Per Day: 0 Content Count: 49 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/03/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/06/1986 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Hugs and love to you dear <3 Psalm 25:5 Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. I will keep you in my prayers, and I pray that God helps to heal that void. I'm so sorry for your pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princess2000 Posted August 8, 2010 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 68 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted August 8, 2010 I've been feeling so alone. I keep a 'facade' up to survive. Most, if not all, of my friends and family would never guess I'm feeling this way. It's coming upon 2 years since nascarman passed. I've graduated and facing the big gaping hole of loneliness which I've been staying busy to avoid. I've been dating but that doesn't even begin to tough the 'void' that is inside of me. I feel empty, drained, and dead on the inside. I have been very angry at God for taking my husband. Now that the anger has subsided, I feel dead. And, again, I really think that no one would see that in me because I've learned to cover to survive. This feeling is horrible. Has anyone ever felt this way? Oh Angie! You are not alone! I too strugle with a dark side! It has been a year since I last drew lines and words on my arm with a screwdriver (hard enough to cause pain, soft enough to never bleed) I consider myself a recovering cutter, but my friend whom I confided this in tells me that I am not a recovering cutter, that I had to use a blade to be a cutter. I'm not so sure this is true. Anyway, slightly off topic. The point is, much like with you, that hole that lead me to the screwdriver is still there, it has scabbed, the scab has been ripped off, and is begining to scab once again. I have healed through my father, through confronting him on the things he has done to cause me pain (writing on facebook the truth of his father's health, but never sitting my sister and I down to tell us that.) We have made peace with eachother, and that has helped me heal. I've also forgiven my mother for something I've hated her for since I was little and her father died, she prayed that he would not suffer, that if he had to pass he would do so quickly, without pain. Now, knowing my other grandfather is sick, and being so much more mature I understand, while I selfishly want my grandfather to be at my wedding, I also wish that he would not suffer, and if that means death, then so be it. I suppose my whole point is that you are not alone and I am always willing to talk with you. You have taken the first step in telling us, we have risen to meet you, now let us walk together and support eachother. Peace out ~Beka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheya joie Posted August 8, 2010 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 7 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2,054 Content Per Day: 0.29 Reputation: 351 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/15/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted August 8, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon-Marc Posted August 8, 2010 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 15 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/05/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/08/1946 Share Posted August 8, 2010 I live alone and love it, but actually I am never alone. I have the Holy Spirit dwelling within me, and I am watched over by angels. My Lord has promised never to leave me alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imoss Posted August 9, 2010 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 119 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 26 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/07/2010 Status: Offline Share Posted August 9, 2010 The Lord wrap his arms around you and surround you with His love. It is hard to comprehend when we pray so hard how it is that God would not do our will in a matter. How could he allow this overwhelming pain? All I know for sure is that you have expressed anger at the one who would comfort you and the Lord is close to you right now. God did not cause this (that I'm aware of). We have our free will & this leads to so many things... disease, accidents, suffering. There is no way to fill the hole that your husband has left except to fill it with beautiful memories and allow the Holy spirit to seal it with the Love of God. psalm 34:18... The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. - Forgive your husband too for leaving you, I know as crazy as that sounds you must be very hurt that he left, whether it was his choice or not. <3 2 u. Bless your heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praiseius-Maximus Posted August 9, 2010 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 0 Topics Per Day: 0 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/01/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/01/1975 Share Posted August 9, 2010 i also deal with a spirit of lonliness..i feel like nobody understands me... sometime i feel like im trapped in a box.. i will pray for you,, and please pray for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRaven Posted August 12, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,981 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1964 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I so understand. I know you've been down for years, it's possible the 'feel good' chemicals (serotonin or dopamine) in your brain might be drained away from all the time you've spent feeling this way. I would see a doctor for a physical and talk to him about it. One thing I do know is that dating does not necessarily fill the 'void' and sometimes creeps can sense you have that void and prey on you, so be very careful who you allow in your life right now. I am praying for you, I have been praying for you since I was here last time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Joyful Posted August 22, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 48 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,901 Content Per Day: 0.35 Reputation: 365 Days Won: 29 Joined: 08/16/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted August 22, 2010 Thinking about you today..**hugs** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Shalhevet~ Posted August 23, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 334 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 2,049 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 120 Days Won: 4 Joined: 08/13/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted August 23, 2010 Oh sister. *big hugs* I will pray that the Lord comforts you. You are never alone. God is always here. He loves you so much and doesn't want you to feel this way. Cling to Him. And dont' be afraid to ask your brothers and sisters here for support. This is a big family of love and we are here to help each other through difficult times. Hang in there. May God be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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